Friends who don't exercise?
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yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »I remember being a noob. We do not forget those things. I remember benching my very first time at 95 pounds. I also remember being the same weight I am now if not more when I first started lifting when I was 17. Did I feel this pressure others feel going to the gym with the in shape. I have to say I never felt like I was not welcome in a gym. I felt not welcome in a bar which is another story.
I hate generalizations... but I suspect it's different for most men than it is for most women.
I've very often felt very unwelcome in a gym. Not so much in a bar.
So people still laugh at the person who cannot perform to a certain physical level. Is the gym like grade school back when I was five?
As a woman who started going to the gym while in the morbidly obese category, I can say that the gyms I've been to have never felt like grade school. It's always been a warm, pleasant atmosphere where the staff and other gym goers are helpful, especially if you aren't sure what to do. There's tons of stuff that I still can't do and I've never once been made fun of.0 -
it's that some people pretend they will be noticed and laughed at as a convenient, made-up deterrent to trying something new.
so in that respect, it's them pretending that's it's gym like grade school when we were five.-1 -
Wronkletoad wrote: »it's that some people pretend they will be noticed and laughed at as a convenient, made-up deterrent to trying something new.
so in that respect, it's them pretending that's it's gym like grade school when we were five.
You're being rather dismissive and insensitive.
People have all kinds of issues and all kinds of stories. Just because something doesn't affect you doesn't mean it doesn't affect others.
Your attitude of "your issues are in your head and therefore don't exist" is really rude and condescending.
If you've always felt happy and comfortable in a gym, good for you. Not trying to take that away from you.
But recognize that not everyone feels that way, and that the best way to make people stick with an exercise program is to ensure that they have an experience more like @vamaena's when they start visiting a gym, so they don't get turned off or scared away.
Fostering a welcoming gym environment is up to everyone.
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Wronkletoad wrote: »it's that some people pretend they will be noticed and laughed at as a convenient, made-up deterrent to trying something new.
so in that respect, it's them pretending that's it's gym like grade school when we were five.
Ah, okay. I can understand that. There was a point in my life where I had similar thoughts to that. I then realized that it was silly to think that way or to care about what other people thought of me.0 -
I agree with segacs here. I have pretty bad social anxiety and the very idea of a gym - full of people I perceive to be better than me and (in my mind, I know it's probably not true) judging me... is terrifying. Not to mention I've never stepped foot in a gym and wouldn't have the first clue on how to use any of that equipment. I get bad anxiety over not knowing what to do and worse anxiety at the thought of asking for help. Plus my nearest gym has a big open window at the front. You can see everyone inside, and it's right on the highstreet of a city. Being a village girl... yeah, that's intimidating. People say 'oh they're all there to work out too, they won't judge me'. Maybe that's true, but when the average person on the street can see me too? I think I would probably have a panic attack if I went. I'll stick to walking.0
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Wronkletoad wrote: »it's that some people pretend they will be noticed and laughed at as a convenient, made-up deterrent to trying something new.
so in that respect, it's them pretending that's it's gym like grade school when we were five.
You're being rather dismissive and insensitive.
People have all kinds of issues and all kinds of stories. Just because something doesn't affect you doesn't mean it doesn't affect others.
Your attitude of "your issues are in your head and therefore don't exist" is really rude and condescending.
If you've always felt happy and comfortable in a gym, good for you. Not trying to take that away from you.
But recognize that not everyone feels that way, and that the best way to make people stick with an exercise program is to ensure that they have an experience more like @vamaena's when they start visiting a gym, so they don't get turned off or scared away.
Fostering a welcoming gym environment is up to everyone.
I can understand that. It doesn't make sense to me but maybe it does happen. I'm sure the guy I knew in high school was made fun of for not being able to bench the bar. He also wanted to play football which he did all four years of high school. That did not discourage him from getting what he wanted.
OP we had talks and for your goals what if a calorie deficit will not give you the results because heck not every person is the same. What if you realize that fitness will now only get you to your goals quicker but farther then you dreamed. It's actually been a while since we talked so I am not too sure if your goal before still stands as what you want.
