Opinion: why do men feel the need to offer advice to me in the weight room?
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uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »Word is the gym used to be a place people socialized about training, share ideas, and have fun. Now apparently everyone who wants to talk to someone else is a sexual creepster. Social anxiety is at its peak in 2014.
When? I've been going to gyms since half the people on MFP were born. I don't remember this. I pretty much remember wanting to work out. If I wanted to be social, I'd take classes.
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This. ^^^juliewatkin wrote: »
Meh. I'm not sure that's true. There's a world of difference between sharing ideas and approaching someone you don't know and offering unsolicited advice. By doing that, you are approaching a (more or less) stranger and telling them they are wrong and you are right. That's it in it's most basic form. I'm not sure why anyone would find that palatable whether you are a man or woman.uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »Word is the gym used to be a place people socialized about training, share ideas, and have fun. Now apparently everyone who wants to talk to someone else is a sexual creepster. Social anxiety is at its peak in 2014.
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Can I just say that I am a bartender in a town of about 50,000 and that three times in the last month random dudes from the gym have said something to me in the gym and then later THE SAME NIGHT showed up at my work? They did ask me out after drinking a bunch of liquid courage, so I'm pretty sure what the intent was. My town isn't THAT small and I'm the admin for our business page, so I'm pretty sure I was located via Facebook. So I'm not saying anything to anyone at the gym period unless they look like they're in high school and can spot me.0
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I lol'ed.
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JeffseekingV wrote: »I have never really had someone correct my form before unless it was as a peer.
I don't deal with being talked down to and I don't deal with correct from complete strangers- so I don't.
But I get pretty comfortable with the regulars- I trust a few certain of them and they trust me- I know they keep an eye out for people and are willing to help as needed under heavy unspotted loads.
I do the same for them.
I do understand these random instances happen- but I mostly just look at them and go- you like what you see? (usually the answer is yes)... and then I say- well clearly what I'm doing is working- which means I don't really need help.
And often times- if you just show up and keep doing the work- they stop realizing your the girl lifting and someone who came to train- and they don't "bother you" they do head nods- and ask if you need a spot- because perhaps you ACTUALLY need it. You become a member of the community- not an oddity.
Work out intently- don't be afraid to tell people you cant' talk b/c you're mid set or you're in the middle of something and just move on. It's not about emotions- it's about getting work done- lay that ground work out- and you'll be good to go.
Girl, no one is going to correct your form when you're lifting more weight than them. haha
Not necessarily true. I had a guy try to correct my form on bent over rows today even though I pull more than he does. He told me I was going to injure my elbow. I laughed it off and explained to him how to avoid injuring himself the next time he tried bent over rows. Then he hit on me, which I totally expected.
Same day, another man tried to help me with removing the 30 pound barbell from a vertical stand. I said "not a problem, I got this" then proceeded to look like an idiot when I couldn't pull it out. He was trying to help me because he knew the stand was bent and the barbell was stuck. I apologized to him, and he went back to doing his thing.
It's really easy to tell the *kitten* from the good guys, and not every guy in the gym is there to hit on you. Some guys are just genuinely nice people.0 -
Since when is d-bags censored?0
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so if someone wants to hit on you, they are automatically not a good guy?
Interesting.0 -
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Besides, I said he was a d-bag, not a bad guy.0
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Deflection. Full image is being rendered.0
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Oh, poo. I wanted real and ugly. I didn't think I'd get it, as people rarely stop to take pics, lol, but you never know! I saw a woman taking a photo of a dead body in the road once... From her car, as we were being re-routed around the scene of an accident. People are nuts!
Heh, take a gander.
That's a sample from a special fx person. So that's not real, which is why it's so clean, and exhibits an extremely low level of trauma. However, this happens. Particularly possible during rock climbing as well.
Thanks for the pic, though!
Obviously, my "Wear a wedding ring" was bad advice, indeed. (I don't lift.) 0 -
This!!!Some guys commented on how I should do a lift today. I actually appreciated it. The only problem is I probably would not know bad advise from good advise.
