We broke up because...
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He wanted me to be more like his mom but her clothes didn't fit1
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She started making me call her mommy. And lets not bring up the diapers that she wanted me to wear.0
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She kept saying in bed who's your mamma!0
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He wanted me to call him son in bed... But I vomitted when I tried0
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She wouldn't let me breast feed. She said I was too old to.0
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He was a biter, didn't like it when I told him no more.0
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She kept giving me titty twisters but didn't like it when I did it back to her.0
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She didn't like my lone wolf attitude.0
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He didn't like my lazy sloth attitude0
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she said my drumming sucked0
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She was even lazier than me. We can't both be lazy!
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He couldn't motivate me to do.... anything.0
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He always sat right in the way of the TV0
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She wanted me to motivate her and yet she wouldn't do the same for me.0
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She made a better door than a window but didn't like when I turned her knobs0
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She tried to *kitten* me with a strap on0
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She always grabbed my knob too hard. Almost broke it off once. Ouch!0
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He wanted me to be gentle with him0
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He couldn't handle playing rough.0
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He was a solid 7 but thought he was a vampire0
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Kept underestimating himself.0
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She underestimated my manhood0
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He over promised and under delivered0
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He was really a Stork0
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She believed anything... Too gullible0
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She turned into a Sea Gull on Thursdays0
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She kept watching sea gulls and telling me she was seeing if I cheated... Uh wha1
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