Help I'm getting married in 9 weeks
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WalkingAlong wrote: »So you know the motivations of everyone here? That's nice.
I wish I didn't see the gang/bully mentality I do see.
"You had 18 years and now it comes down to 9 weeks... well, good luck."
Is there a way to read that as supportive?
Nope, never said I knew the motivations of anyone.
As for the above statement, it's honest and it's blunt, but I don't see it as--to use your earlier verbiage--trying to kick someone when they are down.
Besides that, there is some truth in that statement when it comes to the juxtaposition of being with someone 18 years and planning a wedding and then worrying about losing weight 9 weeks before the wedding.
Anyway, those are just my thoughts.
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Thanks for un-friending me. I went to do it and noticed you beat me to it.
What does the length of her relationship have to do with anything? Is a woman supposed to start dieting the day she meets a man, in hopes of someday walking down the aisle in a size 6 dress?
Is her having *only* 9 weeks really relevant at all? She's been trying. Why bring up any past time span at all? Were you ever overweight? Were you "with someone" then? Is that relevant?
Yeah, those are just my thoughts.-1 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »Thanks for un-friending me. I went to do it and noticed you beat me to it.
What does the length of her relationship have to do with anything? Is a woman supposed to start dieting the day she meets a man, in hopes of someday walking down the aisle in a size 6 dress?
Is her having *only* 9 weeks really relevant at all? She's been trying. Why bring up any past time span at all? Were you ever overweight? Were you "with someone" then? Is that relevant?
Yeah, those are just my thoughts.
Time span is kinda critical when talking about goals.
Yes, I was overweight. Not obese, but overweight enough to not be comfortable and secure with myself just like she described. And not that it's any of your business, but yes, I was with someone then.
Here are the properties of a goal:
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my advice 30 day shred I lost so many inches I was a size 14 and just finished my 2nd one and im now a 10 in uk, its free on youtube0
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Try eating high fibre foods and no carbs at dinner time! Also try a fitness bootcamp. They can be a little pricey but it motivated you to go everyday. It sounds like you're stressed which can affect your body so drink plenty of water get lots of sleep and keep at it 0
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Will motivate **0
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I suggest a seamstress as well.
Not because I'm trying to be mean, or be a bully, or because I'm saying that losing the weight is impossible.
It's because it will eliminate the unnecessary stress of trying to fit into your dress at the last minute. I've planned a wedding, and there's enough stress involved, you don't need extra!0 -
you need to find a seamstress and go with the corset back that everybody has already mentioned. The likelihood that you're going to lose an entire dress size in a matter of weeks is quite frankly slim to none. So stop stressing yourself about it, go see a seamstress, and enjoy your wedding.I NEED HELP !!!!!!!!
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WalkingAlong wrote: »Thanks for un-friending me. I went to do it and noticed you beat me to it.
What does the length of her relationship have to do with anything? Is a woman supposed to start dieting the day she meets a man, in hopes of someday walking down the aisle in a size 6 dress?
Is her having *only* 9 weeks really relevant at all? She's been trying. Why bring up any past time span at all? Were you ever overweight? Were you "with someone" then? Is that relevant?
Yeah, those are just my thoughts.
Walking along,
The part I put in bold above: Thank you for the morning smile, but his isn't a third grade playground.
Countless times I've been in the same spot that the OP is, where there is something that was coming up that I've known about and rushed to find that quick fix/miracle to lose the weight. It was like I was on a conveyor line looking for just the right diet to lose the weight so I could be just perfect for the event.
I was not just overweight my entire life, I was obese as well. I grew up the fat kid, I lost some weight in my early forties, kept most of that off except gained about 30 pounds back, which is what led me to using the tools on MFP.
For me, it's an everyday thing to make sure I am in check with the foods I choose (no food is good or bad, preference only) and that I stay reasonably within my calorie deficits. That way, I'm living life and not trying to rush around to make myself just right for that big event.
