Chuck Norris...

bikermike5094
bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
in Chit-Chat
Whats your favorite Chuck Norris line?
«13456

Replies

  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
    Chuck Norris once had sex in a semi-trailer. Some sperm accidentaly got into the engine, and Optimus Prime was born.


    BAM!
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer....too bad he never cries.
  • Shells06
    Shells06 Posts: 109 Member
    Steroids once tested positive for Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.

    Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he's already following you.
  • twistofcain
    twistofcain Posts: 190
    "Here is a Chuck Norris fact, I kicked his *kitten*" -Bruce Lee
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
    Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
  • gwduker
    gwduker Posts: 293
    There are 6 billion people in the world, because Chuck Norris allows it.
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
    The main export of Chuck Norris is pain.
  • LokiOfAsgard
    LokiOfAsgard Posts: 378 Member
    Who would win in a fight? Superman or Batman?
    Answer: Chuck Norris
  • Shells06
    Shells06 Posts: 109 Member
    Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • TexanThom
    TexanThom Posts: 778
    "Thanks guys". Me and a buddy of mine were in a "gentlemans" club in Dallas. They asked if we could move so Chuck could sit there.
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
    If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
  • katamus
    katamus Posts: 2,363 Member
    Chuck Norris counted to infinity... Twice.
  • Shayztar
    Shayztar Posts: 415 Member
    Chuck Norris never calls a wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
    Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
  • jonward85
    jonward85 Posts: 534 Member
    Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting. Hunting implies the chance for failure. Chuck Norris goes Killing.
  • ambrwaves27
    ambrwaves27 Posts: 206
    When Alexander Graham bell invented the telephone he had missed three calls from Chuch Norris.

    Chuck Norris can understand women :):)
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
    A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
  • Runs4CupCakes
    Runs4CupCakes Posts: 132
    my 10 yr old loves chuck norris jokes a few he has told me: chuck norris doesnt flush the toliet he scares the crap out of it, the boogie man checks under his bed for chuck norris at night, there is no such thing as tornados chuck norris just doesnt like trailor parks and, chuck norris doesnt breathe he holods air hostage,,,,
  • MrsB724
    MrsB724 Posts: 247
    Chuck Norris is the only guy that can turn lemonade into lemons.
  • whiteheaddg
    whiteheaddg Posts: 325 Member
    Not sure if it is true, but it is awesome. Read #1

    http://listverse.com/2010/07/16/10-truly-ridiculous-criminal-acts/
  • OtekahSunshield
    OtekahSunshield Posts: 42 Member
    There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard, only another fist.
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
    Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
  • jonward85
    jonward85 Posts: 534 Member
    Ghosts sit around the campfire telling Chuck Norris Stories.
  • missmgray
    missmgray Posts: 152 Member
    Chuck Norris is the only guy that can turn lemonade into lemons.

    Oh ma goodness...hahahahaha....Love it.
  • poppadop89
    poppadop89 Posts: 31
    Chuck Norris doesn't go swimming, water just wants to be around him.

    It's said that Chuck Norris has another fist behind his beard.

    When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't simply push himself up, he pushes the ground down.

    Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.

    Chuck Norris attacks sharks when he smells them bleeding.
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
    I have WWCND tattood on my wrist.
  • fiveohmike
    fiveohmike Posts: 1,297 Member
    Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the *kitten* out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
    Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
    chuck norris can talk about fight club

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