Bad advice thread

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  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
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    After running, Bikram yoga, or spinning class a shower is never needed - everyone else loves to have you drip sweat on them and smell your wonderful earthy aroma
  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
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    If your date from the other night is not texting you back, it is code for 'try harder,' .. they really just want to make sure you're serious because they've been hurt so many times.
  • jorinya
    jorinya Posts: 933 Member
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    Always leave the toilet seat up after you when you go to your girlfriend's house and pee on the floor. She will love to smell your scent and it will keep other males away from your territory. When you go toilet, don't flush and leave her a nice smelly present. She will adore you for it.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
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    Women don't need to shave, men appreciate the natural look of your hairy body parts - also, to get men to really appreciate your natural appearance, don't bath more than once a week and never wear deodorant or perfume
  • yourradimradletshug
    yourradimradletshug Posts: 964 Member
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    You don't need to use your turn signal. The people in the other lanes can read your mind so they know you plan on swerving over.
  • JONZ64
    JONZ64 Posts: 1,280 Member
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    you can get 2 or 3 more reps at the end of a set if you scream "IMAHOOKAH!"
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
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    Don't worry about those annoying bills that you get in the mail -- the money you get paid is for you to enjoy and there is no reason to give it to the mortgage company and the utilities.
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    You should check out the MFP forums.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
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    Be nice
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris Posts: 502 Member
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    Cash in your retirement account to write a biography on the life of Pauly Shore.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
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    You never have to count calories as long as you avoid eating 20 minutes before bedtime.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    edited May 2015
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    If you don't like your mom and dad bossing you around, then join the Marines
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris Posts: 502 Member
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    Get a second mortgage on your home to buy stock in Enron.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    You should totally call your ex! They'd love to hear from you, and won't care at all that it's 2am!
  • skaffle
    skaffle Posts: 29 Member
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    If you're feeling ill you should look up your symptoms using WebMD and Wikipedia to diagnose yourself.

    Once you're fairly certain what your illness is write it down, but DO NOT visit a doctor to confirm your diagnosis, as that would just be a waste of time and money.
    Instead, look into using homeopathic herbal remedies in conjunction with accupuncture and low frequency binaural audio tracks, which can be found on Youtube for free.

    Trust me on this. I'm a certified Nutritionist, Dietitian, and licensed Gynecologist in 32 states with a BS/MD in Health and Wellness Studies from one of the top Universities in the country. I know what I'm talking about.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
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    When driving, don't worry about turning on those pesky lights at night -- leaving them off saves on light bulbs
  • DedRepublic
    DedRepublic Posts: 348 Member
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    No Carbs After 6 ;)

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  • vypressme
    vypressme Posts: 228 Member
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    Change title to "great advice thread"
  • blondeinnj
    blondeinnj Posts: 3,215 Member
    edited May 2015
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    If a cop pulls you over and asks " you drinking?" Respond with "are you buying?"

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