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We broke up because...

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Replies

  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    He thought you were supposed to fry Cheerios. He ruined the entire box.
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,684 Member
    She didnt understand the art of breakfast
  • jjkh5970
    jjkh5970 Posts: 466 Member
    She didn’t cook enough for breakfast
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    She wanted a 7 course meal for breakfast every day. I'm more simple, bacon and eggs, maybe some cheese grits.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Grits are Gross!
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    edited May 2020
    The coffee she made us in the mornings was too weak
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,684 Member
    His math skills were weak. Couldnt even math right.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    He was in lurve with his Porsche. Spent so much time trying to park it away from all of the other vehicles. Polishing it with a dust rag every time the wind blew and rinsing it off with cold water if a speck of dust blew on top of it while driving through town. His new one cost over 300 k and it's true love.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    Wanted me to slick back my hair, dress in pastels and drive sports cars. Didnt understand my style was more trucks and beard.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Always had food in his beard... started to smell pretty bad
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  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    She constantly sent videos and gifs knowing that they made me heave. 🤢
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    The things she wanted to watch....scared even me. The gimp with ball gag one...😖
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    It may have scared him but he wanted to reenact it nightly. Once or twice...sure but 457 times??? Too much!!
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,073 Member
    That one time, he caught my grandparents making love and he didn’t leave right away
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    He "ooohhh"ed and "ahhhh"ed every time I peeled a banana or the paper from a popsicle
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    So embarrassing taking him grocery shopping.. he had to grope all the fruit :(
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    Her hands were always on any and every peach she saw.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    She was a n extreme labeler. Never went anywhere without her label gun. Even labeled my side of the bed.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Let's just say the stuff he did with that grapefruit, rubber chicken and spatula was not acceptable :/
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    She had no sense for adventure in the budoir 😒
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,684 Member
    Her idea of adventure was flipping the couch over and making a couch cave.

  • jjkh5970
    jjkh5970 Posts: 466 Member
    She couldn’t afford to buy new furniture and we had to sit on the floor.
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,073 Member
    she called tears 'eyewater' and repeatedly told me that I was boring her to eyewaters.
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,684 Member
    He made fun of me for my eye disorder. Wateringeyeliditis is no laughing matter.
  • Soon2BSuper
    Soon2BSuper Posts: 1,767 Member
    She finished my Protein and left the empty container on the counter
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    Wanted me to always eat my steak off his chest, even at restaraunts.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    I tried to hold her hand in public. She shrieked, called me a weirdo
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    He did that thing with his left eye, tongue and arm in public... weirdo :D
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    She called it weird, I called it unique and eclectic.
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,073 Member
    She wanted to name our daughter "Moronica".

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