We broke up because...
Replies
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She does like burritos0
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She wouldn't listen to death metal with me.
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Flushed the toilet while I showered making the water cold0
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He thought the shower was the toilet.0
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Her hatred became unbearable0
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He tried to kill me and sell my organs on the black market.0
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She farted on me all night long0
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She blamed her gas on me.0
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All she knew how to cook was beans0
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Beans was all she ate, a dutch oven killed me
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She was prejudiced against my Danish Heritage0
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She was prejudiced against my Italian heritage.0
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She used all my shampoo0
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He spilled my hair dye.0
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She would initiate conversation during my favorite TV shows...0
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He had terrible taste in TV shows.1
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Demanded silence during all television shows0
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When I suggested Netflix and Chill, she actually wanted to watch Netflix and Chill!

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We had different definitions of "Netflix and Chill"1
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She never believed... I really AM Superman... I believed she was Xena!0
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He wouldn't accept that WAS actually Wonder Woman
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He wore tights all the time0
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He stole all my tights.0
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I'm too short for her0
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I'm too tall0
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I told him don't stand under that tree but he wouldn't listen0
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He always had a measuring tape out0
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She dreaded measuring tapes0
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He didn't believe me when I said " other ladies were fair game!"
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She liked women more than men0
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