Curly hair isn't sexy?

crisanderson27 · July 2012

My hair is extremely curly. I guess this was cute when I was young but now I keep it short to hide the curls.

^^^^^^^^

This is about the longest I let my hair get now...and you can see the curls coming in already:

soonskinny7 · July 2012

I have curly hair too (long, dark brown, loose-spiral), and I get compliments all the time from people who say they'd kill for my hair. However, 98% of these compliments come from girls. I rarely have guys comment on or compliment me for my hair. I think women see it as sexier than men do, probably because all kinds of wild-curly/wavy/kinky hair types are popularized by the world of high fashion. I can't count how many ads I've seen in Vogue/Harper's Bazaar/ Cosmopolitan that have featured glossy, sexy, perfect, pin-up style models with said hair types. I should mention that I never see ads featuring these models in men's magazines. We are being sold different ideals of gender perfection.

Restlessme · July 2012

I do have curly hair and I absolutely would LOVE it if I knew how to do it.
Your curls are absolutely gorgeous and honestly, if I could do my hair like that, I'd wear it down every day.

Straightening hair just tends to be damaging and I'm tired of damaging my hair.

Thanks hun. Look, if you need any advice/tips, feel free to ask. I used to be so upset over my damaged, dry, frizzy hair, looking at childhood photos and lamenting that my curls would never look the same again.

Now, it's easy for me. No special styling products, no leave ins. I just look after it well, and it does the work for me.

Don't hesitate if you need any help.

And, YES, the straightener is damaging, look what it done to my hair :sad:

So. No flat ironing for me. At least until 2013. I can do banding if I want a straighter look.

I'm hoping you don't mind if I message you then!

I'm definitely trying to maintain a no flatironing until a certain date as well. Plus, you don't leave anything in your hair? I plop everything in mine.

Redtango76 · July 2012

I have curly hair that looks very much like yours...most of the comments I receive regarding my hair are positive. " is that natural ? Your so lucky! " or i love your hair it's super cute! I haven't had many people tell me it looks better straight. But for some reason I was compelled to straighten it for a while. I have since given up on straightening and only wear it curly. I think part of the issue may be that for sometime straight hair has been the popular way to style it. But I can remember the 80's and 90's when every woman on the planet was getting spiral perms and teasing their hair to the maximum volume ! And lucky me didn't have to even try it just came natural ...yup us curly girls rocked the 80's and 90's .

enchanted_daydream · July 2012

I have naturally curly hair which I have learned to love even though all my childhood I wanted straight hair! The only thing I still hate is when it gets frizzy. Now I only occasionally straighten it went I want it to be more manageable because it has gotten pretty long and is really thick, but the compliments I get when I have it natural far outweigh when it is straight. And I definitely find wavy/curly hair gorgeous on other women! Your curls are beautiful!

V3ggieL0vinGinger · July 2012

I have a head of super curly, bouncy red hair. I'm slowly learning to love it. I used to straighten the hell out of my poor hair every single day and then it started to become all unhealthy and broken. I stopped straightening and now it's healthy again. I'm constantly told that my hair is gorgeous whenever I wear it curly. I don't know who you've been talking to, but curly hair is the bomb!

Love your locks!

mfpcopine · July 2012

I say us curlies have the best of both worlds! I have a mop of unruly, bouncy, blond curls all over my head. But I love them! They are fun, and wild, and sexy as hell. And, when I want to look serious and seductive, I can straighten it and take in all those compliments and stares! It's much easier to go from super curly to straight than the other way around! Embrace your curls....we make a lot of women jealous by having them!

But that's exactly the stereotype I am challenging. Why can't we be/look serious and seductive with curls?

Think of what stereotypes you can think of curly haired girls - Grace in Will and Grace, Lucy in I Love Lucy, etc. They are the funny, cute girls.

Yeah, they're funny, but they are never the romantic characters. Curly hair is used as a limiting shorthand for a personality type.

And think about all the more recent movies about ugly duckling girls who are made over into swans. The young woman often starts with dark, frizzy hair and ends up with straight hair. She's often presented as uncouth and awkward until she gets her hair straightened and steps into 3" high heels (don't get me started on high heels.) The message is clear: If you want to be hot and sophisticated your curly hair has to go.

