We broke up because...
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if you lived in a house with a slab foundation that wouldnt be an issue. I found the most attractive thing about you was the glittery womanly vampire you were in the sunlight. The house and floorboards below cracking, and breaking put a damper on our relationship.0
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He had a thing for vampires.... I was more into werewolves.0
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;p
I put teeth in one halloween and he assumed I wanted to suck his.. blood ; )
she ended it with me, she didn't like me taking the duvet covers off her at night : (0 -
Kept bringing other women into our bed and stealing my covers for them.0
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Was stingy with the covers!0
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Was stingy with the lovin'0
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Played tug of war with the covers.0
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Was insatiable0
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Made me do Zumba in our bedroom0
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Too good in the bedroom. Where'd ya learn all that!!0
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She said she only wanted to try the strap on me once. I didn't think it was once a day.
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he burned my 50 Shades book! ;p0
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Wanted to work our way through her book0
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Wasn't able to build a sufficient Red Room of Pain0
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Was only able to do it if she was in pain0
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she made me kneel for 3 days! @Shananigans457
he wanted to inflict light pain, I wasn't sure if he was pushed into it
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I was constantly dehydrated.0
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He always forgot the Gatorade... I got tired if him running to the sink for water.0
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he wouldn't feed me so I didn't let him drink
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He was always thirsty.0
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She would not take off her glasses0
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He/She was a gray box.0
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Because he's only 10 shades of grey.0
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And I am 101 shades of grey <just can't win!>0
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he over exaggerated he was only 100 shades ; )0
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We didn't ...never ...im never breaking up with you...got it
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OK... so I blended 2 to make an extra shade... that's not cheating or lying!0
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I think we called it a break ( 1 second one... just couldn't live withut her!
@slimgirljo15
he never lied
even when the cops pulled us over for speeding, he told them he had over 15 unpaid tickets 
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She wanted me to lie instead of do jail time and pay my tickets0
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