We broke up because...

DWBalboa

She wouldn't share her ice cream.

loftus4827

He asked me to start wearing weight lifting gloves because my calluses were a turn off

Muscle_for_Fitness

Insisted on wearing a hoodie every time she lifted

DWBalboa

She didn't like how silky my hands were.

iTim__

Masculine and feminine pronouns were too mysterious for him.

slimgirljo15

Never happening. .he's mine..mine I tell you bwahahaha

Unknown

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iTim__

He was a horder -- of women.

FabulousFantasticFifty

He called an Exorcist

iTim__

She gave up all her possessions after the exorcism. I missed some of them.

FabulousFantasticFifty

He was too Materialistic

iTim__

She didn't understand that we are living in a material world and I am a material girl... or guy.

TheMrWobbly

She was made of material

FabulousFantasticFifty

I found out about his surgery
He used to be a she!

Not that there's anything wrong with that!

lqqkingatu

She was always making sure to cover all her bases

littlewolf3785

She liked it when her bases were covered

FireTurtle75

She stole my car

littlewolf3785

I gave it back because he never put gas in it

DWBalboa

Because I was a tenth Doctor fan and she was an eleventh.

LonniJay

He was into Doctor Who

liftorgohome

She wouldn't play doctor

LonniJay

Tried playing doctor while I was with my doctor

liftorgohome

Had to show the doctor what to check.

hollyhavik

He never got the check

liftorgohome

She stole my checks and ran me broke.

missvalentine25

He watched too much American football

FireTurtle75

She wanted me to watch "futbol" instead.

liftorgohome

She always wanted to watch soccer.

littlewolf3785

He tried to be a soccer player