I certainly tried to lose weight countless times, but--and this is just me and has nothing to do with anyone else or anything anyone has said here--I never got it that the bottom line is that I need to eat less calories than I burn to lose weight and that moderation is the key (for me). I needed to figure out why I was eating so much and work on those issues and fix my relationship before I could actually keep the weight off. I needed to figure out why I wasn't losing the weight when I was trying to.
Miracles don't work, and neither do short-term solutions.
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These are great pointers.SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »Thanks for un-friending me. I went to do it and noticed you beat me to it.
What does the length of her relationship have to do with anything? Is a woman supposed to start dieting the day she meets a man, in hopes of someday walking down the aisle in a size 6 dress?
Is her having *only* 9 weeks really relevant at all? She's been trying. Why bring up any past time span at all? Were you ever overweight? Were you "with someone" then? Is that relevant?
Yeah, those are just my thoughts.
Time span is kinda critical when talking about goals.
Yes, I was overweight. Not obese, but overweight enough to not be comfortable and secure with myself just like she described. And not that it's any of your business, but yes, I was with someone then.
Here are the properties of a goal:
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I might get shot down for suggesting this... but I gained a bunch of weight just before my wedding as I had a seriously stressful load of exams all together.. So 2 months before the wedding I did a juice fast for a week, then a week after that I did the Atkins diet (cringe, I know this was really silly!) . Anyway in this time I lost about 9 pounds, I kept it off until the wedding by staying low carb, and I looked nice and slim for the wedding! Gained it back after my honeymoon, obviously, but I knew I would . I guess it depends how desperate you are, but I'm waiting for someone to jump on me now for suggesting this lol.. 0
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I did this!!! I tried the slim fast and 30 day shred for a few weeks, over the 30 days and i was combining the 6 week 6 pack with 300 crunches on a ab roller from Argos! I went from 9st 1 to 7st 10lb!!!! I still need to loose my belly flab!
which wont seem to stay away!!! But I lost a fair bit but i put some back! 
But I felt more confident! Try thsi im sure it'll work, the slim fasts were good as i have a very very sweet tooth so i was having a sweet meal each time so i didnt feel deprived! 0 -
pinklotus_56 wrote: »I suggest a seamstress as well.
Not because I'm trying to be mean, or be a bully, or because I'm saying that losing the weight is impossible.
It's because it will eliminate the unnecessary stress of trying to fit into your dress at the last minute. I've planned a wedding, and there's enough stress involved, you don't need extra!
My thoughts exactly. Knowing the dress will fit whether those few pounds are lost or not is one less (and very big) thing to stress out over.0 -
CodeMonkey78 wrote: »I dont always upload my food intake onto mfp but always carry my hand written diary. I take calories off packets and total them and use as quick add calories. as for my exercise I use my heartrate monitor all the time to tell me how many calories I have used. it looks like I will have to alter my dress but I really did not want to. I also started this link as I thought some people may be able to help. to be honest I think I was looking for miracle ....... I am very young at heart and so desperately wanted to finally lose this stupid stone I seem to be carrying and I generally thought that I would ! I am sick and tired of being fat ..... some of you may laugh or criticize me but at the end of the day all I am looking for is happiness and self worth and of course to look stunning when I finally marry the man I love after being together for 18 years !
Some people can be just mean. We are all on MFP for one reason or another that has to do with weight loss or maintenance so while some are "laughing or criticizing" just know that there are some of us who feel your pain and have been where you are. Folks are recommending a seamstress and that's great but that ONLY hits on your here & now...what about after the wedding and you still want to lose weight and be happy in the skin you're in. Seamstress isn't the complete and final answer. You reached out for help and some are just being cruel. 9 weeks or now 7 or 8 weeks should be more than enough time to see some real results with clean eating.
I'll try to address these in order..
- Honesty is mean? The OP asked for a magical solution and received factual advice. The truth hurts, but it is the truth. Nobody is ridiculing the OP - just saying that it is not realistic, safe, and/or healthy.
- Again, nobody is laughing or criticizing. Only honest answers.
