can you date your brothers ex wife
Replies
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Two words - 'Uncle Daddy'
this!!!!!
absolutely no!0 -
this guy i work with is actually married to his ex wife's brothers wife..(if that makes any sense) his wife now was his ex brother in laws wife..lol..get it?? anyways they both have kids from their previous marriage so the kids r brothers and they r cousins..they dont seem to mind they stilll call each other cousins!!!
as for ur nephew if he didnt know his father or u has an uncle..hes gonna just take you as the father picture!!!i dont c the big issue!0 -
"This is my uncle... Wait, no, my step-dad... wait, no, my uncle..."
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Out of respect for your brother, I say no.0
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go for it. life's to short not to be happy. if it doesn't affect your relationship with your brother I see no harm in it. I married my ex boyfriends brother and couldn't be happier.0
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NO! as simple as that! trust me from personal experience seeing what a similar situation did to my two cousins and our whole family... NOOOOOOOOOOOO! just my opinion though!0
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Ok before you come here and immediately say no.. listen to the story..
I have only met her once before and that was ten years ago.. they divorced 8 years ago.. i havent seen her or talked to her in ten years.. then she brings my nephew up for vacation to visit my parents.. and we kinda hit it off. it wasnt expected. And if i am single and she is single whats it hurt right.. or am i way off base..
now you bring up they have a child together.. well he hasnt seen his son in years.. he is not in his life he doesnt even pay child support..
am i just making this stuff up in my head that it is ok because we really like each other or should i just not do it..
i say yes if she is willing ......my sister husband died in a motorbike accident...his younger brother and she started dated...had two kids and finally got married when the all the kids were old enough to join in ....they are healthy happy and still together after 26 years
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I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your brother but you might want to speak to him before you do anything! hope it all works out 0
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Btw, this is the basic plot of Shakespeare's play _Hamlet_, except that the uncle killed the father before marrying his brother's wife. At the end of the play everyone dies. The nephew-son kills his uncle-father. Just sayin'.
HAMLET
You are welcome: but my
uncle-father and aunt-mother are deceived.
GUILDENSTERN
In what, my dear lord?
HAMLET
I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is
southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.0 -
CAN YOU BANG HER HELL YES CAN YOU DATE HER HELL NO
I'm partial to this answer0 -
Had to talk this one through with the hubby to see what he said too lol We both feel uncomfortable with the idea. So a few people here have seen situations like this work out...but what if it doesn't? Think about the child He probably had it tough enough the first time around and you don't want to take the risk of messing things up totally for your parents seeing him if things go pear shaped. There is a lot more to consider than just you both here I guess is what I am saying.
My husband was less wordy with it... "So Uncle Ron becomes Daddy Ron and then things don't work out and it's back to Uncle Ron"0 -
Fact of the matter is you can, no matter what the situation is because, well, you can. Plain and simple. Bigger question is, does the thought of dating and/or more with your ex sister in law bother you or bother her? If not, go on ahead.0
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Ever heard the song "I'm my own Grandpa"? Sounds like it could apply in this situation.
In all seriousness, if you are concerned about it, I'd talk to your bro first and run it by him. If he gives his okay, I'd say do it if it doesn't creep you out.
Too bad your bro turned out to be a deadbeat dad. That really irks me when men do that.
Good luck!0 -
Wow lots of mixed responses.. thats awesome.. that makes for a good convo... I do not talk to my brother as we dont get along.. last time i seen him we boxed.. my other family members thought it was pretty ok that we hit it off.. guess it is all situational
I would say no. But it's also not like your brother seemed to treat her well, or you well. IMO it doesn't matter if he's your brother by blood or not if he's not treating you like a brother, then ****, do what you want, and if your family is smart then they will see through it and understand. If they aren't let them have their drama and just smile while walking away.0 -
WOW...that is pretty ballsy...like someone else said,there are TONS of women in the world...i have 2 kids with my ex and if my sister ended up dating him,that would be a HUGE slap in the face,not only cause hes my ex but because of all the crap hes put me through..i think its wrong when friends date their friends ex's let alone your OWN BROTHER! WOW..seriously..walk away before it becomes a lot worse....0
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A big fat hell no!! I wouldn't date my ex best friends ex.0
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Ever heard the song "I'm my own Grandpa"? Sounds like it could apply in this situation.
In all seriousness, if you are concerned about it, I'd talk to your bro first and run it by him. If he gives his okay, I'd say do it if it doesn't creep you out.
Too bad your bro turned out to be a deadbeat dad. That really irks me when men do that.
