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We broke up because...
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He ate all the birthday cake and didn't share0
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She offered to make my birthday cake but she iced rice cakes for me. 😒0
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Made me nachos with powdered cheese
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Didn't like the Mac n cheese I made him
How was I supposed to know he took all the powder cheese packets out of the boxes and gave them to his Ex?!!0 -
She would never cook anything but mac n cheese.0
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He thought buying me a cookbook was a good idea for our anniversary. With sticky notes noting which recipes he wanted on which days, and a list of the substitutions he preferred. Wow. Just wow.0
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She just quit stalking me.0
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I’m still stalking her.0
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*hides0
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He got mad that I didn’t capture his good side in all the pictures of him I secretly took.0
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I found boxes full of our neighbours pics. We lived next to a retirement home
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I paid too much attention to her. She didn’t like it. Lol0
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I paid for her attention. She said it wasnt near enough.0
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Btw you owe me more $$$ lmao0
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Couldn’t keep up lol0
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I felt awkward around all her angel friends....its wasn't you it was me0
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She wanted me to quit working for Charlie and to dump Kelly & Sabrina0
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She clearly had too many angels on the go already!0
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She ate my dinner. (ok, the lettuce off my burger). Really though, I just wanted to make up0
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Bring me a juicy tomato and I’ll consider it.0
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Had too many "juicy tomatoes" on the side 😠0
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She called me her juicy onion wth
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She didn't realize that I love onions in everything0
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Served me chocolate cake with diced onions in it. 😖0
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She stifled my culinary experimentation 0
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She kept hiding my hair dryer0
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Kept giving me hair dryers as presents, when i am bald...0
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Chopped off my hair to make himself a wig1
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