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I grant then ruin someone's wish...

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  • pierportbeach
    pierportbeach Posts: 647 Member
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    @moyen2 granted. But you don't think much at all. You babble and drool and stare into space.

    I wish my eyes weren't tired
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    pierportbeach wrote: »
    @moyen2 granted. But you don't think much at all. You babble and drool and stare into space.

    I wish my eyes weren't tired

    Granted. Your eyes aren't tired. They're NEVER tired. Sleep is impossible and because of the deprivation, you hallucinate wildly. Every waking moment is filled with visions of demons and goblins picking at your innards while you try to claw and scratch them off of you. You resort to gouging your eyes out but they've become so strong that the knitting needles just protrude from then like antenna. You're a hit at diner parties though.

    I wish that didn't make me giggle.
  • dozensofthreads
    dozensofthreads Posts: 139 Member
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    jaymvita wrote: »
    pierportbeach wrote: »
    @moyen2 granted. But you don't think much at all. You babble and drool and stare into space.

    I wish my eyes weren't tired

    Granted. Your eyes aren't tired. They're NEVER tired. Sleep is impossible and because of the deprivation, you hallucinate wildly. Every waking moment is filled with visions of demons and goblins picking at your innards while you try to claw and scratch them off of you. You resort to gouging your eyes out but they've become so strong that the knitting needles just protrude from then like antenna. You're a hit at diner parties though.

    I wish that didn't make me giggle.

    Granted, but you now have no joy in your life and cannot laugh at anything anymore, you poor lobotomized beast, you.

    I wish I could file my taxes already.
  • pierportbeach
    pierportbeach Posts: 647 Member
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    @dozensofthreads I wish I could file my taxes already.
    Granted. But alas you've raised the suspicions of the IRS who set up shop in your home/office for months to audit you. The auditor is so dedicated he doesn't shower or change his clothes and he eats liverwurst onion and Limburger cheese on garlic bagels every day for lunch. You find crumbs of his sandwich on your underwear drawer.

    I wish I had a kitchen stocked with healthy food
  • taylortaylorgb
    taylortaylorgb Posts: 303 Member
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    Granted. Unfortunately with all that health food you have no room for nuisances like appliances or dishware, and no way to prepare any of it.

    I wish I had a masseuse on tap.
  • just_silk
    just_silk Posts: 105 Member
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    Granted, unfortunately your tap is rusty and you also need a plumber.

    I wish I lived in a cabin in the woods.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    just_silk wrote: »
    Granted, unfortunately your tap is rusty and you also need a plumber.

    I wish I lived in a cabin in the woods.

    Granted. You're the Unabomber. And that turned out great didn't it?

    I wish I was in Dixie
  • Iguessicandothis
    Iguessicandothis Posts: 2,132 Member
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    jaymvita wrote: »
    just_silk wrote: »
    Granted, unfortunately your tap is rusty and you also need a plumber.

    I wish I lived in a cabin in the woods.

    Granted. You're the Unabomber. And that turned out great didn't it?

    I wish I was in Dixie

    Granted. You are teeny-tiny and you live in a Dixie cup. And someone is about to take a drink...

    I wish I was on a beach right now.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    moyen2 wrote: »
    jaymvita wrote: »
    just_silk wrote: »
    Granted, unfortunately your tap is rusty and you also need a plumber.

    I wish I lived in a cabin in the woods.

    Granted. You're the Unabomber. And that turned out great didn't it?

    I wish I was in Dixie

    Granted. You are teeny-tiny and you live in a Dixie cup. And someone is about to take a drink...

    I wish I was on a beach right now.

    Granted. After swimming about leisurely in the ocean, you lose your way and beach yourself on the sand. The humans on the beach rush to try and push your whale self back into the water to no avail. The sun is lovely ... As it dries you to a smelly husk. But your tan is on point.

    I wish I had two more wishes.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
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    Granted, but it's all wishful thinking.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    I wish I knew what to do next ...
  • Iguessicandothis
    Iguessicandothis Posts: 2,132 Member
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    Granted. You need to pee.
    I wish my wineglass was full.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    moyen2 wrote: »
    Granted. You need to pee.
    I wish my wineglass was full.
    Granted. Guess where I peed.

    I wish you hadn't just chugged that.
  • Iguessicandothis
    Iguessicandothis Posts: 2,132 Member
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    Granted. And thank you! I didn't chug "that". Instead, I chugged back all the delicious wine you have in your house.

    I wish I could find a winter coat within my budget.
  • pierportbeach
    pierportbeach Posts: 647 Member
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    Granted. You peed all over yourself during as you were auditioning for the role of your lifetime now you see relegated to washing dishes the rest of your life.

    I wish I wrote in a journal for 30 minutes a day
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    moyen2 wrote: »
    Granted. And thank you! I didn't chug "that". Instead, I chugged back all the delicious wine you have in your house.

    I wish I could find a winter coat within my budget.

    Granted. But the recent economic downturn has brought your budget way down. Your winter coat is Sea Foam Green by Behr Paint. But you only have enough to cover half of you so choose wisely.

    I wish quinoa was spelled the way it sounded.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    pierportbeach wrote: »
    Granted. You peed all over yourself during as you were auditioning for the role of your lifetime now you see relegated to washing dishes the rest of your life.

    I wish I wrote in a journal for 30 minutes a day

    Granted. However, you live life in extreme slow motion. So in 30 minutes, you write out a single letter. It then takes you hours to close the journal and go to bed, by which time it's time to go back to the journal and write out another single letter.

    You miss sleep.

    I wish Drawing with Friends was still a thing.
  • jbuzzed
    jbuzzed Posts: 10,172 Member
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    Granted but every drawing you make, a friend will die

    I wish I was taller
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    jsummd wrote: »
    Granted but every drawing you make, a friend will die

    I wish I was taller

    Granted. You are also a baller. And you have a girl so you should call her. Unfortunately, the increased height doesn't allow the blood to reach your brain so you're a vegetable. A tall vegetable.

    I wish someone out there recognized hat musical reference.
  • pierportbeach
    pierportbeach Posts: 647 Member
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    @jaymvita someone recognized your "hat" musical reference. Every minute hundreds and hundreds of hats arrive at your door. New used dirty women's men's hats hats hats. Drives you insane.

    I wish I could pray with Pope Francis

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