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segas -- no. i think you're being obtuse and patronizing. it is not Joe's responsibility to make Bill feel welcome when Joe is doing heavy squats. He stays away from Bill and doesn't hinder Bill.
If Bill feels intimitaded by Joe's weight lifting, that's on Bill, not Joe.
I think your attitude gives us the Lunk Alarm, etc.-2 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »I remember being a noob. We do not forget those things. I remember benching my very first time at 95 pounds. I also remember being the same weight I am now if not more when I first started lifting when I was 17. Did I feel this pressure others feel going to the gym with the in shape. I have to say I never felt like I was not welcome in a gym. I felt not welcome in a bar which is another story.
I hate generalizations... but I suspect it's different for most men than it is for most women.
I've very often felt very unwelcome in a gym. Not so much in a bar.
You clearly haven't tried Planet Fitness. It's a different kind of gym, and kind of a "judgment free zone."0 -
MarziPanda95 wrote: »I agree with segacs here. I have pretty bad social anxiety and the very idea of a gym - full of people I perceive to be better than me and (in my mind, I know it's probably not true) judging me... is terrifying. Not to mention I've never stepped foot in a gym and wouldn't have the first clue on how to use any of that equipment. I get bad anxiety over not knowing what to do and worse anxiety at the thought of asking for help. Plus my nearest gym has a big open window at the front. You can see everyone inside, and it's right on the highstreet of a city. Being a village girl... yeah, that's intimidating. People say 'oh they're all there to work out too, they won't judge me'. Maybe that's true, but when the average person on the street can see me too? I think I would probably have a panic attack if I went. I'll stick to walking.
The average person, at least in the USA, does not exercising so you would already be taking control of your life and health.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »MarziPanda95 wrote: »I agree with segacs here. I have pretty bad social anxiety and the very idea of a gym - full of people I perceive to be better than me and (in my mind, I know it's probably not true) judging me... is terrifying. Not to mention I've never stepped foot in a gym and wouldn't have the first clue on how to use any of that equipment. I get bad anxiety over not knowing what to do and worse anxiety at the thought of asking for help. Plus my nearest gym has a big open window at the front. You can see everyone inside, and it's right on the highstreet of a city. Being a village girl... yeah, that's intimidating. People say 'oh they're all there to work out too, they won't judge me'. Maybe that's true, but when the average person on the street can see me too? I think I would probably have a panic attack if I went. I'll stick to walking.
The average person, at least in the USA, does not exercising so you would already be taking control of your life and health.
I don't live in the US. I live in a city in the UK, quite a young city where many are university students like me. Most are not overweight like I am.0 -
Wronkletoad wrote: »segas -- no. i think you're being obtuse and patronizing. it is not Joe's responsibility to make Bill feel welcome when Joe is doing heavy squats. He stays away from Bill and doesn't hinder Bill.
If Bill feels intimitaded by Joe's weight lifting, that's on Bill, not Joe.
I think your attitude gives us the Lunk Alarm, etc.
So that is where trash planet fitness got the crap from. Oh walk in a see people all shapes doing pull ups and I get discourage right. I cannot do a pull up so I run away from it.
Instead of doing assistance workouts and modify until I can finally do one.
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Just back in to say we were all noobs at one point. And, I'm still new when it comes to certain lifts and movements. There are uncomfortable moments, sure. But you have to remember that you are doing it for yourself and no one else.
And, honestly, no one is thinking about you at the gym. If they are, they aren't working out hard enough. I can't even imagine having the energy to look and judge someone when I'm working hard.0 -
This thread is *still* going?0
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Can I trade places with you, OP? I'd love to be 19 again *and* exercise! At your age I felt like you did, but now I'm hooked. I sometimes imagine how much more I'd do with the extra energy and strength of my teens and 20s. Not trying to convert you, just being wistful. 0
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My 2 cents: I would recommend trying to get more activity in as well as the dieting. The activity also helps in body composition...making the tummy flatter and your body look slimmer overall. I would recommend finding a friend to take a walk with you 3 times a week (that way you are stenthening your relationships--two birds with one stone). I loved walking and gossipping with my girl friend when I was a teenager and lost 20 lbs one summer without even trying because we would take a walk down the street every day. I've been to school and I thought I didn't have time to exercise but looking back, I had plenty of time...if you have time to watch TV, then you have time to do body weight exercises between commercials. P.S. sweat has nothing to do with calorie burns...it is just your body keeping your temperature stable.0
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Wronkletoad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »I just have other priorities other than [...] feeling terrible about my inabilities.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: CONSEQUENCE OF "EVERYBODY GETS A TROPHY" CULTURE!!!!