And Grace and Lucy have wavy, curly hair -- a far cry from the kind of African American kinky curly hair about which the OP wrote. HUGE difference.

mfpcopine · July 2012

It wasn't that she conveyed that message I think. We basically sat down and she said that now that I was going into high school she was going to stop doing my hair for me each day. I tried to do it myself for a week and failed miserably--and I was very upset because in my mind the only way I could manage it was by cutting it short. She then told me that there was something called a relaxer that would make it easier for me to manage with long (past my shoulder) length hair. She also told me I could consider getting braids or dreads or any of the other things that people with natural hair have. After looking at all the options--I decided that I wanted a relaxer because it would give me the freedom to do what I wanted with my hair while keeping it at the length I wanted and the style I wanted. She never pressured me into it--she gave me alternatives that I could look into, I told her what were my priorities--keeping my hair long and being able to do it myself and have it look the way I wanted it to-- and suggested that for those priorities, I might consider a relaxer. She was actually hoping that I'd want braids.

I wasn't saying that you were pressured into it. But the idea that your hair must be controlled in some way either by braids or chemicals is a negative one. Thank goodness a lot of women are now exploring other methods.

AndiJoy812 · July 2012

I say us curlies have the best of both worlds! I have a mop of unruly, bouncy, blond curls all over my head. But I love them! They are fun, and wild, and sexy as hell. And, when I want to look serious and seductive, I can straighten it and take in all those compliments and stares! It's much easier to go from super curly to straight than the other way around! Embrace your curls....we make a lot of women jealous by having them!

But that's exactly the stereotype I am challenging. Why can't we be/look serious and seductive with curls?

Think of what stereotypes you can think of curly haired girls - Grace in Will and Grace, Lucy in I Love Lucy, etc. They are the funny, cute girls.

Yeah, they're funny, but they are never the romantic characters. Curly hair is used as a limiting shorthand for a personality type.

And think about all the more recent movies about ugly duckling girls who are made over into swans. The young woman often starts with dark, frizzy hair and ends up with straight hair. She's often presented as uncouth and awkward until she gets her hair straightened and steps into 3" high heels (don't get me started on high heels.) The message is clear: If you want to be hot and sophisticated your curly hair has to go.

And Grace and Lucy have wavy, curly hair -- a far cry from the kind of African American kinky curly hair about which the OP wrote. HUGE difference.

First curly girl heroine in the recent media - the new Disney Princess, Merida. She has this wild, uncontrollable red hair - the only time it was "tamed" in the movie was when her mother was trying to force her to act like someone she wasn't. I know that Disney has been the worst offender of teaching young girls that you need a man to rescue you - but I think they got the story right, for once. Merida is a smart, independent, strong-willed and capable young woman - Disney finally got the story right.
And as the mother of a curly girl who is 4 and is all about everything pink and princesses, I loved it.

treetpflyer · July 2012

I love curly hair on a lady. I think it is different and I find it very sexy!

Redtango76 · July 2012

I say us curlies have the best of both worlds! I have a mop of unruly, bouncy, blond curls all over my head. But I love them! They are fun, and wild, and sexy as hell. And, when I want to look serious and seductive, I can straighten it and take in all those compliments and stares! It's much easier to go from super curly to straight than the other way around! Embrace your curls....we make a lot of women jealous by having them!

But that's exactly the stereotype I am challenging. Why can't we be/look serious and seductive with curls?

This has to do more with the style of the times anybody remember Pretty Woman the emphasis on her beauty was her long red curly hair.

Think of what stereotypes you can think of curly haired girls - Grace in Will and Grace, Lucy in I Love Lucy, etc. They are the funny, cute girls.

Yeah, they're funny, but they are never the romantic characters. Curly hair is used as a limiting shorthand for a personality type.

And think about all the more recent movies about ugly duckling girls who are made over into swans. The young woman often starts with dark, frizzy hair and ends up with straight hair. She's often presented as uncouth and awkward until she gets her hair straightened and steps into 3" high heels (don't get me started on high heels.) The message is clear: If you want to be hot and sophisticated your curly hair has to go.

And Grace and Lucy have wavy, curly hair -- a far cry from the kind of African American kinky curly hair about which the OP wrote. HUGE difference.

