can you date your brothers ex wife

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Replies

  • sobriquet84
    sobriquet84 Posts: 607 Member
    if its a situation where you'd have two titles (uncle AND dad, in this case) then i'd say NO.
  • _Ivian
    _Ivian Posts: 198
    Negative Ghost Rider!
  • rockchalk03
    rockchalk03 Posts: 54
    No, no, no!
  • HeatherDee92
    HeatherDee92 Posts: 218 Member
    Bros Before Hoes literally.
  • bethgames
    bethgames Posts: 534 Member
    Nope, unless your brother is dead....and then I think it is expected in certain cultures. :noway:
  • classycouture
    classycouture Posts: 888 Member
    "This is my uncle... Wait, no, my step-dad... wait, no, my uncle..."

    Spare the kid the years of therapy.
  • beansprouts
    beansprouts Posts: 410 Member
    Wow....after all of the crap that she had to go through with your brother....Why in the world would that woman even look at another male from your family?Messy...Messy!
  • rosiepor
    rosiepor Posts: 8 Member
    You should be asking your brother! But I say no.
  • Goal_Line
    Goal_Line Posts: 474 Member
    Danger Will Robinson! Danger!
  • mary_kate23
    mary_kate23 Posts: 156
    so would you be his uncle or step dad? also, would any children that come from this be the existing child's sibling or cousin? too much drama for something that may not pan out well.. i'd stay away. but that's just me.. everyone is entitled to their own opinions and needs, so if this makes you happy and you don't mind upsetting the entirety of a family, then go for it.
  • DeeVanderbles
    DeeVanderbles Posts: 589 Member
    Well.....

    my biological father is currently married to one of his brother's exes, but I don't think the brother and her were ever married, I think they were just dating, though they do have several children together. Sooo....now my cousin is also my step-brother? WTF?

    I'm not very close with that side of my family so I'm enough removed from it to say whatever makes him happy, as long as the brother doesn't care. But from an outside perspective, that's just gross.
  • PayneAS
    PayneAS Posts: 669 Member
    It depends completely on your family dynamics. In some families that is a non-issue. They don't care. In other families it is something completely wrong. So, based on this post alone, I'm guessing that your family is probably one of the latter or you wouldn't be asking our opinion. How willing are you to deal with the strife this may cause in your family? Even if you (and the ex-wife) never see your brother, what about how your mother's feelings? This is something you have to decide on your own and not rely on a forum to answer for you.
  • GodsGirl37
    GodsGirl37 Posts: 348
    no I wouldn't advise it. it would cause a lot of problems in the end.
  • Sugarchef
    Sugarchef Posts: 319 Member
    No.
  • MeliJean78
    MeliJean78 Posts: 249
    Dear Redneck,

    I am a depraved individual & even I think this is a stupid idea.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    The heart wants what it wants, as the great Woody Allen once said. Stranger things have happened. Give it a try - if it works out, then anybody who matters in your life will accept it. If it doesn't, you can just never mention it.

    The fact that you're quoting WOODY ALLEN...............................nothing more need be said. Woody Allen porked his DAUGHTER. :noway:


    This is a huge NO WAY.
  • hkevans724
    hkevans724 Posts: 241 Member
    Nope. Not in this lifetime. Besides, your brother divorced her pretty quick. Must be a reason.
    She might have divorced him because he is such a loser.. doesn't take care of his kid now probably didn't then either...
  • Flugangst
    Flugangst Posts: 98 Member
    I don't believe in such a thing as "Dating rules." Rules in which "You can't so and so, we used to date!" etc, etc. That's middle school/high school bull****. You can date whomever you want. It's nobody's business but your own. I say go for it.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    The heart wants what it wants, as the great Woody Allen once said.
    Not the best example, maybe.
  • stubbysticks
    stubbysticks Posts: 1,275 Member
    Can you? Sure you can. Should you? Depends on how selfish you are.

    If you are only concerned for your happiness & hers, then go for it.