you do realize that college is a place to push yourself out of your comfort zone and to turn "inabilities" into "abilities"?
but striving to reach mediocrity is a lofty goal if you don't ever wanna "feel terrible about inabilities". claiming you have "different goals" is a neat little mask to try and hide the above, but it's there, QFT.
LOLz.
I've read this entire thread and found this particularly hurtful. I have worked on myself a lot here in college, thank you very much, just not in the field of exercise. I've never gotten a trophy, I've never been a winner, don't say I'm part of this trophy culture you've so eloquently coined. Exercise makes me feel so much worse about myself than I feel on any given day. It makes my depression and social anxiety so much worse. I have inabilities that can't be changed, I know that, there's no point in trying to fix what can't be changed.. Overall, I'm not asking for sympathy, but you don't have to berate me for my choices.0 -
uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »forkofpower wrote: »I don't see why it's that big of a deal. Some people exercise, some people don't -- that's their choice. I, personally, don't "exercise' (as in, put on workout clothes and go to the gym). Though I do walk quite a lot to get around campus/the city, so maybe that counts.
I detest every form of 'hard' exercise. I've tried every sport under the sun, and I can't get into it. I've never, ever experienced that exercise high that everyone seems to talk about. I didn't even feel satisfaction when I broke fitness goals (back when I made myself exercise); I was always just focused on getting out of the gym as soon as possible, and I dreaded the days of the week when I'd have to exercise.
Basically, I just gave up on it a few months ago and I've been feeling a lot happier and more cheerful since.
Maybe one day I'll take it up again when I physically have to, but until then, I'll just stick to eating healthy.
I think what a few of us are noticing is the OP's hiding behind a facade of being too busy and having her time invested into something else. She mentioned a few times that exercise hurts her self-esteem which probably means she did, at some point, try working out and something bad happened.
I just want her to know that she can do things that she isn't comfortable with or good at with a bit of practice and hard work. She needs to learn how to push herself. Exercising will help her improve her fitness goals, which is why she is on this site anyway.
^This
I'm not here to improve my fitness goals, I'm just here to be able to fit into smaller pants. But thank you for being kind and supportive, I appreciate your sentiment.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »I remember being a noob. We do not forget those things. I remember benching my very first time at 95 pounds. I also remember being the same weight I am now if not more when I first started lifting when I was 17. Did I feel this pressure others feel going to the gym with the in shape. I have to say I never felt like I was not welcome in a gym. I felt not welcome in a bar which is another story.
I hate generalizations... but I suspect it's different for most men than it is for most women.
I've very often felt very unwelcome in a gym. Not so much in a bar.
So people still laugh at the person who cannot perform to a certain physical level. Is the gym like grade school back when I was five?
As a woman who started going to the gym while in the morbidly obese category, I can say that the gyms I've been to have never felt like grade school. It's always been a warm, pleasant atmosphere where the staff and other gym goers are helpful, especially if you aren't sure what to do. There's tons of stuff that I still can't do and I've never once been made fun of.
This. Most gym rats love to help other people out. I've been the noob and the gym rat in my life. People who love fitness enjoy interacting with each other. There are some morons but for the most part, someone will come to your aid if you are about to do something crazy or unsafe!0 -
MarziPanda95 wrote: »I agree with segacs here. I have pretty bad social anxiety and the very idea of a gym - full of people I perceive to be better than me and (in my mind, I know it's probably not true) judging me... is terrifying. Not to mention I've never stepped foot in a gym and wouldn't have the first clue on how to use any of that equipment. I get bad anxiety over not knowing what to do and worse anxiety at the thought of asking for help. Plus my nearest gym has a big open window at the front. You can see everyone inside, and it's right on the highstreet of a city. Being a village girl... yeah, that's intimidating. People say 'oh they're all there to work out too, they won't judge me'. Maybe that's true, but when the average person on the street can see me too? I think I would probably have a panic attack if I went. I'll stick to walking.