Redtango76 · July 2012

Oops that didn't work ....what I was trying to say was ....that current movies transform women to the current style ...if you look back there are many movies that portray women with curly hair as sexy ....any body remember Pretty Woman the emphasis on her beauty was placed on her long curly red hair!

RobynMWilson · July 2012

I fought my curly hair all thru my 30s up till the last year. i ripped my hair out and it got shorter and shorter from the breakage till I finally looked back at some pics and thought I looked better with curly hair. Whenever I do my hair curly, I get nothing but compliments and how beautiful my hair is. And now it's growing like a week and my curl is back to "normal" after years of destroying my hair with the flat iron. And I've never had anyone not call me sexy when I wear it curly. So I'm back to being "me" after seeing the grass really isn't greener on the "other" side...esp b/c when I wore my hair straight for years I missed the body it had when it was curly. I forgot I AM curly! lol

RobynMWilson · July 2012

I have a head of super curly, bouncy red hair. I'm slowly learning to love it. I used to straighten the hell out of my poor hair every single day and then it started to become all unhealthy and broken. I stopped straightening and now it's healthy again. I'm constantly told that my hair is gorgeous whenever I wear it curly. I don't know who you've been talking to, but curly hair is the bomb! Love your locks!

Exactly! God knew what he was doing when he made us...took me a long time to see curly fits my carefree independent spirit and looks better on me lol

tea_addicted_ · July 2012

I just curled my hair (: I love my hair curly!! Normally, its kind of fluffy, puffy, and wavy haha

DizzyLinds · July 2012

I lose my mojo if my hair isn't curly!

Redtango76 · July 2012

Oops that didn't work ....what I was trying to say was ....that current movies transform women to the current style ...if you look back there are many movies that portray women with curly hair as sexy ....any body remember Pretty Woman the emphasis on her beauty was placed on her long curly red hair!

vacherin · July 2012

"No one desires" curly hair? Mine looks very similar to yours, and EVERYONE comments on it wherever I go. Men have always found it sexy (until they find out what a bizarre personality I have - then they run). I think you must be living in the wrong town. Come to West London and you'll be fighting them off with a stick!

Josie_lifting_cats · July 2012

The grass is always greener. My hair is closer to straight than curly. But for my boudoir photos.......

My husband was THRILLED that I curled my hair. He loves it when I curl it.

Sometimes I think men like the whole "different side" we seem to have when we do the opposite of "normal" with our hair. That's all.

kytte · July 2012

i think you should be yourself, and be happy with who you are. it's nice if someone compliments you with straight hair, but that doesn't mean you should want to satisfy them all the time. and sure, maybe you get more attention from men that way but let's be honest a woman doesn't really need attention from more than one man, and if you are only yourself and the way you were meant to be, then soon enough you will find the man who is right for you.

Naomi0504 · July 2012

OP, I know what you mean, I notice it too. My hair is very curly, I'm mixed, so my hair is 3b/3c. It did take me a long time to love my hair though. I used to straighten (damage) it all the time.

My husband (white) prefers it curly :-) I do notice more "attention" from other men when my hair is straight. But that doesn't make me want to keep straightening it though. I'm happy with it curly.

My 3 year old son has hair just like mine, it's long, so it looks like Corbin Bleu's hair :-)
No one ever asks me if we're going to straighten it, but with my oldest daughter, everyone asked when we were gonna straighten/relax it :-/

muffintop20 · July 2012

I get told the complete opposite. People say to me that I look better with curly hair. My hair is in between curly and straight. You should do what YOU prefer, not what others prefer

Some people may think straight hair isn't seductive and curly is, just depends on the person!

FretheMJsmokingcannibal · July 2012

Honestly, my natural hair is straight on top and curly on the bottom so I look like I have wavy hair. I got my hair permed because I love curls, I liked my hair before but I love loose curls. If I would love to have curls all around natural like my mom and sister. Be proud of your curls! Just because they aren't one person's taste, doesn't mean they aren't someone else's!

kater8er · July 2012

I wasn't saying that you were pressured into it. But the idea that your hair must be controlled in some way either by braids or chemicals is a negative one. Thank goodness a lot of women are now exploring other methods.

