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I grant then ruin someone's wish...

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  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
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    Granted: but now mom won't shut up about Melissa Rivers. Any better off?

    Wish: I had a square to spare
  • AZTallguy
    AZTallguy Posts: 154 Member
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    Granted. You now have an endless supply of TP stuck to your hand that you can never put down.

    I wish I could scuba dive without being afraid of sharks.
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
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    granted but that doesnt stop them from eating you anyway!!

    I wish i was tough enough to punch a lion in the FACE!!
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,452 Member
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    Granted..you punch a lion in the face but he eats you afterwards
    I wish I was president
  • MaxPower0102
    MaxPower0102 Posts: 2,654 Member
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    Granted.... you are JFK and today is 11/22/63

    I wish I was at my Goal Weight
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
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    Granted, you have reached your goal weight, however you have a severe case of anorexia and can't stop loosing weight.

    I wish I didn't have to work this week.
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    You don't, you choked on breakfast, now you are dead. RIP

    I wish it was warmer outside.
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
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    Granted, we now have eternal 130F every day all the time. Everyone now is a nudist to avoid the heat. Happy! I think not. Unless they all look like Jay.

    I wish I could get these taxes finished today.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
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    Granted: but what is taxing you physically & mentally is being responsible for every child in your neighborhood. A bunch of rowdy rug rats, they are! Tearing your place apart. Here, take this aspirin.

    Wish: the silencing of the lambs
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    edited February 2015
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    Cindy4FunFit wrote: »
    Granted: but what is taxing you physically & mentally is being responsible for every child in your neighborhood. A bunch of rowdy rug rats, they are! Tearing your place apart. Here, take this aspirin.

    Wish: the silencing of the lambs

    Granted, you've silenced the bleating but now all the lambs are bleeding ... Constantly ... And from every orifice. And they are looking to you for help since you took away their ability to cry out. Your floors are a mess. You're psyche is also now slightly damaged by the knowledge of your destructive wishing.

    When will you learn.

    I wish she'd learn already.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    edited February 2015
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    What a bloody mess, Jay. You did this to me.

    Granted: I learn how to be an expert at breaking & entering. I just cleaned your house out. Nice stuff. Mine now.

    Wish: we could burn holes in the carpet (once we crash the party).
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
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    Granted, you are hot, hot, hot and you burn holes not only through the carpet but through the floor as well. Everything you touch turns to ash.

    I wish I was born rich.
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
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    Granted, you are born rich - too bad it is play money.

    I wish I had a candy bar.
  • tibo1783
    tibo1783 Posts: 2,474 Member
    edited February 2015
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    Granted you have the chocolate covered cockroach enjoy

    I wish I was Optimus Prime
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    tibo1783 wrote: »
    Granted you have the chocolate covered cockroach enjoy

    I wish I was Optimus Prime

    Granted but this time Hot Rod kept the Matrix of Leadership instead of giving it back to you so you remain a cold slab of scrap metal which the Junkions gladly pick over to make into jewelry. In his despotic fever, he keeps your head and turns it into a war helmet when he begins his takeover of Planet Earth.

    I wish I didn't just reveal what a huge nerd I am.
  • Lissa_Kaye
    Lissa_Kaye Posts: 214 Member
    edited February 2015
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    Granted, but you just lost half your mental capacity becoming just like everyone else.
    I wish money grew on trees.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
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    Granted, but it's all pennies.

    I wish my hair would stay dry when I swim
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
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    Granted, you are now hairless - works doesn't it?

    I wish someone would shovel my driveway so I would have more forum time before work.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
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    Granted: the novice snow shoveler pitched out the snow but also your amazing pavers. You are left with a pot filled, uneven dirt driveway. All your heels are ruined. Time to shoe shop!

    Wish: this spotlight dance would last forever
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    edited February 2015
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    Cindy4FunFit wrote: »
    Granted: the novice snow shoveler pitched out the snow but also your amazing pavers. You are left with a pot filled, uneven dirt driveway. All your heels are ruined. Time to shoe shop!

    Wish: this spotlight dance would last forever

    Granted, you and your partner are now wearing cursed shoes that command that you dance forever. Try as you might, you can't stop dancing. Hour after hour goes by as your leg muscles cramp and seize, your ankles snap and crack, your feet blister and bleed out of your shoes, your back aches and you both vomit on one another after endless spinning and twirling. Eventually you both die locked in a death spiral dervish turn which, in the right light, is kind of beautiful. Generations will be able to watch your bones and tattered clothing continue this poetic dance of death for eons.

    I wish this morning didn't start off on such a macabre note.

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