So, I'm doing a cleanse tomorrow....don't try and stop me

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Replies

  • CariJean64
    CariJean64 Posts: 297 Member
    CariJean64 wrote: »
    I got this done just two days before Christmas! The prep was the worst part, and I heartily agree with the advice you've been given.
    I had an intimate biopsy with no anesthesia that day....I win!

    Wow. I concede! :-)
  • Mick1127
    Mick1127 Posts: 451 Member
    I have a serious recommendation for getting that nasty tasting gut flush down. Mix it with orange juice of the no pulp variety. I was told I could drink it to get rid of the taste so I asked why I couldn't mix them together. Well, the doc had no problem with that. Is it a perfect solution? No. But, it was a whole lot better than the alternative.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    As an oldster who has to have these procedures every 5 years :\ , let me give you 3 tips that will make the elimination process easier. At least the day before your prep, eat very little. Instead, drink clear liquids then as well. Gorging or overeating beforehand will make the cleaning out phase WORSE. Trust me. That means 2 days of clear liquids like broth, non-red Jello and popsickles, etc, not one day. Also, even if your prep drink smells and tastes good, hold your breath or nose when you drink it, then rinse your mouth out afterward. I personally prefer to rinse with 7-UP. Don't cheat and decide that you've had enough and those last few ounces aren't needed. Oh yes they are! Nothing's worse than thinking you're all cleaned out only to hear "Guess who needs an enema?" It happened. :s

    Everything will be fine. And yes, kudos to you for taking this very important step to good health.

    You say that like it's a bad thing.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    kbeloved wrote: »
    If you're going to do it, do it right with juicing. All fruits and veggies. Flush your body and at the same time provide it the various nutrients your body needs. FRUITS AND VEGGIES, JUICE THEM.

    70 words. You seriously couldn't be bothered reading 70 words before spouting completely irrelevant and useless advice?

    Do you know how many fruits and vegetables you can juice in the time it takes to read that many words? Do you even juice, bro?

    Lolololol #threadwinner!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Mine steered me away from certain colors of jello. I couldn't have red or green (I think). It is difficult to find the orange and there wasn't any yellow. It wasn't horrible just make sure to follow the directions.
    I think the nurses are playing games with you.
  • SeeHeatherRun
    SeeHeatherRun Posts: 3 Member
    Use a straw to drink the pooh pooh koolaid and add crystal light to it instead of the flavor packet that comes with it! And ask if you can wear your own socks to the procedure. I have cute, thick sock that are my "colonoscopy socks", but I attend the colon party more often than most, so...yeah.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Mine steered me away from certain colors of jello. I couldn't have red or green (I think). It is difficult to find the orange and there wasn't any yellow. It wasn't horrible just make sure to follow the directions.

    Mine was no red or purple I think.

    You'll be ok, it isn't as bad as the dreading. When I had mine, I woke up in recovery "remembering everything" which turned out to be a big, hilarious dream sequence that never happened. In the dream I was pointing at a monitor while they did the procedure asking what this was and that was and was really entertained.

    I'm certain of it.
  • jenglish712
    jenglish712 Posts: 497 Member
    I think the prep stuff named "Go Lytely" is hilarious. You do not go lightly. The marketing dept probably wouldn't let them name is "Crap Like a Goose."
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    Um, you guys are making being old scary. Aren't these things regularly scheduled when you're older?

    You callin' me old??? Huh??? :laugh:

    Mine was scheduled because my GI needed to confirm the presence of diverticula. When he was in there he found a fairly small polyp that pathology found to be precancerous. So instead of getting to go back in 20 years I have to go every 5 years. Honestly it's not the worst thing in the world so long as you don't have to take MoviPrep. If they try and give you that, I'd run.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I think the prep stuff named "Go Lytely" is hilarious. You do not go lightly. The marketing dept probably wouldn't let them name is "Crap Like a Goose."
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  • dougpconnell219
    dougpconnell219 Posts: 566 Member
    Ah, the night of 1,000 waterfalls. Been there.