Good luck!
Just when men do it though huh. It irks me when ANY parent is a deadbeat parent. >.>0 -
Oh yeah that won't be awkward at all!!
"hey friends that came over after school, this is my step-dad and my uncle"
Friends: "I don't see an uncle?? Where is he?"
Oh Uh i mean they are the same guy..
I do feel for you, really i do, but HELL NO!!0 -
i think that in our culture such things are a tad taboo.
it'd be one thing if they had just dated in the past, or been a couple for a time....but they were married. they had a child. there is an unspoken connection there. regardless of the distance between your brother and his ex wife now.
perhaps speak to your brother about this...if he 'honestly' doesn't mind go for it.
family first though!0 -
I say go for it!
Y'all are happy, family is cool with it, Bro is a douche and you don't talk to him anymore, don;t pass on something that could be once in a lifetime!0 -
Ask him how he would feel about it and respect that !!!0
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1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10........No.0
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My husband has 3 brothers and they're all VERY, VERY different from each other. I wouldn't have touched two of my brother in laws with ten foot poles, so you can't necessarily use that as a measurement of someone's relationship worthiness...Wow....after all of the crap that she had to go through with your brother....Why in the world would that woman even look at another male from your family?Messy...Messy!
That's true...but even so...fair or not...he is always going to be compared to the ugly/ex brother.0 -
No really, why would the kid feel the need to explain this to his friends? Enlighten me on why he wouldn't just introduce him as step-dad?Oh yeah that won't be awkward at all!!
"hey friends that came over after school, this is my step-dad and my uncle"
Friends: "I don't see an uncle?? Where is he?"
Oh Uh i mean they are the same guy..
I do feel for you, really i do, but HELL NO!!0 -
The morals alone...
So many fish in the sea!
Ah!!! Don't go there! If you aren concerned your brother would take issue with it, then you should know the answer! Good luck!0 -
As requested, I read your entire first post and I still say NO!
Its bro code man. You don't date your bro's ex...0 -
Ok before you come here and immediately say no.. listen to the story..
I have only met her once before and that was ten years ago.. they divorced 8 years ago.. i havent seen her or talked to her in ten years.. then she brings my nephew up for vacation to visit my parents.. and we kinda hit it off. it wasnt expected. And if i am single and she is single whats it hurt right.. or am i way off base..
now you bring up they have a child together.. well he hasnt seen his son in years.. he is not in his life he doesnt even pay child support..
am i just making this stuff up in my head that it is ok because we really like each other or should i just not do it..
A few thoughts...
You said she brought your nephew up for vacation - seems like she's not in your neighborhood... so is it even practical based on distance?
Also, if her ex/your brother is really that much out of his own son's life, then f* him. Seriously, who give's a *kitten* what he thinks.
Having said that, yes, there is still plenty of opportunity for awkward moments. But yes, of course it can work, if you two are really right for each.0 -
First of all, the response saying it would be like sleeping with your brother is completely asinine. At least you've probably hugged your brother, I'm sure she's slept with a whole bunch of dudes you wouldn't touch.
Second. I've seen a real life application of this and it worked. Husband cheated on his wife, not a bad woman, just not the BS crazy s*** he was looking for. After they divorced she started talking to his brother, well signing, the poor guy is deaf, and now they are married. Kid was on my son's baseball team that I coached and he was pretty well grounded. I'm no child psychologist and it doesn't mean he won't grow up to b***f*** bunny rabbits, but fwiw he was 7 and seemed to understand. These people are actually close and see each other on a weekly basis and they were able to contain their drama in public.
Personally I wouldn't because my brother and I have a pretty good relationship, but it sounds like your in a different place so don't let conventional wisdom get in the way of trying this thing out. And yes you could be your nephew's Duncle, but marriage is a long way off from a cup of coffee and a screw.
Good lord, I didn't know you had a brother, Thurston! How's Lovey doing?0 -
Given that you don't talk to him, he cheated on her while she was deployed and the fact that you guys have really hit it off and you really seem to like her...go for it! His loss-he cheated on her, it's not like she just left him for you or something.0
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No really, why would the kid feel the need to explain this to his friends? Enlighten me on why he wouldn't just introduce him as step-dad?Oh yeah that won't be awkward at all!!
"hey friends that came over after school, this is my step-dad and my uncle"
Friends: "I don't see an uncle?? Where is he?"
Oh Uh i mean they are the same guy..
I do feel for you, really i do, but HELL NO!!
^^ THIS EXACTLY!!!!0
This discussion has been closed.
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