Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

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  • MoHousdon
    MoHousdon Posts: 8,719 Member
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    BZAH10 wrote: »
    I really love this thread. You guys have helped me through a pretty hard time, and I have seen you help so many other people through hard times as well. People on the internet can be awful, but they can also be great. Best thread ever.

    Same here. This thread has affected my life in many ways. All good ways, which is why I struggle so much to keep up. But I have to accept that I cannot. I have to balance it out with real life, but I'll be here for as long as this thread exists!

    Same for me too. I feel like I've really gotten to know some of you really well, especially when we did the real name thing. Several hundred pages back. I've learned a lot and am very grateful for all of you. Thanks for being so accepting and friendly. Never go away, okay?!

  • FroggyBug
    FroggyBug Posts: 4,883 Member
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    I really love this thread. You guys have helped me through a pretty hard time, and I have seen you help so many other people through hard times as well. People on the internet can be awful, but they can also be great. Best thread ever.

    Agreed. :)

  • Tubbs216
    Tubbs216 Posts: 6,597 Member
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    So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).

    *Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.

    :(
    I remember that. It always stinks to lose a friendship. It was your day.

    Also, never loan money to a friend. I have been without one of my best friends for years because I loaned her something like $600 in 2004 (which I never saw again, even though she took her kids to Cancun with her tax refund a few months after the loan). Honestly, I don't even care about that money. We've been trying to rebuild the friendship over the past couple of years, and it's been really tough - even harder because I don't live in the same town anymore.
    We did it! Loaned $30,000 to our best friends so they could put the deposit down on a house. We took it out of our line of credit so it wasn't money that we could afford to lose. We knew they had a big commission coming down the pipe, but not in enough time for them to buy their dream house. They paid back every penny plus interest within a year and it cemented our 15 year friendship. We never regretted it or second-guessed it, but I suppose it could have gone badly. Sorry your friend betrayed your trust :/

  • BZAH10
    BZAH10 Posts: 5,710 Member
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    Since everyone is talking about clumsiness... Here's my clumsy story from last week:

    In the space of twenty four hours, I did the following:
    - Scraped my hand on a loose screw-end in my kitchen cabinet while putting away a container of Coke cans
    - Ripped off a nice big chunk of my knuckle and the skin of my thumb while changing a water cooler bottle (no, I don't know how I did that either)
    - Scraped and bruised my right hand by smashing it against a sharp edge in my silverware drawer
    - Cut off a piece of my thumb with a knife while chopping vegetables

    Boy, did my hands sting every time I had to use them for anything that week...

    Also, there was this one time where I got a nice huge cut on my thumb while chopping onions for sloppy joes. As I served lunch, I told my husband that I hoped he didn't mind eating part of my thumb, because it was probably in his food somewhere. I'm surprised he still ate that meal... ;)

    That's true love for you right there!
  • Tubbs216
    Tubbs216 Posts: 6,597 Member
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    BZAH10 wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).

    *Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.

    Well, now that's ridiculous! It's on HER to express her feelings to you. Eloping was your and your husbands choice only. Best friend / BFF whatever. She should know that she doesn't have preference over your wedding choices! Ugh. Sorry you're dealing with that, but this is her problem, not yours.

    Thank you. I am very disappointed that she is going with the passive aggressive silent treatment rather than being an adult and talking it out with me. I definitely told her how I felt about the situation and sincerely apologized for hurting her feelings. Oh well. I feel like I've done the right thing on my end.

    Pretty sure she's too embarrassed to say that she wanted to plan your wedding and make decisions or influence you or whatever or even live it vicariously through you. Instead of admitting that she's pouting and causing even more of a gap between you. I hope you can work through it at some point if you feel the friendship is worth it.

    I bet you are right. She is a big control freak. I am too, so I recognize the signs ;). I really love her, but I don't know if things can ever be the same after this completely ridiculous situation.
    What a shame. Communication can fix so many things, but instead she's trying to get you to guess what you did wrong?! Is she 12?
  • Tubbs216
    Tubbs216 Posts: 6,597 Member
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    FroggyBug wrote: »
    I really love this thread. You guys have helped me through a pretty hard time, and I have seen you help so many other people through hard times as well. People on the internet can be awful, but they can also be great. Best thread ever.