- Some of us, huh? How about MOST or ALL of us. I've lost 120 pounds, but it took TIME and hard *kitten* work. I assure you that 120 extra pounds did not appear on my body overnight and it sure as hell didn't disappear overnight. But I obviously have no clue whatsoever about what being overweight *feels* like.
- The OP was asking for a "here and now" solution. It doesn't exist without crazy-*kitten* crash dieting or surgery. Neither are a good or healthy idea.
- I'd prefer to be honest and refer her to a seamstress than to recommend some BS, unhealthy, crash diet that will do more harm than good.
- Cruel? For giving an honest answer? Do you live in a bubble? If anyone doesn't want an honest answer, don't ask the question.
- "Clean Eating" does not equal weight loss. Caloric deficit does. "Cleaner" eating has higher nutritional value, but that is a completely different topic.
Clean eating does equal weight loss when you are pairing it with effective workouts. I have seen this work myself. My post to the OP was just that- my opinion on how they can get results that will last far after the wedding dress. The benefits go beyond weight loss but it goes without saying that cleaining up unprocessed foods in your diet and consuming whole foods (which is what I mean by the term clean eating) will produce great results when paired with cardio and strength routines.
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WalkingAlong wrote: »Thanks for un-friending me. I went to do it and noticed you beat me to it.
What does the length of her relationship have to do with anything? Is a woman supposed to start dieting the day she meets a man, in hopes of someday walking down the aisle in a size 6 dress?
Is her having *only* 9 weeks really relevant at all? She's been trying. Why bring up any past time span at all? Were you ever overweight? Were you "with someone" then? Is that relevant?
Yeah, those are just my thoughts.
The length of her relationship at least indicates that the guy is hardly likely to dump her or react negatively to her not losing the weight. I mean, from the sounds of it, she's been this weight/size the whole time, and thought she was ordering a dress to fit her current size.
That means the stress is not "oh, I want to be this size to look good for hubby, etc", it's "oh, crap, I need to lose the weight so I can look good in this dress". Which means it's more than reasonable to say "hey, why add significant stress to your life just before your wedding. Go get the dress altered to fit and forget about trying to lose at least one dress size in 9 wks".
The time frame is relevant because it's a narrow window to lose that much weight, especially since OP isn't having instant results. By the time she tries this thing and that thing to sort out why she isn't losing, her wedding will be here. And, since there's no guarantee the fat will come mainly off of her torso, what happens if she loses mainly from her lower body? She could meet her goal weight and still won't fit in the dress.0 -
CodeMonkey78 wrote: »I dont always upload my food intake onto mfp but always carry my hand written diary. I take calories off packets and total them and use as quick add calories. as for my exercise I use my heartrate monitor all the time to tell me how many calories I have used. it looks like I will have to alter my dress but I really did not want to. I also started this link as I thought some people may be able to help. to be honest I think I was looking for miracle ....... I am very young at heart and so desperately wanted to finally lose this stupid stone I seem to be carrying and I generally thought that I would ! I am sick and tired of being fat ..... some of you may laugh or criticize me but at the end of the day all I am looking for is happiness and self worth and of course to look stunning when I finally marry the man I love after being together for 18 years !
Some people can be just mean. We are all on MFP for one reason or another that has to do with weight loss or maintenance so while some are "laughing or criticizing" just know that there are some of us who feel your pain and have been where you are. Folks are recommending a seamstress and that's great but that ONLY hits on your here & now...what about after the wedding and you still want to lose weight and be happy in the skin you're in. Seamstress isn't the complete and final answer. You reached out for help and some are just being cruel. 9 weeks or now 7 or 8 weeks should be more than enough time to see some real results with clean eating.
I'll try to address these in order..
- Honesty is mean? The OP asked for a magical solution and received factual advice. The truth hurts, but it is the truth. Nobody is ridiculing the OP - just saying that it is not realistic, safe, and/or healthy.
- Again, nobody is laughing or criticizing. Only honest answers.
