We broke up because...

LonniJay

Had to take care of myself because he couldn't... Too busy staring at the mirror making kissy faces

projectsix

LonniJay wrote: »

Had to take care of myself because he couldn't... Too busy staring at the mirror making kissy faces

SHE SPOKE ILL OF MY AMAZING DUCK FACES

littlewolf3785

He kept stealing the pringles to make duck bills.

FabulousFantasticFifty

She slapped my hand every time I reached for a chip!

mellecita

She ate chips in bed and got crumbs everywhere.

LonniJay

She kept throwing away the leftovers i left in bed

FabulousFantasticFifty

She called me a Crumby Slob!

DasItMan91

She was too much of a slob for me

LonniJay

We didn't break up... What are you talking about?

FabulousFantasticFifty

He had a chip on his shoulder and it drove me to Nuts!

LonniJay

She wasn't packin' or holdin'

littlewolf3785

He always gave that extra 10 % more, too competitive

LonniJay

I honestly don't remember... I barely remember him. Oh well

FabulousFantasticFifty

Selective Memory Loss

LonniJay

Selective hearing loss

FabulousFantasticFifty

She yelled at me so much that she ruptured my eardrums

LonniJay

Always had to yell when asking her to make me a sammich

let_me_clip_dirty_wings

I couldn't decide on a wedding date and she couldn't decide on a husband...

slimgirljo15

Too much baggage

FabulousFantasticFifty

Was always giving me Wet Willys

AlistairBernardNormal

She didn't like Wet Willies.

slimgirljo15

His willy wasn't wet.. was kinda dry and crusty

liftorgohome

She refused to wash my willy.

LonniJay

I polished all the knobs in the house and he still wasn't happy

liftorgohome

She kept missing one last knob that needed polishing a lot.

LonniJay

Said I didn't understand euphemisms...

liftorgohome

Kept using long words to sound intelligent.

LonniJay

I always had to dumb things down for him

DWBalboa

She was a cat lady and she said I was just a dawg.

LonniJay

He mixed up words constantly and he was a slob