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I grant then ruin someone's wish...
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Granted but your imperfections become your strengths and everything else becomes your imperfections.
I wish I was normal.0 -
Granted. But everybody knows that normal is boring, and now nobody wants to talk to you because of how boring you are.
I wish I got paid to play video games all day.0 -
Granted by you have to actually live in the video game.
I wish I had long hair.0 -
Granted by you have to actually live in the video game.
I wish I had long hair.
Granted, but your hair is so long because you're locked in a tower, and you need it for your Prince Charming to climb to your rescue. Unfortunately, due to a mugging, your Prince Charming us now blind and laying in the hospital with total amnesia.
I wish people weren't so crude and obnoxious.0 -
Granted by you have to actually live in the video game.
I wish I had long hair.
Granted, but your hair is so long because you're locked in a tower, and you need it for your Prince Charming to climb to your rescue. Unfortunately, due to a mugging, your Prince Charming us now blind and laying in the hospital with total amnesia.
I wish people weren't so crude and obnoxious.
Granted, but now, you are a societal pariah. People are obligated to ignore you completely. You are not to be spoken to, looked at directly or even remotely acknowledged. You cease to exist. The ensuing loneliness and isolation drive you mad within days. You gnaw your limbs off and wind up a bloody stump rocking back and forth in the middle of the street. People secretly refer to you as "Mat".
I wish I was the chosen one.0 -
Granted. You've been chosen as a human sacrifice and will now die a gruesome death.
I wish I could talk to animals.0 -
Granted, but you no longer understand human language.
I wish I could snap my fingers and be at my goal weight.0 -
Granted. You've been chosen as a human sacrifice and will now die a gruesome death.
I wish I could talk to animals.
Granted. You can talk to animals. But you only know the curse words. Every animal on earth finds you rude and insensitive and take turns smacking you around to learn you some manners. Your plaintive cries for mercy only come out as crude momma jokes which brings on more beat down. Dr. Doolittle you are not.
I wish it didn't hurt when I bend it this way.0 -
dozensofthreads wrote: »Granted, but you no longer understand human language.
I wish I could snap my fingers and be at my goal weight.
Granted. Every time you snap your fingers, a body part falls off. In your zeal, you snapped your fingers five times quickly. Your friends now call you Stumpy.
I wish I knew how to quit you.0 -
dozensofthreads wrote: »Granted, but you no longer understand human language.
I wish I could snap my fingers and be at my goal weight.
Granted. Only your fingers are too sweaty to snap properly, so you can never quite get it right.
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Granted -- you're a prisoner in maximum security
I wish I would publish a famous literary novel0 -
dozensofthreads wrote: »Granted, but you no longer understand human language.
I wish I could snap my fingers and be at my goal weight.
Granted. Every time you snap your fingers, a body part falls off. In your zeal, you snapped your fingers five times quickly. Your friends now call you Stumpy.
I wish I knew how to quit you.
LMFAO OH MY GOD
Granted, but in quitting me, you also forget every single movie quote you've ever memorized and used as a joke, therefore being rendered obsolete among your pop culture centered friends and family.
I wish I had an extra day between Saturday and Sunday.0 -
Granted. You've been chosen as a human sacrifice and will now die a gruesome death.
I wish I could talk to animals.
Granted. You can talk to animals. But you only know the curse words. Every animal on earth finds you rude and insensitive and take turns smacking you around to learn you some manners. Your plaintive cries for mercy only come out as crude momma jokes which brings on more beat down. Dr. Doolittle you are not.
I wish it didn't hurt when I bend it this way.
Granted, but it now hurts every time you're not bending so you have to remain in that bent position permanently.
I wish I had perfect teeth.0 -
pierportbeach wrote: »Granted -- you're a prisoner in maximum security
I wish I would publish a famous literary novel
Granted. But it's a Penthouse Forums "novel" whose pages are laminated. And your parents just asked you for a signed copy. Good luck with that.
I wish I didn't just think of that.0 -
dozensofthreads wrote: »Granted, but you no longer understand human language.
I wish I could snap my fingers and be at my goal weight.
Granted. Only your fingers are too sweaty to snap properly, so you can never quite get it right.
Ewwww
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pierportbeach wrote: »Granted -- you're a prisoner in maximum security
I wish I would publish a famous literary novel
Granted. But it's a Penthouse Forums "novel" whose pages are laminated. And your parents just asked you for a signed copy. Good luck with that.
I wish I didn't just think of that.
Granted, but your mind is now an endless void.
I wish I could fall asleep right now.
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pierportbeach wrote: »Granted -- you're a prisoner in maximum security
I wish I would publish a famous literary novel
Granted. But it's a Penthouse Forums "novel" whose pages are laminated. And your parents just asked you for a signed copy. Good luck with that.
I wish I didn't just think of that.
Granted, you didn't. What you actually thought of was your parents publishing that novel and reading it to you as a bedtime story every night.
I wish I could fly.0 -
Granted. You've been chosen as a human sacrifice and will now die a gruesome death.
I wish I could talk to animals.
Granted. You can talk to animals. But you only know the curse words. Every animal on earth finds you rude and insensitive and take turns smacking you around to learn you some manners. Your plaintive cries for mercy only come out as crude momma jokes which brings on more beat down. Dr. Doolittle you are not.
I wish it didn't hurt when I bend it this way.
Granted, but it now hurts every time you're not bending so you have to remain in that bent position permanently.
I wish I had perfect teeth.
Granted. You have the perfect teeth of the trespasser you just slaughtered. As chief protector of your caniballistic tribe, you are charged with safeguarding your village. Those perfect teeth make a dashing necklace that earns you first dibs on "trespasser soup". Bon appetit!
I wish I didn't just throw up a little in my mouth.0 -
Granted. You've been chosen as a human sacrifice and will now die a gruesome death.
I wish I could talk to animals.
Granted. You can talk to animals. But you only know the curse words. Every animal on earth finds you rude and insensitive and take turns smacking you around to learn you some manners. Your plaintive cries for mercy only come out as crude momma jokes which brings on more beat down. Dr. Doolittle you are not.
I wish it didn't hurt when I bend it this way.
Granted, but it now hurts every time you're not bending so you have to remain in that bent position permanently.
I wish I had perfect teeth.
Granted. You have the perfect teeth of the trespasser you just slaughtered. As chief protector of your caniballistic tribe, you are charged with safeguarding your village. Those perfect teeth make a dashing necklace that earns you first dibs on "trespasser soup". Bon appetit!
I wish I didn't just throw up a little in my mouth.
Granted. You didn't just throw up in your mouth, you threw up throughout your entire body. Now your pores ooze puke and you cry vomit tears.
I wish I had some chocolate icecream right now.0 -
@dozensofthreads your wish is granted but now your dreams are laden with nightmares of little toddlers running around the room with scissors naked and cutting each other's hair off.
I wish I was having sex right now with a smart beautiful funny woman0
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