We broke up because...

Minion_training_program

I tried to stuff up her animal, appearantly that is inappropiate when the dog is still barking

Callousedthoughts

Wouldn't ever take off his blue overalls.

PaperDoll_

He devoted his life and all his free time to trying to get minions to strip.

Callousedthoughts

I must admit, it was my fault. I took her 20 and converted it to ones. In my defense, I needed tips for the minions.

Minion_training_program

I never saw any of those tips, so he must have cheated on me with a different minion

PaperDoll_

Caught him stripping, and for free. 😮

shaf238

Spied on me getting a free striptease from Gus

mattig89ch

I couldn't be in a poly relationship.

PlentyofProtein00

He was capable of being in any relationship

Callousedthoughts

She used all my bitcoin to buy tacos and steak

PlentyofProtein00

Yum! Do we have to break up?

Callousedthoughts

PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »

Yum! Do we have to break up?

My biggest mistake. Buy you a steak?

PlentyofProtein00

Callousedthoughts wrote: »

My biggest mistake. Buy you a steak?

Wow 😍

PlentyofProtein00

We dont get the bloomin onion we breakin up

Callousedthoughts

PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »

We dont get the bloomin onion we breakin up

Bloomin onion it is. I dont make the same mistakes twice.

mattig89ch

she didn't wanna get a steak at outback. Who goes to outback, and only gets an onion?

PaperDoll_

He wanted steak. I brought him a cow. Nothing I ever did was good enough.

PaperDoll_

She didn't support all my entrepreneurial endeavors.

Cat0703a

There were so many endeavours they were hard to keep track of!

PaperDoll_

She put a tracking device on my car and then judged me for my Starbucks trips. 😒

Callousedthoughts

Nothing could take her mind off Paperdoll, and I tried some very creative distractions. One that involved my hands, a hula hoop, and handcuffs. She didnt even notice.

slimgirljo15

I found @PaperDoll_ in handcuffs in our closet...he explained she was just a little distraction..

Cat0703a

I wasn’t willing to share @PaperDoll_ with her. I wanted both to give me 100% of their undivided attention.

PaperDoll_

I was ready to commit and do away with @slimgirljo15 but she wasn’t having it.

terrordawg

She only wanted me for my dance moves 😭

Minion_training_program

She refuses to watch The Green Mile

Minion_training_program

Couldn't stand me crying over some movies...sorry i have emotions

eva_letsdance

We didnt

Cat0703a

She was always gazing out the window, pining for Eva.

eva_letsdance

She couldnt settle on just me 😜