We broke up because...

FabulousFantasticFifty

She hated the Tree Hugger in me and called me a Hippie!

RunHardBeStrong

She took it to the extreme and wouldn't shower for days

g44219

wouldn't save water and shower together

Kvm11628

kept asking me to pick up the soap he dropped

FabulousFantasticFifty

We only had a tub and had to shower with the garden hose!

RunHardBeStrong

Caught her showering with him

Kvm11628

her hose just didn't cut it

g44219

she yanked the hose too hard

RunHardBeStrong

He was worried about other guys' hoses

RunHardBeStrong

He wouldn't let me wear a dress over them. He only wanted me to wear those out...

g44219

discovered she had a web cam show

RunHardBeStrong

(how'd you find out about that?? )

He had cams all over our house and sold them on the black market

Kvm11628

Didn't like extra income

RunHardBeStrong

Her extra money was dirty, always pulling it out of her g-string

Kvm11628

she had a tight hold on the purse strings

CherylNTexas

He was too clingy, it got hard to explain why I was wearing him at work.

RunHardBeStrong

She insisted it was take your kid to work day but I couldn't figure out why she was taking her ex

CherylNTexas

My kids liked my ex better.

g44219

she had too many kids and lived in a shoe

FabulousFantasticFifty

He wouldn't buy us a house!

g44219

She wouldn't build us a house

Sniper_Chick

a tarp over a tree is not a house

Hey_Its_That_One_Guy

Wanted to use my duck for target practice.

RunHardBeStrong

Wouldn't let me cuddle the duck, thought I should only cuddle him

Sniper_Chick

was to clingy

Kvm11628

Had those stupid stick figure clingy stickers in her car. Ugh.

47Jacqueline

Was too judgmental

Sniper_Chick

could appreciate my creativity

RunHardBeStrong

Her creativity only included popsicle stick and coffee filter people

Sniper_Chick

was on Judge Judy for emotional abuse