    Agreed. :)
    Ditto. How are you doing today, Froggy?
  • Tubbs216
    Tubbs216 Posts: 6,597 Member
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    pofoster21 wrote: »
    sngqfx8x5p1k.jpg

    Sharing a picture of Phoebe and me from Sunday. We moved up to 3' (tried a few years ago and we had a few issues, so backed down and have been working on it every since -- my issues not hers) and tried again this past Sunday. She was amazing and we ROCKED it. :)

    Plus, this is my first time trying to post a photo in here from my computer. I made it work on tablet, have never been able to figure out phone, so let's see if desktop works!
    Beautiful action shot!

  • berlynnwall
    berlynnwall Posts: 669 Member
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    FroggyBug wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    LBuehrle8 wrote: »
    JPW1990 wrote: »
    I just finished reading the "You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?" thread and now am feeling very grateful for my friends and family. I have only had good comments about my weight loss, so far. Of course, I still have a long ways to go. But man, reading that thread made me realize how rude and unsupportive some people are.

    I first got down to my normal weight nearly 20 years ago. I went from around 500 to around 175. People who didn't recognize me treated me completely differently than they did when I was big. I got smiles and courtesy, doors held open - and I don't mean flirting, it was men and women, any ages, the way they treated me was night and day. People who were absolutely cold and wouldn't acknowledge me before would go out of their way to say hi.

    Overall, I'd say that had a far bigger impact on me than the random "you need to eat a hot pocket" type comments I'd get once in a while. I'm very distrustful of people in general, now. It takes a very long time before I decide if they're actually a nice person, or if they're a "nice as long as you fit my cookie cutter mold" person. Outside of some dysfunctional family relationships, most of the comments like those in that thread will stop after people get used to seeing the smaller version of the person, but the really rude and unsupportive people are far more subtle.

    I've noticed that too, in the opposite direction. I used to be in great shape and everyone wanted to talk to me and hang out. Now I'm in not so great shape and it's like I'm invisible. People are awful.

    Sometimes I feel like this:

    gyubpbhza86b.jpg

    This makes me sad :'( I'd be your friend!

    Me too.

    Same I'd hang out with you. :)

    :) Thank you!
  • Tubbs216
    Tubbs216 Posts: 6,597 Member
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    ShibaEars wrote: »
    Confession: I'm a bad friend. My best friend is moving into a new house in a couple weeks. She created an event thing on Facebook asking people to come help them move. I have no desire to help them. I hate moving myself, why would I want to move someone else? I'm also not overly fond of her family, or her husband and his family (who will be there). What makes me feel worse about my laziness is that she's 8 months pregnant and isn't able to do any of the moving/lifting. In my defense she will have (at least) her husband, 2 brothers-in-law, 1 sister-in- law (and her boyfriend), and most likely both sets of parents moving them. So... with 7-9 people helping, do I really need to be there? I feel terrible, but I still don't want to do it.
    I don't blame you in the least, but I would probably be there, resentful and snarky (see also: birthday cake production). Perhaps you can 'hurt your back' a day or two before, but volunteer to bring lunch for everyone or something, if you feel the need to help out in some way?

  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    Not really a confession but I just have to share.

    My baby was super demanding this morning and woke up about 15 minutes earlier than usual which threw off my entire morning. I didn't get a chance to pack my lunch so I had to visit the office cafe for lunch. I chose a pretty responsible lunch but it took EVERYTHING IN ME not to grab a bag of rosemary and olive oil kettle chips. I kept running the numbers over in my head and I couldn't make it fit my deficit so I grabbed a banana with my wrap and left.

    I'm proud that I didn't buy the chips but I guess the confession is that I REALLY wanted those chips.

    Great job!!!
  • Tubbs216
    Tubbs216 Posts: 6,597 Member
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    bkhamill wrote: »
    I'm back! You people have been very talkative during my week away! I will never catch up on the 100+ pages I am behind now. I think I will just stay in the present and maybe try to read a page a day back there or something. I had a fabulous time in the Bahamas.
    Glad you had a great time!

