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We broke up because...
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Because she had a “colonoscopy” at the Holiday Inn which included an overnight stay and complimentary breakfast.🧐
Btw, how were the waffles?0 -
She'd never share Her "Hot Cakes" with me!0
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She called my hooha “hot cakes” 😳0
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She didn't appreciate my terms of endearment 🤷♀️0
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She made me watch that movie Terms of Endearment every Saturday night because of her crazy obsession with Jack Nicholson...
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On Saturday nights she would only ever want to have Batman movie marathons0
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Makes me dress up like batman1
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He refused to play dress up ☹️2
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She wanted me to dress up like her Ex 😞1
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Would wear rugged denim and hiking boots to formal events...so embarrassing!1
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She didn’t allow me to be myself. Always trying to make me posh.1
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Last I heard she joined a Girl Band called The Spice Girls then married a famous Soccer Player named David 🤷🏼♀️0
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She kept kicking balls at me0
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She never wanted to play kickball 🥴0
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She was often trying to use my head as a kick ball. So abusive!0
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She would never lay off the fact that once I accidentally jumped off the bed onto her head.... Serves her right for hiding under there with her Mistress and Mister 😠0
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She kept asking me to sleep under the bed. I never could figure out why. 🤔0
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She ran off with a hairy cowboy 😭0
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She was always crying over her lost toys0
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She was always removing the batteries from my toys. 🤨1
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I found a trunk filled with some really strange objects under her side of the bed ... And they definitely didn't belong to my Lumberjack! 🤭0
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She got mad at my superstitions and love spells... like the one time I put an ax and flannel shirts in a trunk under my bed to attract a handsome lumberjack!1
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I said I was a lumberjack. She said Im ok, but I sleep all night and I work all day.0
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I wanted him fried but he always demanded to be baked. 😒0
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Never.. shes never leaving me 🤗0
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I'm just a ramblin' man0
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I found used tassels in her pocket! 😑0
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Couldn't solve my mysteries, which lead to my heart0
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He hid his heart way up in the tallest tree, knowing I was afraid of heights. 😭0
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