Bad advice thread

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  • CiclistaVal
    CiclistaVal Posts: 221 Member
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    If something you say doesn't make sense to someone, just say it louder and louder until it clicks.
  • CiclistaVal
    CiclistaVal Posts: 221 Member
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    If you keep weaving in and out of heavily congested traffic through all 5 lines on the highway, you get to your destination faster.
  • CiclistaVal
    CiclistaVal Posts: 221 Member
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    It's a great idea to blast your headlights while tailgating. That way the driver in front of you will acknowledge your existence.
  • CiclistaVal
    CiclistaVal Posts: 221 Member
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    If you get an e-mail from the prince of Nigeria, asking if you'd like to hold onto 7 million dollars, it is probably legitimate.
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
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    People go to chill on the beach on Siberia, Russia every day... Most popular Spring Break location in Asia
  • Sparky_1113
    Sparky_1113 Posts: 2,886 Member
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    Hold this,, what?? Of course I turned the power off...
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
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    RichardTrenchard wrote: »
    Hold this,, what?? Of course I turned the power off...

    LOL
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
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    Of course all small cars float--they have 4 tires filled with all air
  • Sparky_1113
    Sparky_1113 Posts: 2,886 Member
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    Thats the mens showers, thats sign means women can NOT go in there
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
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    Doing a tune up on your car is easy, anyone can do it.
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
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    Forget Ethanol, just poor corn syrup into your tank and skip all those greedy middlemen
  • jorinya
    jorinya Posts: 933 Member
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    CiclistaVal wrote: »
    If you get an e-mail from the prince of Nigeria, asking if you'd like to hold onto 7 million dollars, it is probably legitimate.

    @CiclistaVal, I live in Nigeria. There is more than one prince, each and every village has their own king or chief. Beside those guys actually most times live outside Nigeria. If they are caught doing 419 here, they are kicked out of whatever house they are in and sent out. I would NOT open the email because of malware. Run antivirus especially if there is an attachment. Delete.

    Worst advice: Open the email, nothing will happen. There is no such thing as cyber crime. Store all your credit card details on your computer, your social security number and all your personal information that you don't want anyone to know. The internet cannot be hacked. Its just a myth.
  • Sparky_1113
    Sparky_1113 Posts: 2,886 Member
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    The boss heard what you said, best go and appoligize for it before he calls you to HR
  • blueyellowhorse
    blueyellowhorse Posts: 708 Member
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    don't wash your hands after you use the bathroom, because that can dry your hands out.
  • blueyellowhorse
    blueyellowhorse Posts: 708 Member
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    it's totally okay to pick up the soap
  • tat2cookie
    tat2cookie Posts: 1,899 Member
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    Always talk about your dream wedding and the name of your imaginary kids on your first date. Dudes love that stuff. Then be sure to call and text him nonstop for 3 days. Because He obviously must be in trouble, make sure you find out where he lives and peak though all his windows. After realizing that he's not home, knowing that he must be on another date with some *kitten*, break in and wait for him. Go through all of his stuff while you wait. Around 4am when he's still not home, and you have properly written your name with his last name all over his walls, you start his bed on fire because it's obvious that you were meant to be and he is just confused. As you are being hauled off by the cops, now this is important, you need to scream your undying love for him and tell him and you won't stop until you are together. Guys really REALLY love that!!
  • jorinya
    jorinya Posts: 933 Member
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    Women really like a man that doesn't take care of himself. Make sure you have really stinky and hairy armpits, the smellier the better. Never brush your teeth and always make sure you have food stuck between your teeth and smelt breath, sardines are a turn on. Never cut your hair or shave and leave bits of food in your beard. Dress in really smelly clothes when you go to meet her parents and don't forget to belch and fart a lot. That shows you love her mothers food. Slap her mum on the bum and say "I'll show you a good time". Insult her dad and tell him how many times you are sleeping with his daughter. Sleep with all her friends and get one of them pregnant. She would love her to be bridesmaid at your wedding. When you marry her, beat her around the same time every day for about 20 mins, nice work out for you. Treat her like dirt. Call her fat and a slut and then leave her high and dry. Best way to treat a woman!!!
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
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    When taking a woman out on the first date, skip all of the romance and drive right to the motel -- she will appreciate you saving money on dinner and a movie and like your spontaneity going right to the main event -- she will be even more appreciative if you tell her that you are going to try and get her pregnant -- that will save you both on the dating, courtship, and honeymoon and move right along to the starting a family.
  • tat2cookie
    tat2cookie Posts: 1,899 Member
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    When getting pulled over make sure you lick the cops face when you hand him your license and registration.
  • SallyinIL
    SallyinIL Posts: 85 Member
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    Coconut oil makes a great deodorant.

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