- Some of us, huh? How about MOST or ALL of us. I've lost 120 pounds, but it took TIME and hard *kitten* work. I assure you that 120 extra pounds did not appear on my body overnight and it sure as hell didn't disappear overnight. But I obviously have no clue whatsoever about what being overweight *feels* like.
- The OP was asking for a "here and now" solution. It doesn't exist without crazy-*kitten* crash dieting or surgery. Neither are a good or healthy idea.
- I'd prefer to be honest and refer her to a seamstress than to recommend some BS, unhealthy, crash diet that will do more harm than good.
- Cruel? For giving an honest answer? Do you live in a bubble? If anyone doesn't want an honest answer, don't ask the question.
- "Clean Eating" does not equal weight loss. Caloric deficit does. "Cleaner" eating has higher nutritional value, but that is a completely different topic.
Clean eating does equal weight loss when you are pairing it with effective workouts. I have seen this work myself. My post to the OP was just that- my opinion on how they can get results that will last far after the wedding dress. The benefits go beyond weight loss but it goes without saying that cleaining up unprocessed foods in your diet and consuming whole foods (which is what I mean by the term clean eating) will produce great results when paired with cardio and strength routines.
Umm.. No. It is simple math. If you burn more than you take in, you lose weight. Further, you WILL gain weight while eating "clean" food if you ingest more than you burn. Period. You must have a Caloric deficit.
Side note: any reduction in Calories paired with cardio and strength routines will produce results. You are CREATING a larger Caloric deficit.
You are speaking in terms of nutional value and making healthy long-term habits -- which is great. BUT, the OP was asking for an immediate solution and there is not one.0 -
CodeMonkey78 wrote: »CodeMonkey78 wrote: »I dont always upload my food intake onto mfp but always carry my hand written diary. I take calories off packets and total them and use as quick add calories. as for my exercise I use my heartrate monitor all the time to tell me how many calories I have used. it looks like I will have to alter my dress but I really did not want to. I also started this link as I thought some people may be able to help. to be honest I think I was looking for miracle ....... I am very young at heart and so desperately wanted to finally lose this stupid stone I seem to be carrying and I generally thought that I would ! I am sick and tired of being fat ..... some of you may laugh or criticize me but at the end of the day all I am looking for is happiness and self worth and of course to look stunning when I finally marry the man I love after being together for 18 years !
Some people can be just mean. We are all on MFP for one reason or another that has to do with weight loss or maintenance so while some are "laughing or criticizing" just know that there are some of us who feel your pain and have been where you are. Folks are recommending a seamstress and that's great but that ONLY hits on your here & now...what about after the wedding and you still want to lose weight and be happy in the skin you're in. Seamstress isn't the complete and final answer. You reached out for help and some are just being cruel. 9 weeks or now 7 or 8 weeks should be more than enough time to see some real results with clean eating.
I'll try to address these in order..
- Honesty is mean? The OP asked for a magical solution and received factual advice. The truth hurts, but it is the truth. Nobody is ridiculing the OP - just saying that it is not realistic, safe, and/or healthy.
- Again, nobody is laughing or criticizing. Only honest answers.
- Some of us, huh? How about MOST or ALL of us. I've lost 120 pounds, but it took TIME and hard *kitten* work. I assure you that 120 extra pounds did not appear on my body overnight and it sure as hell didn't disappear overnight. But I obviously have no clue whatsoever about what being overweight *feels* like.
- The OP was asking for a "here and now" solution. It doesn't exist without crazy-*kitten* crash dieting or surgery. Neither are a good or healthy idea.
- I'd prefer to be honest and refer her to a seamstress than to recommend some BS, unhealthy, crash diet that will do more harm than good.
- Cruel? For giving an honest answer? Do you live in a bubble? If anyone doesn't want an honest answer, don't ask the question.
- "Clean Eating" does not equal weight loss. Caloric deficit does. "Cleaner" eating has higher nutritional value, but that is a completely different topic.