Some guy told me not to use a certain machine because it would make my boobs stick out like "torpedoes." I was like, "Thanks..."
However, I wondered immediately if he knew what the hell he was talking about or not. I decided to avoid the machine on the off chance that he was right, because I do not want any sort of torpedo action. But I STILL don't know if the guy was an idiot or not.
If you don't know what you're doing, you can't tell bad advice from good. You have to judge the person giving it. My guy could've gone either way, lol. Smart about machines and helpful or total idiot. Wasn't sure!
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This!!!Some guys commented on how I should do a lift today. I actually appreciated it. The only problem is I probably would not know bad advise from good advise.
Some guy told me not to use a certain machine because it would make my boobs stick out like "torpedoes." I was like, "Thanks..."
However, I wondered immediately if he knew what the hell he was talking about or not. I decided to avoid the machine on the off chance that he was right, because I do not want any sort of torpedo action. But I STILL don't know if the guy was an idiot or not.
If you don't know what you're doing, you can't tell bad advice from good. You have to judge the person giving it. My guy could've gone either way, lol. Smart about machines and helpful or total idiot. Wasn't sure!
I'm just going to put this out there. Not scientific or anything.
Mammary tissue doesn't react to weight lifting. Ain't nothing going to torpedo that didn't already torpedo.
Pectoralis muscles tend to become rectangular when they grow, and that's under mammary tissue. The best you can hope for is your boobs will perk up a little from the oomph underneath.
I'm going to go back to performing rocket surgery now.0 -
This!!!Some guys commented on how I should do a lift today. I actually appreciated it. The only problem is I probably would not know bad advise from good advise.
Some guy told me not to use a certain machine because it would make my boobs stick out like "torpedoes." I was like, "Thanks..."
However, I wondered immediately if he knew what the hell he was talking about or not. I decided to avoid the machine on the off chance that he was right, because I do not want any sort of torpedo action. But I STILL don't know if the guy was an idiot or not.
If you don't know what you're doing, you can't tell bad advice from good. You have to judge the person giving it. My guy could've gone either way, lol. Smart about machines and helpful or total idiot. Wasn't sure!
:disagree: I think I'd have the exact opposite reaction and ask why he thought it was okay to tell me what to do based off what he thinks my body would do. It's none of his business and unless I'm going to injure myself - that kind of opinion is not wanted from me.
Also- just do you know, breasts are fat tissue. No amount of exercise will make them "stick out like torpedoes" unless they already stick out like torpedoes. Then they'll just be perkier, maybe slightly smaller, torpedoes!
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I am familiar with both breasts and the underlying muscles, which is why I immediately thought the guy might be an idiot, lol.xsmilexforxmex wrote: »
This!!!Some guys commented on how I should do a lift today. I actually appreciated it. The only problem is I probably would not know bad advise from good advise.
Some guy told me not to use a certain machine because it would make my boobs stick out like "torpedoes." I was like, "Thanks..."
However, I wondered immediately if he knew what the hell he was talking about or not. I decided to avoid the machine on the off chance that he was right, because I do not want any sort of torpedo action. But I STILL don't know if the guy was an idiot or not.
If you don't know what you're doing, you can't tell bad advice from good. You have to judge the person giving it. My guy could've gone either way, lol. Smart about machines and helpful or total idiot. Wasn't sure!
:disagree: I think I'd have the exact opposite reaction and ask why he thought it was okay to tell me what to do based off what he thinks my body would do. It's none of his business and unless I'm going to injure myself - that kind of opinion is not wanted from me.
Also- just do you know, breasts are fat tissue. No amount of exercise will make them "stick out like torpedoes" unless they already stick out like torpedoes. Then they'll just be perkier, maybe slightly smaller, torpedoes!
But I do not really need to strengthen my chest, anyway. The girls are not small and aren't getting a whole lot smaller as I lose, sadly.
I've heard women say their chest perked up after doing weights before. I don't want even the tiniest bit off addition to that area. If I didn't know the risks involved with any surgery, I'd have them reduced.
The real point is that when you don't know how to do something, you won't know good advice from bad, KWIM?
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