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I grant then ruin someone's wish...

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Replies

  • HugoMartinez66
    HugoMartinez66 Posts: 257 Member
    edited January 2016
    Granted but it is going to be the hottest thing that you've ever had and will loose your sense of taste for the next 2 months.

    I wish I has some body around to practice my boxing with.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    HugoMartinez66 wrote: »
    Granted but it is going to be the hottest thing that you've ever had and will loose your sense of taste for the next 2 months.

    I wish I has some body around to practice my boxing with.

    Granted. Mike Tyson is your practice partner and together you master the art of boxing groceries to the point where you qualify for the world grocery boxing championships. You lose. But hey you qualified. So there's that.

    I wish people would stop using the term "Hoverboard" for this handle-free Segways...
  • just_silk
    just_silk Posts: 105 Member
    jaymvita wrote: »

    I wish people would stop using the term "Hoverboard" for this handle-free Segways...

    Granted. But they now call it the Awesome Mobile and it becomes mandatory that everyone ride one.

    I wish there was a nice big window in my office.

  • jbuzzed
    jbuzzed Posts: 10,172 Member
    Granted but it's painted over with black paint

    I wish I had a never empty coffee cup
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    edited January 2016
    Granted. You have a neverending case of caffeine nerves

    I wish I could pay off my Discover bill
  • jbuzzed
    jbuzzed Posts: 10,172 Member
    Granted, it's paid off with VISA and now you have a VISA bill

    I wish was on a tropical beach
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: you are now stranded on a 5' by 5' tropical island that will be swallowed by the tide for 5 hours until the tide goes out; how long can you hold your breath? Good luck!

    Wish she had scuba gear.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    Cindy4FunFit wrote: »
    Granted: you are now stranded on a 5' by 5' tropical island that will be swallowed by the tide for 5 hours until the tide goes out; how long can you hold your breath? Good luck!

    Wish she had scuba gear.

    Granted. She's got scuba gear and a raging case of claustrophobia as well as an insane water allergy so even if she does it make it off that island ... She's not gonna make it off that island.

    I wish you hadn't put your face all over that scuba gear you designed. The PR is gonna be hell.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    jaymvita wrote: »
    Cindy4FunFit wrote: »
    Granted: you are now stranded on a 5' by 5' tropical island that will be swallowed by the tide for 5 hours until the tide goes out; how long can you hold your breath? Good luck!

    Wish she had scuba gear.

    Granted. She's got scuba gear and a raging case of claustrophobia as well as an insane water allergy so even if she does it make it off that island ... She's not gonna make it off that island.

    I wish you hadn't put your face all over that scuba gear you designed. The PR is gonna be hell.

    Granted: used your abs as the logo. PR requires you to sell them door-to-door, shirtless. Have you seen those new hover boards? You have to ride one during. Hover board.

    Wish Jay had more time to go door-to-door
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    Cindy4FunFit wrote: »
    jaymvita wrote: »
    Cindy4FunFit wrote: »
    Granted: you are now stranded on a 5' by 5' tropical island that will be swallowed by the tide for 5 hours until the tide goes out; how long can you hold your breath? Good luck!

    Wish she had scuba gear.

    Granted. She's got scuba gear and a raging case of claustrophobia as well as an insane water allergy so even if she does it make it off that island ... She's not gonna make it off that island.

    I wish you hadn't put your face all over that scuba gear you designed. The PR is gonna be hell.

    Granted: used your abs as the logo. PR requires you to sell them door-to-door, shirtless. Have you seen those new hover boards? You have to ride one during. Hover board.

    Wish Jay had more time to go door-to-door

    Granted. I invent an actual Hoverboard, equip it with a flux capacitor, accelerate to 88mph, and rip a hole in space time through which I can travel through time with ease. The resulting riches from my inventions drives you mad with jealousy and you wind up a catatonic vegetable, rocking in the corner of a psych hospital repeating only the words "stupid abs" over and over again ... And you wear a diaper. That needs to be changed.

    Like now.

    I wish absolute power didn't corrupt absolutely.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    jaymvita wrote: »
    Cindy4FunFit wrote: »
    jaymvita wrote: »
    Cindy4FunFit wrote: »
    Granted: you are now stranded on a 5' by 5' tropical island that will be swallowed by the tide for 5 hours until the tide goes out; how long can you hold your breath? Good luck!

    Wish she had scuba gear.

    Granted. She's got scuba gear and a raging case of claustrophobia as well as an insane water allergy so even if she does it make it off that island ... She's not gonna make it off that island.

    I wish you hadn't put your face all over that scuba gear you designed. The PR is gonna be hell.

    Granted: used your abs as the logo. PR requires you to sell them door-to-door, shirtless. Have you seen those new hover boards? You have to ride one during. Hover board.

    Wish Jay had more time to go door-to-door

    Granted. I invent an actual Hoverboard, equip it with a flux capacitor, accelerate to 88mph, and rip a hole in space time through which I can travel through time with ease. The resulting riches from my inventions drives you mad with jealousy and you wind up a catatonic vegetable, rocking in the corner of a psych hospital repeating only the words "stupid abs" over and over again ... And you wear a diaper. That needs to be changed.

