Curly hair isn't sexy?

I'm a guy and I hate my curly hair. It's caught somewhere between wavy and curly where only the tips feather out to annoy me I straighten it as often as I can because I'm trying to grow it out for the winter months, but unfortunately in summer, the sweat on my neck and around my hairline makes it all curl, so...

In short, I don't like (hate) it on me, but I like it just fine on other people

You have great hair. I've always been jealous of women with curly hair. Mine if baby fine and flat as it gets.

That said, with women we always seem to want the hair we do not have.

As someone with pin-straight fine hair that won't even hold a fake curl, I seriously envy you. I think unruly, crazy curls are the absolute best thing in the world and I would shave my head clean if it meant tomorrow it would start growing in curly.

I write a lot and one of my favorite (and best-loved, according to my friends) characters is Anna. She's known for being motherly and caring, but has a saucy, sexy side as well. The first thing one notices about her is her crazy mop of yellow curls. So there are people out there who think real curls are insanely awesome and sexy!

Here's Anna, for good measure (my art, thus okay for me to post) :

Multiply how You feel 100 times when it comes to Black "Curly Hair." The stereotyping, negative attitudes/comments...some how being Natural is Good ON:Y in food, not other things GOD Created. Again, I guess you are feeling the "white" stereotype of what is "Superior".

As long as the person takes good care of their hair anything goes. Nothing looks worse than hair bleached, straightened, curled, or dyed to death.... Maybe hair that hasn't seen shampoo in a few weeks, but that's something I count under 'not taken care of'.

My personal preference is straight over curly and dark over bright, but it really depends on the person. Some people look stunning with curly hair, some with blond hair.

I don't.
For me that means black dye every few weeks.

Personally, I don't feel like myself with straight hair. I had a relaxer most of my life and finally was "allowed" to let my curls grow again. I LOVE my curls. I love your curls. I love my close friend's curls, which are always all over the place. I love my man's curls that always flop over his forehead. I think is all in HOW the curls are presented. For example, curly hair in high pigtails looks really young and girlish. Let down in your face however...I think that's a look that's sexy with any hair type. Also, curly hair does a lot that straight hair doesn't. All my friendss with straight hair wish they had curly hair...go figure.

Also, anyone who thinks your curls aren't sexy OBVIOUSLY hasn't seen your curls correctly. Hair envy to the max. :laugh:

Thank you so much!

I must say, you and your BF are so cute together. I have a very big space in my heart for BF/WM relationships, seeing as my Mum is black and Dad white. I don't see it often so it always makes me grin like a goof, especially when they have kids. They always seem so happy together, too

Oh goodness, that was sweet. :blushing:

theres been moments when i was younger that a part of me wanted to have straight hair,
but ive grown up and i no longer feel that way.

curly hair rocks!! and its sexy in its natural ringlet wild frizzy way

if i flat iron it, its only in winter time texas weather is high in humidity so i dont bother with it lol.
i do recall a lot of the "oh its cute" and "oh you look thinner with straight hair" and blah blah blah i dont pay attention to catty remarks that girls make.. after all haters gonna hate lol

NO WAY.. see that picture of my hair? that took me AN HOUR to get any sort of a curl into it.. my hair is poker straight and trust me i spend my life wishing i had curly hair!! you are so lucky having curls! enjoy them!!!!

im most confident looking like this-

girl, you are ROCKING those curls.

I think it depends on the reason for the relaxer. My mother suggested I get a relaxer at age 13 because I was about to go into high school and she didn't want to do my hair for me each morning anymore. I was unable to do it myself, so I agreed. If my mother had said I'd look prettier with a relaxer or something of that nature, I'd take issue with it. But for me the relaxer has always been for convenience.

The fact that your mother was conveying the message that your hair was so unmanageable that there was no other way to deal with it "for convenience" is very negative. Back when you were 13 there were probably no alternatives. Now, there are.

I don't blame a black woman in a white male-dominated, high-pressure field for wearing her hair straight. She's dealing with so many other issues that she may not want to take the chance of someone rejecting her because of her hair. But I would certainly hope she wouldn't internalize the beliefs about curly kinky hair and reject another professional for having such hair.

We all also have different views. I think well -cut curly hair is fine, but I don't always like dreads and sister locks in ultra conservative settings.

It wasn't that she conveyed that message I think. We basically sat down and she said that now that I was going into high school she was going to stop doing my hair for me each day. I tried to do it myself for a week and failed miserably--and I was very upset because in my mind the only way I could manage it was by cutting it short. She then told me that there was something called a relaxer that would make it easier for me to manage with long (past my shoulder) length hair. She also told me I could consider getting braids or dreads or any of the other things that people with natural hair have. After looking at all the options--I decided that I wanted a relaxer because it would give me the freedom to do what I wanted with my hair while keeping it at the length I wanted and the style I wanted. She never pressured me into it--she gave me alternatives that I could look into, I told her what were my priorities--keeping my hair long and being able to do it myself and have it look the way I wanted it to-- and suggested that for those priorities, I might consider a relaxer. She was actually hoping that I'd want braids.

I agree with you that rejecting a professional for having kinky or curly hair is wrong...I also think, though, that there's a stigma with relaxers that is unwarranted. I don't reject people for having kinky or curly hair, but don't judge me for mine either

I used to straighten my hair everrrry day, only because I didn't know how to do it any other way. One day, I just quit! Didn't feel like putting that kind of time into it anymore. Some earlier said, your hair doesn't make you sexy, it's an attitude. -- iagree! If people think my hair looks sloppy, messy, or that I'm just a regular ole' cute person, so be it. But I get compliments every day on my hair, how they wish they could have it, etc., and if that many people want it, then there must be a reason When I get smaller, I think I'll be pretty damn sexy, and the curls will just add to it.

I like my curls/waves when they decide to behave...it's the frizz i can't stand

^This!!! The frizz drive me crazy and I think that is majorly unsexy. My hubby hasn't said one sway or another if he finds me sexier straight or wavy; he's the same way either way IF you catch my drift....

I say us curlies have the best of both worlds! I have a mop of unruly, bouncy, blond curls all over my head. But I love them! They are fun, and wild, and sexy as hell. And, when I want to look serious and seductive, I can straighten it and take in all those compliments and stares! It's much easier to go from super curly to straight than the other way around! Embrace your curls....we make a lot of women jealous by having them!

But that's exactly the stereotype I am challenging. Why can't we be/look serious and seductive with curls?

Think of what stereotypes you can think of curly haired girls - Grace in Will and Grace, Lucy in I Love Lucy, etc. They are the funny, cute girls.

Hated my curly hair and straighten it for the first 24 years of my life. Finally, gave up with the hrs of work and embraced the curls, let it grow long. Now, I love them and my husband can't stand it when I straighten my curls.

I wish my hair was more curly. My hair isn't really naturally curly, it's more "wavy" which I find really annoying because I have to work extra hard to get them to curl as much as I want them to. I can't ever just take a shower, scrunch my hair and walk out. It ends up looking stupid if I do that.