Hmm I have often wondered WHY the treadmills are in front of huge windows? I get the idea of wanting to look out, but it's the one piece of equipment that while overweight I would avoid. While I have found most gym members very supportive I can just imagine some punk walking by the window and pointing and laughing. They should be mirrored or something! Sorry went off topic. OP, if you don't wanna excercise, don't you may change your mind later. Hope you find the friends in common.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »I just have other priorities other than [...] feeling terrible about my inabilities.
Exercise makes me feel so much worse about myself than I feel on any given day. It makes my depression and social anxiety so much worse. I have inabilities that can't be changed, I know that, there's no point in trying to fix what can't be changed.. Overall, I'm not asking for sympathy, but you don't have to berate me for my choices.
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TBF youve had many people saying the same thing and you choose to home in on one of the few negative posts, which is nothing to do with anyone else.
As ive said in all my posts its completely your choice to do something that works. Your way doesnt have to be everyone elses way.
You say
I'm not here to improve my fitness goals, I'm just here to be able to fit into smaller pants
Which is fine, but we are just pointing out you will fit into them faster and better if you can bring yourself to use exercise.
I can see from your posts you talk about inabilities that cant be changed and you dont think you can ever change. You also talk about social anxiety.
So these are the boring reasons why exercise is good.
1. Health benefits including helping with depression.
2. It will help you lose weight as it burns calories, it cna complelemnt your diet by helping you get to target faster or letting you get to target but allowing you to eat more.
3. In the long term there are serious health benefits, such as increased bone density, better cardio vascular, greater strength, flexibility.
4. If you do some resistance training you will have better shape and tone which will pevent you just being skinny fat, but help you have a better shape and fit into clothes much better.
The cons are it can be a bit time consuming, 30 minutes a day or 3hrs a week.
Some of it can be hard because you have to push yourself to make progress.
Now look at the people who lose hundreds of lbs on the success pages. Most of them use combined diet and exercise. We all start somewhere even if thats with 1lb weights or walking 5 minutes a day. You arent racing anyone just trying to improve yourself, so saying you are unable is just not correct. Its just your mindset that convinces you that you arent able.
You do not have to go to a gym. Most people are interested in themselves only and when they see other people trying to exercise they respect them for trying to improve their situation, so am sure most antu gum feeling is just self consciousness and nobody cares really as they are bothered about themselves.
Walking, swimming, riding a bike, salsa all good forms of exercise because they involve moving and burning calories.
If you have social anxiety and wont overcome them then start off by doing exercise videos from youtube. nobody to see you and you can do it at your own pace. Its just a shame not to look at it before deciding you are unable it cant be changed, because thats all in your head from what youve told us. Its a shame.
If you are going to use diet only then keep it safe and sustainable and accurate logging becomes more essential than ever because you have no other way of protecting your deficit. Good luck.0 -
I don't exercise. I don't believe you have too. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to exercise. We have similar stats. Height: 158cm/5'2 or 5'3, Im not sure how the US system works. SW:60kg/132lb CW:58kg/137.6lb GW:50 kg/110lbmalavika413 wrote: »I'm a 5'3, 145 pound college student looking to be anywhere from 115-125 pounds (whatever looks best). I hate exercise and I don't have the time or energy to work it into my schedule. It seems I'm always surrounded by powerlifters, crossfitters, etc. I'm looking for friends who, like me, don't exercise (for whatever reason).
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I don't exercise. I don't believe you have too. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to exercise. We have similar stats. Height: 158cm/5'2 or 5'3, Im not sure how the US system works. SW:60kg/132lb CW:58kg/137.6lb GW:50 kg/110lbmalavika413 wrote: »I'm a 5'3, 145 pound college student looking to be anywhere from 115-125 pounds (whatever looks best). I hate exercise and I don't have the time or energy to work it into my schedule. It seems I'm always surrounded by powerlifters, crossfitters, etc. I'm looking for friends who, like me, don't exercise (for whatever reason).
Unless one is in a vegetative state, one has the "luxury" of being able to exercise...
