We broke up because...

jgkoutr

She didn't like my impersonation of Donald trump

Just_J_Now

She was too good at it and the stupid looking hair was the last straw

Mr_Stabbems

She gave me that "your doing the dishes tonight" look and I was out of theeeeere

Unknown

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jgkoutr

Tried my best w hair ...can't help she's so picky w impersonations

jgkoutr

In woods really meant basement ...took foreplay too far

slimgirljo15

She decided girls weren't for her

jgkoutr

Realized i uv girls ...

Unknown

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Mr_Stabbems

Tried to knife me for stealing a slice of cucumber during dinner prep

Just_J_Now

He used my beauty supplies for cooking

jgkoutr

Wouldn't participate in drunk Pilates. Its a thing

Just_J_Now

She didn't even know I was down for drunk anything

Unknown

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nitroalley

I acted too quickly

Mr_Stabbems

Helped him hide the body. It was always a business relationship anyway

Unknown

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nitroalley

lauranorr wrote: »

made everything business not pleasure

Pleasure was her business

jgkoutr

Business unfortunately consisted of smelling arm pits

Mr_Stabbems

She took advantage of me whilst I was rebounding

Just_J_Now

He couldn't get over his ex

Unknown

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slimgirljo15

She...she..ohhh its too awful..Im traumatised

jgkoutr

Her original was in her closet tied up

Unknown

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Mr_Stabbems

She gave 'him' a nickname and all but ignored me.

Unknown

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Just_J_Now

She wouldn't sew something for me

jgkoutr

Had obsession w thread

Mr_Stabbems

I never found out what her name meant!