We broke up because...
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Was celibate0
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Lied too much
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Disappeared with our furniture0
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Disappeared with the furniture delivery guys0
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Seemed to like the new swing a little too much0
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She moved too fast.0
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he moved too slow0
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started hoarding plastic spoons and outdated calendars0
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She drank all the coffee.0
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Caught him wearing my panties0
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all she wanted to wear is panties - made going out extremely uncomfortable0
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She didn't support my dreams of moving to a nudist colony0
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She wanted to be Nude in our back yard which was infested with ant colonies!0
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We had ants because she didn't keep the house clean0
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She sat on the couch watching Soaps all day while I worked three jobs!0
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kept bringing home discarded furniture - no place to walk because of the cluster of chairs0
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Wouldnt play musical chairs with me!0
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She kept me tied to the chairs so she could sit on my lap0
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She'd never hold me!0
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was soooooooo clingy - I just needed to not to feel like a Siamese twin0
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She tried to take my Cat to the pound!
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She has a Siamese twin, I'm cool with a threesome but that was just too awkward. Never knew which one I was talking to.0
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was always talking to herself and then getting mad when I didn't respond0
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She didn't believe I had an Imaginary friend!0
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Her imaginary friend gave her rug burn0
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She didnt believe me when I told her that I slipped!0
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Caught her texting other lovers -- she said they were all her imaginary friends.0
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We had too many arguments over the radio station on our cross-country road trip.0
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Her cross country trip was centered around stopping at every strip club we saw0
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We needed gas Money!!!0
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