Skip to content
  • Register
    • We are pleased to announce that as of March 4, 2025, an updated Rich Text Editor has been introduced in the MyFitnessPal Community. To learn more about the changes, please click here. We look forward to sharing this new feature with you!

    Chuck Norris...

    2456

    Replies

    • Posts: 534 Member
      Some magicians can walk on water...Chuck Norris can swim through land!
    • Posts: 7,173 Member
      Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
    • Posts: 813 Member
      Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming that Law and Order are actually the trademarks for his right and left legs.
    • Posts: 56
      "Chuck Norris eat lightning and farts thunder" hahahah
    • Posts: 476 Member
      Chuck Norris once slammed a revolving door.
    • Posts: 3,275 Member
      chuck norris does not swim, water just likes to be around him \m/
    • Posts: 534 Member
      Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
    • Posts: 476 Member
      Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
      Haha LOVE this one! :laugh:
    • Posts: 361
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj2Zf9tlg2Y

      ^^^all of it

      just a disclaimer: language
    • Posts: 534 Member
      Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
    • Posts: 75 Member
      bump
    • Posts: 1,410 Member
      Juck Norris once had a "Who has the most testicles" contest against Lance Armstrong.
      Chuck Norris won by three.
    • Posts: 135 Member
      bump
    • Posts: 396 Member
      when bruce banner gets mad he turns into the hulk.. When the Hulk gets mad.. he turns into Chuck Norris
    • Posts: 534 Member
      Albert Einstein discovered an alternate reality in which the Chuck Norris there was more powerful than the Chuck Norris here. Chuck Norris found out about this and round housed him before he could publish his findings. Albert Einstein is now known as Stephen Hawking.
    • Posts: 813 Member
      Juck Norris once had a "Who has the most testicles" contest against Lance Armstrong.
      Chuck Norris won by three.

      This is AWESOME!!!!
    • Posts: 206
      Juck Norris once had a "Who has the most testicles" contest against Lance Armstrong.
      Chuck Norris won by three.


      HAHAHAHAHA!!!
    • Posts: 73
      Does Chuck Norris fart? of course not, no body talks *kitten* behind his back and gets away with it!
    • Posts: 163
      Chuck Norris don't break hearts, he breaks legs!!!
    • Posts: 15,694 Member
      Chuck Norris' mom gave him a shovel to play with as a child. We now have the Grand Canyon.
    • Posts: 157 Member
      When the boogeyman goes to bed at night, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris

      Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

      Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

      Chuck Norris can make a Slinky go up the stairs.
    • Posts: 15,694 Member
      Chuck Norris was born on February 30th

      Chuck Norris can compare apples to oranges

      Chuck Norris puts his pants on two legs at a time

      Chuck Norris spelled backwards is "pain"
    • Posts: 333 Member
      Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

      There are too many to pick just one favorite, but this one would definitely be in the top 3!
    • Posts: 1,008
      these are great!!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :bigsmile:
    • Posts: 246
      Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.
    • Posts: 1,410 Member
      Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
    • Posts: 83
      Chuck Norris dosent use bubble gum if he wants to blow bubbles he chews beef jerky :)
    • Posts: 206
      Chuck Norris doesn't need to wait for a bite when he goes fishing, the fish know Chuck doesn't like to wait.
    • Posts: 311 Member
      I once heard that when you're typing about Chuck Norris he sneaks up behind you and bangs your head on the keyb......fdlkc;dcfddsls;pplo;p
    • Posts: 1,849 Member
      show previous quotes
      Haha LOVE this one! :laugh:

      Hey! I posted it first! You just acknowledge hers first because she has a boob shot in her profile pic and I don't. :grumble: LOL :tongue:
    This discussion has been closed.

    Welcome!

    It looks like you're new here. Sign in or register to get started.
    Sign In
    Register

    Quick Links

    Categories