    Keep a book or your phone near the toilet. I finally just stayed in there.
  • mscheftg
    mscheftg Posts: 485 Member
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO don't cleanse!!!!!!!! It's bad for you!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Oh? What's that? It's a colon cleanse? I prefer mine to come in the form of Taco Bell, but I don't suppose the doctors want to see that....

    Good luck!!

    **Sorry for the obnoxiousness of this post... I'm tired... slightly hungry and avoiding working out because of the two aforementioned reasons. ::) :):)
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    Um, you guys are making being old scary. Aren't these things regularly scheduled when you're older?
    Being old is not scary, its superfun. Well, compared to being dead that is.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Keep plenty of reading material in the bathroom!!! Been there, done that, got the T-shirt!
    Is it a brown tie dye?
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    mscheftg wrote: »
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO don't cleanse!!!!!!!! It's bad for you!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Oh? What's that? It's a colon cleanse? I prefer mine to come in the form of Taco Bell, but I don't suppose the doctors want to see that....

    Good luck!!

    **Sorry for the obnoxiousness of this post... I'm tired... slightly hungry and avoiding working out because of the two aforementioned reasons. ::) :):)

    Yeah. Me too. ^That.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Doesn't it look like she smells something suspect here?

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  • nicsflyingcircus
    nicsflyingcircus Posts: 2,860 Member
    I did a "cleanse" this weekend. Lost 6.5 lbs in two days.

















    However, it involved vomiting so hard it came out my nose (twice) and having burning acid squirt violently from my *kitten* for two FULL days (let's just say there was blood despite patting and wipes). There were only five said episodes on day three and the reprieve was enough to make me want to drop to my knees screaming "Hallelujah!"

    TL;DR Gastroenteritis is NOT recommended.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
    wamydia wrote: »
    Buy a seatbelt for your toilet. And read this for a good laugh (and some brutal honesty): http://www.andrewgottesman.com/humor/dave_barry_colonoscopy.pdf

    Oh, and if you get a choice, definitely just have the doc put your under anesthesia for the procedure. My doc did that and the actual procedure was a total non-event. On the other hand, people I know who were kept awake said it was pretty miserable.

    Dave Barry link - hilarious story!! :grin:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I did a "cleanse" this weekend. Lost 6.5 lbs in two days.

















    However, it involved vomiting so hard it came out my nose (twice) and having burning acid squirt violently from my *kitten* for two FULL days (let's just say there was blood despite patting and wipes). There were only five said episodes on day three and the reprieve was enough to make me want to drop to my knees screaming "Hallelujah!"

    TL;DR Gastroenteritis is NOT recommended.

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  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
    edited January 2015
    wamydia wrote: »
    Buy a seatbelt for your toilet. And read this for a good laugh (and some brutal honesty): http://www.andrewgottesman.com/humor/dave_barry_colonoscopy.pdf

    Oh, and if you get a choice, definitely just have the doc put your under anesthesia for the procedure. My doc did that and the actual procedure was a total non-event. On the other hand, people I know who were kept awake said it was pretty miserable.

    Oh my god I got to the description of MoviPrep and had to stop reading. I was crying and clutching my incisions. I could feel my colon jiggling inside.

    Yeah, I'm going to have to bookmark and read later. I seriously can't read without laughing and it seriously hurts.
  • DeWoSa
    DeWoSa Posts: 496 Member
    edited January 2015
    This thread is so full of butthurt.

    Winner!

    ****

    I'm actually a bit afraid of having a colonoscopy. Every time in the past that I've had to take a laxative, I've fainted or nearly fainted when the laxative kicks in. I get super woosy and the entire world just collapses in and I get super sweaty and then faint.

    Anyone else have this experience?

