We broke up because...
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She had a short stamina and kept gasping for air.0
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He kept holding me under water0
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Her gills didn't work right0
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She kept thinking I was a mermaid0
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the scales were to uncomfortable when snuggling0
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He as always commenting on what the scale said I weighed0
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There were always scales in his bed0
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She tried to skin me one time with a knife.0
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Because I had issues with spelling his name0
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He became a couch potato0
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She kept leaving a butt print in my couch.0
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He didn't like my tush0
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She wouldn't let me ride on her caboose.0
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He said I didn't have enough Junk in the trunk0
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She had too much junk in her trunk of her car0
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She found the bodies0
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She tried to make me one of the bodies.0
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She didn't like my body, only dead ones.0
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I hid so she wouldn't make me one of her bodies0
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He kept acted like putting clothes on meant hiding.0
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She was only after my money not my body0
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She kept taking my clothes off to steal money from my wallet0
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He didn't have an ID to buy me alcohol with.0
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She found out I didn't have stock in Heinekin I just drank it a lot.0
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They were both unemployed and penniless!0
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He wouldn't venture out and try craft beers with me0
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threesomes weren't her thing.0
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Neither were twosomes
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He always wanted to be in the middle.0
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He stole all the crème in the oreos and put them back in the packaging.0
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