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We broke up because...
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Only wanted me for my money0
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fronted she had money but we lived in the car0
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Spent too much time working on his car.0
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Gave me the extra finger...wasn't expecting it, so I felt violated0
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Never wanted to try anything new.0
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Brought in a cow to bed...saying she wanted to lick all the nipples. gross!0
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knew bestiality was a hard limit - always pushing the limits0
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Never wanted to go outside his comfort zone.0
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Drank Southern Comfort like it was sweet tea0
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Super judgy about my drinking habits0
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She farted during coitus. I'm the only one allowed to do that.0
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Had to spend all the rent money on air freshener.0
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Tried to summon the dead last night, scared the crap outa me. Had to leave0
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Prejudiced against dead people.0
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She has her "time of the month" on my days off. Not cool yo0
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He had perpetually bad timing.0
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he surprised me by taking days off - woops, caught with my pants down0
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She only had sex when I was away. Saying long distance relationship helped strengthen our relationship. NOT!0
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he was away ALL the time - once a year ain't going to cut it.0
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She was two-timing me. I can't stand when my mistresses do that!0
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