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We broke up because...
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Had to take care of myself because he couldn't... Too busy staring at the mirror making kissy faces0
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He kept stealing the pringles to make duck bills.1
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She slapped my hand every time I reached for a chip!0
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She ate chips in bed and got crumbs everywhere.0
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She kept throwing away the leftovers i left in bed0
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She called me a Crumby Slob!
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She was too much of a slob for me0
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We didn't break up... What are you talking about?1
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He had a chip on his shoulder and it drove me to Nuts!0
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She wasn't packin' or holdin'0
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He always gave that extra 10 % more, too competitive0
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I honestly don't remember... I barely remember him. Oh well0
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Selective Memory Loss0
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Selective hearing loss0
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She yelled at me so much that she ruptured my eardrums0
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Always had to yell when asking her to make me a sammich0
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I couldn't decide on a wedding date and she couldn't decide on a husband...0
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Too much baggage0
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Was always giving me Wet Willys0
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She didn't like Wet Willies.0
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His willy wasn't wet..
was kinda dry and crusty 
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She refused to wash my willy.0
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I polished all the knobs in the house and he still wasn't happy0
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She kept missing one last knob that needed polishing a lot.0
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Said I didn't understand euphemisms...0
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Kept using long words to sound intelligent.0
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I always had to dumb things down for him0
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She was a cat lady and she said I was just a dawg.0
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He mixed up words constantly and he was a slob0
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