I got my feelings hurt.

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12346

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  • Eudoxy
    Eudoxy Posts: 391 Member
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    From what I've read, it sounds like it was him wanting her to get the tummy tuck, and her stomach isn't that bad. That would hurt my feelings, too. (If that's how it was).
  • Lourdesong
    Lourdesong Posts: 1,492 Member
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    It would hurt my feelings if I said something insensitive and my husband went online and made a thread about it instead of talking to me.
    I find it hard to be empathetic to anyone who talks crap about their spouse to strangers.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    Lourdesong wrote: »
    It would hurt my feelings if I said something insensitive and my husband went online and made a thread about it instead of talking to me.
    I find it hard to be empathetic to anyone who talks crap about their spouse to strangers.

    oh yeah, that would hurt my feelings too.
  • UltimateTrashBae
    UltimateTrashBae Posts: 175 Member
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    FredDoyle wrote: »
    Nice man bashing. Don't you mean people suck or are insensitive sometimes? What happened to equality?

    No. Shut up.
  • LolBroScience
    LolBroScience Posts: 4,537 Member
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    macedinthedick wrote: »
    FredDoyle wrote: »
    Nice man bashing. Don't you mean people suck or are insensitive sometimes? What happened to equality?

    No. Shut up.

    I like your name. Seriously.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
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    _dracarys_ wrote: »
    Had he not seen your abdomen before today? Regardless, it's a legit question and it doesn't sound like he asked in a way to purposely hurt you, but I wasn't there.
    That's exactly what I thought. Since he's seen you naked for at least all the time you've been married, what brought the question up now?

    That sounds like a question a boyfriend you've just gotten lovey with might ask...but a husband?

    Heavy weight lifting is helping me immensely.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    MKEgal wrote: »
    mistypile wrote:
    He proceeded to ask me how I got all that excess skin on my belly. I was so hurt and I cried.
    I've let him know that his comments hurt and he is very, very apologetic and assures me that he loves every bit of me
    YAY!
    Apparently his ex-wife didn't have any problems rebounding after 2 kids ...
    I was over 180 at one time and got down to 120
    At 5'4", going by BMI you should be 110 - 140. So you're at a healthy weight already. Stay steady with the calories, increase your weightlifting to tone up all over. Oh, and drink enough water.
    http://www.shapeup.org/bmi/bmi6.pdf

    That being said, I'm down almost 60 lb myself and am not having any problem with loose skin.
    Everyone's different.
    Quick, undo the jinx!

    I said that, too, as I neared sixty pounds. Guess what I have at seventy-three? Lots of loose skin. And I have like fifty or so more pounds to go. :(

    Throw some alt over your shoulder, knock on wood, do all the things, lol! :)

  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
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    meridianova wrote: »
    men can be insensitive like that.
    You mean people can be like that.
  • chadya07
    chadya07 Posts: 627 Member
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    maybe i have been overweight for so long that i stopped feeling shame over every little thing that makes me "imperfect"..... but i did. for the longest time, feel shame over my body, to the point where something as simple as mentioning it or asking a question would send me into a dark place of self hatred.

    at some point i had to learn to accept myself enough that speaking about a truth didnt make me hate myself or the person who dared speak it....

    if you have something that is part of you, and all he did was ask about it, when it was appropriate to the topic, i dont get how someone as intimate with you as your husband should be banned from speaking about a truth. and how you should be ashamed that he recognizes it.

    the problem isnt him, in my opinion. but then again it could be, since we get only a snippet of your life here. but based on the information given thats my opinion.



  • loribethrice
    loribethrice Posts: 620 Member
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    I'm sorry that that happened! I would have been very hurt too. My stomach is the biggest issue I have and even at 148lbs and 5'9 I can't fix it. I have been considering surgery.
  • crisb2
    crisb2 Posts: 329 Member
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    I'd rather have a pooch than some of the really gnarly tummy tuck scars i've seen... ugghh no, grossss
  • hortensehildegarde
    hortensehildegarde Posts: 592 Member
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    I'm too tired to read all the 4 pages of responses but could someone explain to me why that question would hurt feelings or let me know if it's already explained in the previous 4 pages? I'm curious.

    One time I got asked about the stretch marks on my back (I think it was something like "what are those" or "what's that on your back") and it surely wasn't someone as close to me as a spouse. I didn't have issue explaining where they came from. It was a legit question. Was it hurtful just cause husband's question wasn't just honest curiosity?

    Obviously I need to go to sleep if I am wondering over such things.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »
    I think you're being way too sensitive.

    You're 130 lbs... Your "pooch" can't be that bad. If you want to see bad pooches, search for them on Google images. I'm sure that will make you feel better about yourself.

    How in the world do you know without seeing a picture, considering we don't know how much she's lost? I'm 132 pounds and my pouch is huge, as if I was carrying 5 extra pounds of fat in my belly.
  • Ringo1812
    Ringo1812 Posts: 18 Member
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    Men are wired a different way. To them that would be a legit question and would have no idea that you were emotional about the question. Always communication is key. Please tell him how you feel about it. Even the best of husbands over the time of your marriage, forget that we as women are wired very differently! Keep the communication open.
  • harlequin0318
    harlequin0318 Posts: 415 Member
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    If it's bothering him so much - then he can pay to fix it? amiright!?!
  • Phrick
    Phrick Posts: 2,765 Member
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    harlequin0318 wrote: »
    If it's bothering him so much - then he can pay to fix it? amiright!?!

    did you even read the thread? smh
  • findingmyw1ngs
    findingmyw1ngs Posts: 107 Member
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    mistypile wrote: »
    Thanks All for the support. I am going to begin lifting so we'll see if that helps.

    Maybe in addition to lifting start pillates or something similar to build core muscles.
  • LTGPSA
    LTGPSA Posts: 633 Member
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    Wow ~ his belly must be perfect for him to feel comfortable making such a judgmental statement. Shake it off and focus on you. Your work toward You should be only about You; i.e., you've got to learn to disregard his rude remarks, since he apparently doesn't know how to filter.
  • cich86
    cich86 Posts: 13 Member
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    Ringo1812 wrote: »
    Men are wired a different way. To them that would be a legit question and would have no idea that you were emotional about the question. Always communication is key. Please tell him how you feel about it. Even the best of husbands over the time of your marriage, forget that we as women are wired very differently! Keep the communication open.

    Best thing I've heard through out! Yes, my husband says a few insensitive things and really sometimes doesn't even mean them. I would use his 'ignorance' of sorts, to fuel you to push on. Also def check with a doctor because its their job to promote wellness and he may be able to shed some light on the subject.
    Also agree with one guy earlier asking about equality lol seriously, women can be catty a holes too, and they MEAN to do it! But you have to look past all that and do what YOU need to do. No one else matters when it comes to your health and self esteem. Its YOUR self esteem, you build or knock it down. You are the one being amazingly resilient to continue to lose weight ! Stay gorgeous ladies (*ahem*... And gents) ;)

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