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I grant then ruin someone's wish...

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Replies

  • jenmar222
    jenmar222 Posts: 9,271 Member
    edited January 2016
    Granted. But you also forget you are a man. So you spend the day picking out B-cup bras, buying tampons, and getting a manicure. And you crush on Chris Pratt and ask everyone to call you @Jaynemvita

    I'm reposting this once, since I got skipped...

    I wish I was married to Jaun Mata (soccer player)

    yk4evckwosry.jpg
  • AshleyC1023
    AshleyC1023 Posts: 272 Member
    Granted, you're now married to Juan Mata, but you find out that he's a real *kitten* and womanizer. Not only is he gone all the time, but he's controlling and an ego maniac, who thinks women belong in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. The best exchange you can hope for with him is "make me a sammich".
    (God that's cruel, sorry)

    I wish my husband would come home early from his work trip.

  • marcelo_templario
    marcelo_templario Posts: 653 Member
    Granted.

    But just to find out he's flunking a divorce letter on the table to run away with his 18 year-old mistress.

    I wish I could play the piano as a master.
  • AshleyC1023
    AshleyC1023 Posts: 272 Member
    LOL! Cruel. :)
    Granted, you can now play piano like Bach, however, every other mental skill has been deleted from your brain and you have difficulty tying your shoes, feeding yourself, and have to wear adult diapers and have a 24 hour caretaker.

    I wish the laundry would do itself.

  • zcb94
    zcb94 Posts: 3,678 Member
    Granted. It still takes forever by itself, though.
    I wish I could live without all this pain all over my body.
  • just_silk
    just_silk Posts: 105 Member
    Granted but now you can't feel anything at all. No physical, mental or emotional sensation can reach you and you are a tragic void of emptiness.

    I wish I could grant wishes for real and not have to ruin them.
  • Raykels
    Raykels Posts: 123 Member
    Granted, but you've got hearing impairment so always grant them slightly wrong which ruins them.

    I wish I was pretty.
  • marcelo_templario
    marcelo_templario Posts: 653 Member
    edited January 2016
    Granted...wait..somebody already granted you that...probably your mom...but.... You gonna attract a ton of buff airhead douche....bags...

    I wish I could heal people.
  • Raykels
    Raykels Posts: 123 Member
    thank you, but i obviously disagree lol :-)

    Granted, but everytime you heal someone a kitten dies
  • DiviturLabimur
    DiviturLabimur Posts: 768 Member
    You didn't wish
    I wish I could time travel
  • marcelo_templario
    marcelo_templario Posts: 653 Member
    Granted...you'd travel without knowing where you'd get, like the ice age and die.

    I wish I could read and speak any language in the world.
  • AshleyC1023
    AshleyC1023 Posts: 272 Member
    Granted, you can now read and speak any language in the world. However, you become agoraphobic and never leave your house again.

    I wish I didn't sweat like a hooker in church at the gym.
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    Granted but that world is Mars and it's empty


    I wish I could retire
  • DiviturLabimur
    DiviturLabimur Posts: 768 Member
    Granted, but you die of boredom

    I wish I could control the weather
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
    granted but it's only over you

    The rest of the world still suffers

    I wish I fire lightening bolts
  • AshleyC1023
    AshleyC1023 Posts: 272 Member
    Granted, you can now fire lightning bolts, but the ability ruins your sex life due to untimely lightning bolts.

    I wish that candy wasn't so f'ing bad for you!
  • just_silk
    just_silk Posts: 105 Member
    Granted, but it now tastes like celery so what was the point?

    I wish my hair didn't take so long to dry.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    Granted, it dries in a minute, but it's all matted.

    I wish, my face wasn't black and blue
  • bdgfn
    bdgfn Posts: 7,719 Member
    Granted, but now the rest of your body is.

    I wish I was 20 years younger.
  • just_silk
    just_silk Posts: 105 Member
    Granted but now you've gone full Benjamin button and will soon become a man baby.

    I wish someone would bring me some chocolate.
  • AshleyC1023
    AshleyC1023 Posts: 272 Member
    Granted, someone brings you chocolate, but it's 90% cacao and bitter as hell.

    I wish my toddler would share the bed, since she sleeps with me while Dad is gone.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    Granted, but now you're divorced

    I wish I could have a hamburger
  • AshleyC1023
    AshleyC1023 Posts: 272 Member
    Granted, you get your burger, but the calorie count is through the roof and you gain 10 lbs from it.

    I wish we weren't having weird weather in TX and that this cold crap would just go away already.
  • zcb94
    zcb94 Posts: 3,678 Member
    AClark1023 wrote: »
    Granted, you get your burger, but the calorie count is through the roof and you gain 10 lbs from it.

    I wish we weren't having weird weather in TX and that this cold crap would just go away already.
    (Me too!) Granted, and (sarcasm ahead) thanks a lot! It's now extremely hot here. Whew!
    I wish my nose would quit running!
  • 00EmilyJo00
    00EmilyJo00 Posts: 64 Member
    Granted, when the heat comes it dries up all of the water sources and you are dying of dehydration.

    I wish I could have an army jeep.
  • bdgfn
    bdgfn Posts: 7,719 Member
    edited January 2016
    zcb94 wrote: »
    Granted, and (sarcasm ahead) thanks a lot! It's now extremely hot here. Whew!
    I wish my nose would quit running!

    Granted, but now all of that stuff is stuck in your sinuses and it is very painful!

    I wish the elections in the US were already over!


  • BigChangeNeeded
    BigChangeNeeded Posts: 671 Member
    Granted. But you have Trump as President. ARRRRRRRGGGGH!!


    I wish I could get a job that would pay all my bills and leave me money left over at the end.
  • just_silk
    just_silk Posts: 105 Member
    Granted but you must work every hour of every day forever and you never get time to spend any money.

    I wish I just hadn't seen the all time wedgie on TV. I cringed so much I hurt hurt my brain.
  • AshleyC1023
    AshleyC1023 Posts: 272 Member
    edited January 2016
    00EmilyJo00 wrote: »
    Granted, when the heat comes it dries up all of the water sources and you are dying of dehydration.

    I wish I could have an army jeep.

    Nothing new there, I live in the desert.

    Granted, but you realize that you can't find parts and it breaks down constantly.

    I wish I wasn't tired today.
  • srv524
    srv524 Posts: 1,363 Member
    Granted but then you'd be forced to stay awake during a "The View" marathon.

    I wish I could play with boobies all day.
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