I don't think it's negative necessarily. I think it can be negative, but in my case it's been a very positive experience, and I wish other people wouldn't judge me for that choice.

flatbellybella · July 2012

I look better with straight... everyone tells me something different.
I really don't give a damn anymore. lol

paulsmisses · July 2012

This has been on my mind for a while now, and I just wanted to express myself, and perhaps get some other people's opinions/thoughts on the matter.

All my life, whenever I straighten my hair, I get told it looks better. Or I should do it more often. When I look to the media, there's negative curly stereotypes everywhere, and curly hair is often representated only by wavy hair or artificially curled hair. We get told that our hair is hard work, or hear other curlies tell everyone curly hair is a nightmare. I constantly hear other curlies say they straighten their hair daily, and that they hate their curly hair.

I feel I am treated better when my hair is straightened, found to be more attractive. Taken more seriously. I am attracted to white men, and I get more looks from them when my hair is straight.

I am told my curly hair makes me look 'fun', cute, open. I am not told it makes me look sexy or seductive.

When I have seen men asked which they prefer, an overwhelming majority say they prefer straight hair, or loose curls.

I love my curls, but I am starting to feel insecure about them. Me, of all people. I sometimes crave straight hair, and I don't know why. I refuse to use any heat on my hair anymore, because the heat damaged a few curls and left them looser, even though I take very good care of my hair and flat iron to a minimum.

I do love curly hair, and I love mine. I have loads of pictures saved on my laptop of gorgeous ladies with big or long healthy curls. I feel they look sexy, and I certainly feel sexy when I have a good hair day.

But all this time, in the back of my mind, there is just this little voice reminding me that, while some people may think curly hair is nice, not many people think it's sexy. Many think it's unprofessional, or wild, or 'cute', or just plain not as attractive as straight hair. It's never going to be the ideal. It's always going to be looked down on. No-one desires it.

I'm not going to lie, it kind of burns. Why is it like this? Why can't all hair types, as long as they're healthy, be regarded as sexy?

I personally think any long, healthy hair is sexy. The emphasis is on health, for me, not curl, or lack thereof (though, I do have a special place in my heart for long frizz-free type 2c-3c hair).

Thoughts?

Any fellow curlies, how do you feel about this?

i love curls so much that i had my hair loose permed! i think it looks way nicer and my hubby loves it!

Octopies · July 2012

I'm pretty tired of those hair-straightener kiosks in malls telling me that my hair should be straight, that I'll be so much more confident, so much more sexier. Even after I tell them I *like* my curly hair they don't let up! It takes everything I have to not tell them to *kitten* off because I'm happy with the way I look. Screw you, I'm already confident and I'm on my way to being sexy!
It kind of feels bad to know that people see my hair as a problem to be fixed.

RitaSantoss · July 2012

I usually LOVE curly hair, like a true love affair with it. But since I got my new hair, I'm obsessed with leaving it straight.

stina0t2 · July 2012

My hair used to be straight to wavy, but over the last 10 years... I'm turning into Helena Bonham Carter. And I'm not complaining... much. It's at an awkward stage now... If I get it cut shorter, it'll look good. If I let it grow a little longer, it'll look good, but at barely-shoulder length, it goes OUT instead of down. :laugh:

I had the EXACT same problem. But the waves softened out a lot the longer my hair got.
Love the HBC reference. That's exactly how I describe my hair some days.

beano716 · July 2012

Curly hair IS sexy!!

I have curly hair, but I didn't always love it. I straightened my hair every day for about 7 years. One day I realized that I was attempting to make my hair do something it's never going to do, and 45 minutes a day is a lot of wasted time! It does take a lot of trial and error, time, and patience to find the right combination of shampoos/conditioners/styling products/techniques to make your curly hair look perfect, but once you find it, you'll never go back. Trust me!

Curly hair is beautiful - I get complimented almost daily by men and women alike.

Don't be discouraged by the "Everyone wants what they can't have" mentality. You were born with curly hair, so embrace it! Who cares if the media says that curls aren't what's "in" right now? The media also tells us that women are only attractive if they are size 0's with no curves. We all know that's not true.

Curly hair is SUPER sexy - if it's healthy (as you say, healthy hair always looks better), it will be lush, shiny, bouncy, and voluminous. It's romantic and seductive at the same time.

Regardless, being sexy is all in your head. If you think your curly hair isn't sexy, then it won't be. If you think your curls are hot, other people will agree!

Curly hair isn't sexy?

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