    Like now.

    I wish absolute power didn't corrupt absolutely.

    Granted: it doesn't anymore, so the balance of power has been thrown cosmically off; there are so many good people with good intentions who hold absolute power now...but Jay...good intentions pave a road to...a bad place. Thanks a lot for ruining everything trying to make it better.

    Wish Jay would leave well enough alone, go ride his hover board.

  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    Granted. I leave everything alone. Unfortunately somehow I am also the lynchpin that keeps the entirety of society in balance. Without me, anarchy reigns. Civilization melts down and you all get blasted back to the Stone Age. Warring tribes fight for territory in the new badlands and you, as a tribal warlord are rapidly losing the confidence of your tribe. A coup is inevitable. And you don't even have a diaper anymore.

    But my Hoverboard is choice.

    I wish I could teleport my pee right into the toilet instead of having to walk over there.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    Was it the pee teleport?

    Is this thing on? *tap tap*
  • Iguessicandothis
    Iguessicandothis Posts: 2,132 Member
    Granted. You can teleport your pee, but everyone else's pee is also teleported into your toilet. It constantly overflows, unless you flush it every 2 minutes. So even though you're not getting up to pee, you're always getting up to flush.

    I wish it was warm outside.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    moyen2 wrote: »
    Granted. You can teleport your pee, but everyone else's pee is also teleported into your toilet. It constantly overflows, unless you flush it every 2 minutes. So even though you're not getting up to pee, you're always getting up to flush.

    I wish it was warm outside.

    Granted. It's a perfect spring day outside! But you've been stuck in that well since you can remember and there's no way you're getting out now. Now it puts the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose again.

    I wish I could remember my lines ...
  • Iguessicandothis
    Iguessicandothis Posts: 2,132 Member
    Granted. Your line is "I do" and you are about to be united in holy matrimony with the most repulsive woman you could ever conceive of. In your drugged state you're not quite sure how you got there, but the reality of the situation is about to sink in.

    I wish my puppy hadn't puked in my bed, requiring me to wash all the bedding and now wait for it to dry before I can go to sleep...
  • dozensofthreads
    dozensofthreads Posts: 139 Member
    moyen2 wrote: »
    Granted. Your line is "I do" and you are about to be united in holy matrimony with the most repulsive woman you could ever conceive of. In your drugged state you're not quite sure how you got there, but the reality of the situation is about to sink in.

    I wish my puppy hadn't puked in my bed, requiring me to wash all the bedding and now wait for it to dry before I can go to sleep...

    Granted; the puppy now pukes only on the tile, but about 5 times a day.

    I wish my boyfriend were at my place instead of his tonight!
  • sparrish531
    sparrish531 Posts: 499 Member
    Granted; but you are teleported to Disneyland

    I wish I could soar like a hawk.
  • just_silk
    just_silk Posts: 105 Member
    Granted. You get one hour of soaring like a hawk but you're too close to the airport and end up sucked through a jet engine..

    I wish I had more time to get ready this morning.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: you have more time...because you are doing time in a Maximum security prison. Your wardrobe is plenty plain though. How long does it take to zip up an orange jumper?

    Wish: Orange was the new Black
  • just_silk
    just_silk Posts: 105 Member
    Granted and now all of those people with super orange tango tans are the new in thing. What have you done?!?

    I wish my jumper had full length sleeves instead of 3/4. My arms are cold.
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
    just_silk wrote: »
    Granted and now all of those people with super orange tango tans are the new in thing. What have you done?!?

    I wish my jumper had full length sleeves instead of 3/4. My arms are cold.

    Granted. Your arms have shrunk by a 1/4. Your friends now call you T-Rex. Watching you try to clap is comedy gold.

    I wish I could stop laughing long enough to finish typ...
  • Nanogg55
    Nanogg55 Posts: 275 Member
    Granted. Instead of laughing you will now fart uncontrollably every time you are amused.

    Wish my feet weren't so cold.
  • Iguessicandothis
    Iguessicandothis Posts: 2,132 Member
    Granted. You've just walked barefoot through red-hot coals.

    I wish there were more episodes of "The 100" for me to watch.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • Iguessicandothis
    Iguessicandothis Posts: 2,132 Member
    Granted. But nobody responds to your awesome threads.

    I wish I didn't have to walk to the gym
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Granted: you have to crawl. And do burpees. Go, girl.

    Wish: there was not so much traffic for her to dodge along the way.
  • just_silk
    just_silk Posts: 105 Member
    Granted but now there is just you, slowly walking in front and having burpees coming at you but being unable to step aside.

    I wish I could get the song "I just can't get enough" out of my head.
  • brittuhnay
    brittuhnay Posts: 350 Member
    Granted, but then you have your most hated song stuck in your head instead.

    I wish I didn't run out of waffles this morning
  • HappilyDistracted
    HappilyDistracted Posts: 1,700 Member
    Granted: but now whatever you have for breakfast turns into waffles. Hope you like waffles for the rest of your life :smile:

    I wish I had a teleportation device and could time travel.

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