So, I'm doing a cleanse tomorrow....don't try and stop me
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Doesn't it look like she smells something suspect here?
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I did a "cleanse" this weekend. Lost 6.5 lbs in two days.
However, it involved vomiting so hard it came out my nose (twice) and having burning acid squirt violently from my *kitten* for two FULL days (let's just say there was blood despite patting and wipes). There were only five said episodes on day three and the reprieve was enough to make me want to drop to my knees screaming "Hallelujah!"
TL;DR Gastroenteritis is NOT recommended.0 -
Buy a seatbelt for your toilet. And read this for a good laugh (and some brutal honesty): http://www.andrewgottesman.com/humor/dave_barry_colonoscopy.pdf
Oh, and if you get a choice, definitely just have the doc put your under anesthesia for the procedure. My doc did that and the actual procedure was a total non-event. On the other hand, people I know who were kept awake said it was pretty miserable.
Dave Barry link - hilarious story!!
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nicsflyingcircus wrote: »I did a "cleanse" this weekend. Lost 6.5 lbs in two days.
However, it involved vomiting so hard it came out my nose (twice) and having burning acid squirt violently from my *kitten* for two FULL days (let's just say there was blood despite patting and wipes). There were only five said episodes on day three and the reprieve was enough to make me want to drop to my knees screaming "Hallelujah!"
TL;DR Gastroenteritis is NOT recommended.
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Buy a seatbelt for your toilet. And read this for a good laugh (and some brutal honesty): http://www.andrewgottesman.com/humor/dave_barry_colonoscopy.pdf
Oh, and if you get a choice, definitely just have the doc put your under anesthesia for the procedure. My doc did that and the actual procedure was a total non-event. On the other hand, people I know who were kept awake said it was pretty miserable.
Oh my god I got to the description of MoviPrep and had to stop reading. I was crying and clutching my incisions. I could feel my colon jiggling inside.
Yeah, I'm going to have to bookmark and read later. I seriously can't read without laughing and it seriously hurts.0 -
MyChocolateDiet wrote: »This thread is so full of butthurt.
Winner!
****
I'm actually a bit afraid of having a colonoscopy. Every time in the past that I've had to take a laxative, I've fainted or nearly fainted when the laxative kicks in. I get super woosy and the entire world just collapses in and I get super sweaty and then faint.
Anyone else have this experience?
Or, I could ask my doctor.
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LOL at all of the posts. Mine is scheduled for mid March (I'm on vacation, no way was I working when attempting this - will be catching up on my reading for sure), my first one. I'll be 51 at the end of March. The doctor mentioned it at my physical when I was still 49 and I threatened his life, so I didn't do it then, but he put the referral in at the last one a few weeks ago. I've got the prep - loved shelling out $30 for Gatorade and Miralax and the complimentary broth packets. Thanks for the advice on the butt wipes and all the links and thanks for making me laugh, I'll admit the whole idea of them finding something does worry me. (hypochondriac nurse here)0
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Oh god MoviPrep. I think there should be a rule that anyone who prescribes that awful shite should have to take the entire course themselves first. Lemon wedges were my friend. I would suck on one as a chaser after every glass. It really helped cut through that slimy salty residue it left in my mouth.
In addition to everyone else's comments, I highly recommend a puzzle book or something else interesting to do while you're on the toilet. You will have plenty of time to kill!0 -
I had to have one last spring as part of the work up for celiac. Clear fluids for two days, no reds no purples. If I got hungry I ate jolly ranchers that weren't the taboo colors and a few gummy bears (hey they're clear, right?) and jello. Moviprep etc is generally mag citrate, which tastes like salt fermented in a baboon's butt. I had to dilute it out way over twice what they wanted and take sips of strong chicken broth between each drink. Straws help. I didn't get even halfway through the second bottle it was so bad- but I got compliments on the prep by the doc.
It's not the most fun I've ever had, but I've had to go through worse. Good luck!0 -
They cover it with plastic, the Doctor wouldn't see your note, only the nurse that prepped you.My Mom just recently had another one done and see said that they have greatly improved the "icky gut flush medicine" from the last time she had it done. So, I guess there's THAT to look forward to
Good luck!
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It is not a biggie but they pump you up with gas so they can see and you may wake up feeling like the good year blimp, and probably not as hungry as you think. It is a life-saving procedure and well worth it.Nothing but clear fluids, jello and popsicles. Then a couple doses of some icky gut flush medicine. Really think it will help with my weight loss goals!!!
Well.....maybe not. I'm having a colonoscopy/endoscopy Friday morning. (Woo Hoo!) Anyone else who's been through it have any advice?
I think I'm as worried about pigging out for days after it's over as I am about the "forced elimination" part of the program.
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You want this.
Often used after childbirth, but I've also used them a couple times during severe bouts of GI distress and it's a lifesaver. Rinse with the bottle, pat dry, apply cream. (Between the butt cream and the cleansing bottles, having kids was the best preparation for food poisoning I could think of, haha.)
Side note: Though, OP, you don't have time to order them from Amazon, this line in the description gave me a giggle: "These eight-ounce perineal cleansing bottles are perfect for cleaning surfaces after children have been enjoying messy art projects, or for cleaning yourself." If children are doing art projects on your perineum...you're doing it very, very wrong.
Bahahahahaha omfg you made me snort
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Ps good luck op0
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I don't know if anyone has said this yet or not, but if you're getting a colonoscopy you should not consume red or purple jello/popsicles. It can mess with your results, and you might have to go through the whole thing again. Just stick with the clear stuff if at all possible.0
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Liftng4Lis wrote: »Um, you guys are making being old scary. Aren't these things regularly scheduled when you're older?
Who is old?
Haha, just looked at your profile and you're older than I am!
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MyChocolateDiet wrote: »
Is it a brown tie dye?credle071207 wrote: »Keep plenty of reading material in the bathroom!!! Been there, done that, got the T-shirt!
How did you know?? LOL0 -
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MyChocolateDiet wrote: »This thread is so full of butthurt.
Winner!
****
I'm actually a bit afraid of having a colonoscopy. Every time in the past that I've had to take a laxative, I've fainted or nearly fainted when the laxative kicks in. I get super woosy and the entire world just collapses in and I get super sweaty and then faint.
Anyone else have this experience?
Or, I could ask my doctor.
Vasovagal reaction? They mentioned some folks have that in the BS article.
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Ugh I had to have a colonoscopy when I was 22 to test for crohn's (I don't have it! Woo!). I was not allowed jello or popsicles, just clear beverages and the gut-blaster liquid. I got to pick a flavor. Do not pick a flavor that you like- pick a flavor that you can drink a gallon of without ralphing. I was advised against cherry/berry flavors. I went with lemon-lime. I drank a lot of diet sprite and water.
I wasn't actually able to get all of the gut-blaster down. I finished maybe 85% of the container? It was so miserable. I felt like Dumbledore drinking from the basin with the horcrux.
The actual bathroom time wasn't that bad. Pooping liquid (not diarrhea.. just.. like pooping water) feels very weird, but not painful. Keep your bathroom access high. My guts gave me ample warning that it was time to gut-blast. "Yo *gurrrrgleee* It's time *grrrrrrruugggggg*" There was no danger of accidental poo-splosion. Keep some nice plush toilet paper on hand. Think absorbent.0 -
I am not 100% sure, but are you allowed broth? If so, my reccomendation is to sautee moirepox as if you are going to make soup and add water to make a broth and then strain out the veggies. It it will significantly less sodium than anything store bought.0
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