    If you want the kid to grow up with an ounce of respect for you or his mother & give a crap about what your brother/parents/other family members think of you, you may want to rein it in a bit. It's not just you involved here.

    The mature thing to do would be to consider the effects of such a decision on EVERYONE involved, & if you agree that those effects are undesirable, you will accept that simply wanting something isn't a good enough reason to pursue it. Best of luck.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    Wow....after all of the crap that she had to go through with your brother....Why in the world would that woman even look at another male from your family?Messy...Messy!
    My husband has 3 brothers and they're all VERY, VERY different from each other. I wouldn't have touched two of my brother in laws with ten foot poles, so you can't necessarily use that as a measurement of someone's relationship worthiness...
  • Linbo93
    Linbo93 Posts: 229 Member
    Don't stone her to death.

    I don't know what I'd do in your situation.

    But I can second this, a solid piece of advice!
  • Poorgirls_Diet
    Poorgirls_Diet Posts: 528 Member
    I would say no or else speak to your brother first and if he is agreeable then yea go for it. But stop and think first how confusing this would be on your brothers children, not to mention if you and her are going to have children again.

    However does she really love you or is she trying to get back at your brother?

    I honestly think you know what you are going to do yourself but just wanted reassurance from someone else. No matter if you hate your brother or get on with him you NEED to sit down and discuss the matter openly and without this girl nearby. Just don't do something that you will regret later. In all fairness blood is thicker than water and don't let someone come between your family, believe me, its not worth it for lustful feelings
  • phinphanbill26
    phinphanbill26 Posts: 574 Member
    Your brother sounds like the type that would not consent to the relationship...so I say give it a try.
  • jeffrodgers1
    jeffrodgers1 Posts: 991 Member
    Two words - 'Uncle Daddy'

    Oh this so reaks of...

    Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed
    This made my dad my son-in-law and really changed my life For now my daughter was my mother, 'cause she was my father's wife And to complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy
    My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad For if he were my uncle, then that also made him brother Of the widow's grownup daughter, who was of course my step-mother
    Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue Because although she is my wife, she's my grandmother too
    Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild 'Cause now I have become the strangest 'case you ever saw As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa
    I'm my own grandpa, I'm my own grandpa It sounds funny, I know but it really is so I'm my own grandpa
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
    yeah they did divorce for a reason.. they where both in the air force and when SHE was deployed to iraq he cheated on her

    Okay, I was going to say a big ole no, but reading this it seems like your brother is the **** and if you don't talk to him and he doesn't talk to her, it would be better for your nephew to have an uncle as a father figure than some random guy. I would recommend taking things VERY slow though...get to know each other well. Yeah, it might be confusing at first but I work with a girl who has a nephew that is a few months younger than her because her dad is his grandpa or however that works. It takes all sorts to make families!
  • LaurySch
    LaurySch Posts: 277 Member
    Hey, go for it. I mean, in biblical times you'd probably have been obliged to marry her, or stone her to death. Not really sure which one applies.

    Don't stone her to death.


    This made me laugh! Taking her out for a drink to see if you actually have a chance does not mean you hate your brother! If the rest of your family seems okay with it and you are obviously wanting to, then who am I to say no. I'd say go slow and make sure everyone involved is cool with where things are going.
  • gwduker
    gwduker Posts: 293
    I have heard of worse scenerios. Heck, I used to live with my ex brother-in-laws ex wife and I'm not even from Kentucky! :bigsmile:

    Sounds like you and your brother aren't close to make it an issue. Follow your heart.
  • Babsvii
    Babsvii Posts: 177 Member
    So you are going to play Uncle and Step daddy??? UH NO WAY! totally off limits. that is just too weird. there are many other women in this world... maybe if they didn't have a kid this would be semi ok if you asked his permission or how he would feel but how do you explain that to the child? does the kid now call you dad even though you are really his uncle? strange.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    I would never pursue a relationship that sounds complicated from the get go. There are just too many fish in the sea my friend.....keep fishin!

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