We broke up because...

LonniJay

Didn't like how my granny panties smothered them in their sleep and left the days of the week on their face

let_me_clip_dirty_wings

Although we physically shared the same bed, we lacked the mentality of it all...

LonniJay

They liked to get deep into the emotional talk... I'd rather eat pizza

let_me_clip_dirty_wings

We had different interpretations of the word pizza...and eat...

MJFSH

Had different interpretation of the word PIZZA!!!!! WTF?????

LonniJay

We had the same interpretation of the word pizza but our devouring techniques were too different

let_me_clip_dirty_wings

She would always pull the football away from me just as I was about to kick it...
#AAUGH

FabulousFantasticFifty

He has weird terms for alone time and gets mad if I try to help out!

MJFSH

She was too helpful! Wanted to help everyone with their alone times

BlueButterfly94

She kept a photo of each ex in a creepy album!

MJFSH

Didn't like my butterfly collection

FabulousFantasticFifty

I woke up one morning with Blue hair!

JeanieWww

because I liked her blue hair!

Unknown

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Unknown

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FireTurtle75

My longboard was too short.

littlewolf3785

He was too short for me

xzsharp

she wasn't that good in the sack

LonniJay

He liked to do the deed in a sack

Slightlyodds

She wouldn't braid my hair

liftorgohome

She wouldn't let me grab her hair

LonniJay

She wouldn't sit still

slimgirljo15

Lethal dutch ovens..I died

LonniJay

She didn't like the smell of my cooking

finny11122

Said i had to quit MFP for her

slimgirljo15

He escaped the basement

finny11122

She tried to kill me .

slimgirljo15

Paranoid delusional

finny11122

She stabbed me 5 times

slimgirljo15

Aww c'mon ..I was hungry and you put your hand over the top of my plate ..