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Everyone agrees you dont have to, but you should be aware of the benefits it provides to helping you lose weight and wider health benefits before talking yourself out of doing any. The site is called my FITNESS pal. Calling it a luxury is odd, unless ofc you are physically disabled or have other medical reasons. Walking is a popular form of exercise, which requires no equipment or money.0
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SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »I don't exercise. I don't believe you have too. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to exercise. We have similar stats. Height: 158cm/5'2 or 5'3, Im not sure how the US system works. SW:60kg/132lb CW:58kg/137.6lb GW:50 kg/110lbmalavika413 wrote: »I'm a 5'3, 145 pound college student looking to be anywhere from 115-125 pounds (whatever looks best). I hate exercise and I don't have the time or energy to work it into my schedule. It seems I'm always surrounded by powerlifters, crossfitters, etc. I'm looking for friends who, like me, don't exercise (for whatever reason).
Unless one is in a vegetative state, one has the "luxury" of being able to exercise...
Or if one is disabled.0 -
Edward Lychik would beg to differMarziPanda95 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »I don't exercise. I don't believe you have too. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to exercise. We have similar stats. Height: 158cm/5'2 or 5'3, Im not sure how the US system works. SW:60kg/132lb CW:58kg/137.6lb GW:50 kg/110lbmalavika413 wrote: »I'm a 5'3, 145 pound college student looking to be anywhere from 115-125 pounds (whatever looks best). I hate exercise and I don't have the time or energy to work it into my schedule. It seems I'm always surrounded by powerlifters, crossfitters, etc. I'm looking for friends who, like me, don't exercise (for whatever reason).
Unless one is in a vegetative state, one has the "luxury" of being able to exercise...
Or if one is disabled.
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I don't exercise. I don't believe you have too. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to exercise. We have similar stats. Height: 158cm/5'2 or 5'3, Im not sure how the US system works. SW:60kg/132lb CW:58kg/137.6lb GW:50 kg/110lbmalavika413 wrote: »I'm a 5'3, 145 pound college student looking to be anywhere from 115-125 pounds (whatever looks best). I hate exercise and I don't have the time or energy to work it into my schedule. It seems I'm always surrounded by powerlifters, crossfitters, etc. I'm looking for friends who, like me, don't exercise (for whatever reason).
Luxury to exercise? What's got you so busy?0 -
SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »
Edward Lychik would beg to differMarziPanda95 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »I don't exercise. I don't believe you have too. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to exercise. We have similar stats. Height: 158cm/5'2 or 5'3, Im not sure how the US system works. SW:60kg/132lb CW:58kg/137.6lb GW:50 kg/110lbmalavika413 wrote: »I'm a 5'3, 145 pound college student looking to be anywhere from 115-125 pounds (whatever looks best). I hate exercise and I don't have the time or energy to work it into my schedule. It seems I'm always surrounded by powerlifters, crossfitters, etc. I'm looking for friends who, like me, don't exercise (for whatever reason).
Unless one is in a vegetative state, one has the "luxury" of being able to exercise...
Or if one is disabled.
I meant, y'know, completely paralyzed. I know all about paralympians, I obviously didn't mean them :P0 -
I don't exercise...
I train.0 -
MarziPanda95 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »
Edward Lychik would beg to differMarziPanda95 wrote: »SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »I don't exercise. I don't believe you have too. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to exercise. We have similar stats. Height: 158cm/5'2 or 5'3, Im not sure how the US system works. SW:60kg/132lb CW:58kg/137.6lb GW:50 kg/110lbmalavika413 wrote: »I'm a 5'3, 145 pound college student looking to be anywhere from 115-125 pounds (whatever looks best). I hate exercise and I don't have the time or energy to work it into my schedule. It seems I'm always surrounded by powerlifters, crossfitters, etc. I'm looking for friends who, like me, don't exercise (for whatever reason).
Unless one is in a vegetative state, one has the "luxury" of being able to exercise...
Or if one is disabled.
I meant, y'know, completely paralyzed. I know all about paralympians, I obviously didn't mean them :P
I figured
This guy is particularly awesome - Army vet, knee-up amputee, and a 4:05 marathoner. Just ran NYC... freaking incredible. People like him make it hard for me to buy excuses.
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