Clean eating does equal weight loss when you are pairing it with effective workouts. I have seen this work myself. My post to the OP was just that- my opinion on how they can get results that will last far after the wedding dress. The benefits go beyond weight loss but it goes without saying that cleaining up unprocessed foods in your diet and consuming whole foods (which is what I mean by the term clean eating) will produce great results when paired with cardio and strength routines.
Umm.. No. It is simple math. If you burn more than you take in, you lose weight. Further, you WILL gain weight while eating "clean" food if you ingest more than you burn. Period. You must have a Caloric deficit.
Side note: any reduction in Calories paired with cardio and strength routines will produce results. You are CREATING a larger Caloric deficit.
You are speaking in terms of nutional value and making healthy long-term habits -- which is great. BUT, the OP was asking for an immediate solution and there is not one.
This is correct. You don't defy the laws of physics just because you're clean eating and exercising. Weight loss is a calorie deficit. Its your body burning more than it's ingesting. OP needs to stay with a calorie deficit and get the dress tailored.0 -
CodeMonkey78 wrote: »I dont always upload my food intake onto mfp but always carry my hand written diary. I take calories off packets and total them and use as quick add calories. as for my exercise I use my heartrate monitor all the time to tell me how many calories I have used. it looks like I will have to alter my dress but I really did not want to. I also started this link as I thought some people may be able to help. to be honest I think I was looking for miracle ....... I am very young at heart and so desperately wanted to finally lose this stupid stone I seem to be carrying and I generally thought that I would ! I am sick and tired of being fat ..... some of you may laugh or criticize me but at the end of the day all I am looking for is happiness and self worth and of course to look stunning when I finally marry the man I love after being together for 18 years !
Some people can be just mean. We are all on MFP for one reason or another that has to do with weight loss or maintenance so while some are "laughing or criticizing" just know that there are some of us who feel your pain and have been where you are. Folks are recommending a seamstress and that's great but that ONLY hits on your here & now...what about after the wedding and you still want to lose weight and be happy in the skin you're in. Seamstress isn't the complete and final answer. You reached out for help and some are just being cruel. 9 weeks or now 7 or 8 weeks should be more than enough time to see some real results with clean eating.
I'll try to address these in order..
- Honesty is mean? The OP asked for a magical solution and received factual advice. The truth hurts, but it is the truth. Nobody is ridiculing the OP - just saying that it is not realistic, safe, and/or healthy.
- Again, nobody is laughing or criticizing. Only honest answers.
- Some of us, huh? How about MOST or ALL of us. I've lost 120 pounds, but it took TIME and hard *kitten* work. I assure you that 120 extra pounds did not appear on my body overnight and it sure as hell didn't disappear overnight. But I obviously have no clue whatsoever about what being overweight *feels* like.
- The OP was asking for a "here and now" solution. It doesn't exist without crazy-*kitten* crash dieting or surgery. Neither are a good or healthy idea.
- I'd prefer to be honest and refer her to a seamstress than to recommend some BS, unhealthy, crash diet that will do more harm than good.
- Cruel? For giving an honest answer? Do you live in a bubble? If anyone doesn't want an honest answer, don't ask the question.
- "Clean Eating" does not equal weight loss. Caloric deficit does. "Cleaner" eating has higher nutritional value, but that is a completely different topic.
Clean eating does equal weight loss when you are pairing it with effective workouts. I have seen this work myself. My post to the OP was just that- my opinion on how they can get results that will last far after the wedding dress. The benefits go beyond weight loss but it goes without saying that cleaining up unprocessed foods in your diet and consuming whole foods (which is what I mean by the term clean eating) will produce great results when paired with cardio and strength routines.
Sure, clean eating can equal weight loss, but only if you are in a calorie deficit. However, you can eat clean and exercise all you want, but you will gain weight if you are eating a calorie surplus.0 -
Have you been to the doctor? Maybe you have an under active thyroid or something or maybe there is a certain type of food you are eating that isn't working for you.0
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What above said. =D You will drop weight fast if you cut carbs out completely but you feel like crap but i guess thats the price to pay for a quick solution. Drink more water!0
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