We broke up because...
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This content has been removed.
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He didn't have a safe word0
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She cracked into my safe and stole my priceless Faberge jelly beans.1
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He would share his "priceless" jelly beans0
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She gave me the Vulcan neck pinch.0
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He screamed like a girl0
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She wasn't a screamer0
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He couldn't get me to scream
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She didn't like her hair pulled
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He wanted to braid mh hair and not the hair on my head.0
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Because he didn't like my bed0 -
Because she wouldn't let me be the little spoon1
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His little spoon was too little0
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How the heck did you know that... LOL0
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Ask me no questions, I tell you no lies...bbbaaawwww0
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Because making up was twice as nice....0
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They kept breaking up with me then calling me for sex0
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She was always having relations with her Ex0
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Fleas0
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Cooties0
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She got around 1
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It was unclear to me if I was supposed to be pleasing her or her ex.0
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Bees in the piñata.
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When he was built they forgot to include a vital organ
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She thought I was heartless.1
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Was made of tin & rusty. Ran off with some floozie down a yellow brick road looking for a crazy wizard to give a heart to them.0
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Was a flying monkey in the bedroom if you get my drift.0
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He was like a piece of Driftwood in the Budoiur0
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she kept treating my junk like a piece of driftwood0
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Because butts weren't touched enough0
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