    Or, I could ask my doctor.
  • kar328
    kar328 Posts: 4,159 Member
    LOL at all of the posts. Mine is scheduled for mid March (I'm on vacation, no way was I working when attempting this - will be catching up on my reading for sure), my first one. I'll be 51 at the end of March. The doctor mentioned it at my physical when I was still 49 and I threatened his life, so I didn't do it then, but he put the referral in at the last one a few weeks ago. I've got the prep - loved shelling out $30 for Gatorade and Miralax and the complimentary broth packets. Thanks for the advice on the butt wipes and all the links and thanks for making me laugh, I'll admit the whole idea of them finding something does worry me. (hypochondriac nurse here)
  • Maleficent0241
    Maleficent0241 Posts: 386 Member
    Oh god MoviPrep. I think there should be a rule that anyone who prescribes that awful shite should have to take the entire course themselves first. Lemon wedges were my friend. I would suck on one as a chaser after every glass. It really helped cut through that slimy salty residue it left in my mouth.

    In addition to everyone else's comments, I highly recommend a puzzle book or something else interesting to do while you're on the toilet. You will have plenty of time to kill!
  • kramrn77
    kramrn77 Posts: 375 Member
    I had to have one last spring as part of the work up for celiac. Clear fluids for two days, no reds no purples. If I got hungry I ate jolly ranchers that weren't the taboo colors and a few gummy bears (hey they're clear, right?) and jello. Moviprep etc is generally mag citrate, which tastes like salt fermented in a baboon's butt. I had to dilute it out way over twice what they wanted and take sips of strong chicken broth between each drink. Straws help. I didn't get even halfway through the second bottle it was so bad- but I got compliments on the prep by the doc.

    It's not the most fun I've ever had, but I've had to go through worse. Good luck!
  • perseverance14
    perseverance14 Posts: 1,364 Member
    aplcr0331 wrote: »
    My Mom just recently had another one done and see said that they have greatly improved the "icky gut flush medicine" from the last time she had it done. So, I guess there's THAT to look forward to ;)

    Good luck!
    They cover it with plastic, the Doctor wouldn't see your note, only the nurse that prepped you.

  • perseverance14
    perseverance14 Posts: 1,364 Member
    edited January 2015
    pplastics wrote: »
    Nothing but clear fluids, jello and popsicles. Then a couple doses of some icky gut flush medicine. Really think it will help with my weight loss goals!!!

    Well.....maybe not. I'm having a colonoscopy/endoscopy Friday morning. (Woo Hoo!) Anyone else who's been through it have any advice?

    I think I'm as worried about pigging out for days after it's over as I am about the "forced elimination" part of the program.
    It is not a biggie but they pump you up with gas so they can see and you may wake up feeling like the good year blimp, and probably not as hungry as you think. It is a life-saving procedure and well worth it.

  • karen_fitzgibbon
    karen_fitzgibbon Posts: 736 Member
    BarbieAS wrote: »
    You want this.

    Often used after childbirth, but I've also used them a couple times during severe bouts of GI distress and it's a lifesaver. Rinse with the bottle, pat dry, apply cream. (Between the butt cream and the cleansing bottles, having kids was the best preparation for food poisoning I could think of, haha.)

    Side note: Though, OP, you don't have time to order them from Amazon, this line in the description gave me a giggle: "These eight-ounce perineal cleansing bottles are perfect for cleaning surfaces after children have been enjoying messy art projects, or for cleaning yourself." If children are doing art projects on your perineum...you're doing it very, very wrong.

    Bahahahahaha omfg you made me snort
  • karen_fitzgibbon
    karen_fitzgibbon Posts: 736 Member
    Ps good luck op
  • sugaraddict4321
    sugaraddict4321 Posts: 15,884 MFP Moderator
    I don't know if anyone has said this yet or not, but if you're getting a colonoscopy you should not consume red or purple jello/popsicles. It can mess with your results, and you might have to go through the whole thing again. Just stick with the clear stuff if at all possible.
  • BodyByButter
    BodyByButter Posts: 563 Member
    edited January 2015
    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    Um, you guys are making being old scary. Aren't these things regularly scheduled when you're older?

    Who is old?

    Haha, just looked at your profile and you're older than I am!
This discussion has been closed.