  • raelynnsmama52512
    raelynnsmama52512 Posts: 1,184 Member
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    So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).

    *Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.

    I had a "best friend" like that. Hubby and I were originally planning our wedding for November 2011, and she was supposed to be my maid of honor and help me plan. Well, I lost my job in July that year, and since we were paying for our wedding ourselves, I couldn't do my part, so we decided to just marry in August (I covered that a few pages ago lol). She always reminded me how I "owed" her a wedding, and when we found out I was pregnant, oh god! She was adamant she was going to be present during the birth, which I reminded her repeatedly only hubby and MIL were going to be there for that. She got offended when she learned we weren't going to give Raelynn her middle name, and the final straw came after she threw a fit when she found out I'd had another baby shower, thrown by my SILs for family only, that she wasn't invited to. (She had thrown one herself just a month before that one.) I pretty much ended the friendship after that, we were at two completely different stages in life, and I wasn't about to keep putting up with that crap anymore. There were other things too, but it all hit the fan after I got married and had my kid, I guess because the "run around without a care" phase was ending, idk. It hurt like hell, and still does at times, but I know why I had to do it, and I'm at peace with that.

    You're not alone. Hugs! ❤️

  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    Not really a confession but I just have to share.

    My baby was super demanding this morning and woke up about 15 minutes earlier than usual which threw off my entire morning. I didn't get a chance to pack my lunch so I had to visit the office cafe for lunch. I chose a pretty responsible lunch but it took EVERYTHING IN ME not to grab a bag of rosemary and olive oil kettle chips. I kept running the numbers over in my head and I couldn't make it fit my deficit so I grabbed a banana with my wrap and left.

    I'm proud that I didn't buy the chips but I guess the confession is that I REALLY wanted those chips.

    Great job!!!
  • berlynnwall
    berlynnwall Posts: 669 Member
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    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).

    *Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.

    Well, now that's ridiculous! It's on HER to express her feelings to you. Eloping was your and your husbands choice only. Best friend / BFF whatever. She should know that she doesn't have preference over your wedding choices! Ugh. Sorry you're dealing with that, but this is her problem, not yours.

    Thank you. I am very disappointed that she is going with the passive aggressive silent treatment rather than being an adult and talking it out with me. I definitely told her how I felt about the situation and sincerely apologized for hurting her feelings. Oh well. I feel like I've done the right thing on my end.

    Pretty sure she's too embarrassed to say that she wanted to plan your wedding and make decisions or influence you or whatever or even live it vicariously through you. Instead of admitting that she's pouting and causing even more of a gap between you. I hope you can work through it at some point if you feel the friendship is worth it.

    I bet you are right. She is a big control freak. I am too, so I recognize the signs ;). I really love her, but I don't know if things can ever be the same after this completely ridiculous situation.
    What a shame. Communication can fix so many things, but instead she's trying to get you to guess what you did wrong?! Is she 12?

    I had to basically badger her to get her to admit she was mad at all. She was just basically ignoring me and acting standoffish when I would try to talk to her about things we would have previously chatted about. Really, really disappointing.
  • Susieq_1994
    Susieq_1994 Posts: 5,361 Member
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    MoHousdon wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    I really love this thread. You guys have helped me through a pretty hard time, and I have seen you help so many other people through hard times as well. People on the internet can be awful, but they can also be great. Best thread ever.

    Same here. This thread has affected my life in many ways. All good ways, which is why I struggle so much to keep up. But I have to accept that I cannot. I have to balance it out with real life, but I'll be here for as long as this thread exists!

    Same for me too. I feel like I've really gotten to know some of you really well, especially when we did the real name thing. Several hundred pages back. I've learned a lot and am very grateful for all of you. Thanks for being so accepting and friendly. Never go away, okay?!

    Is it too late for me to get in on that and tell everyone my name? Because I was just a lurker back then... I was just wondering about that yesterday!
  • berlynnwall
    berlynnwall Posts: 669 Member
    Options
    So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).

    *Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.

    I had a "best friend" like that. Hubby and I were originally planning our wedding for November 2011, and she was supposed to be my maid of honor and help me plan. Well, I lost my job in July that year, and since we were paying for our wedding ourselves, I couldn't do my part, so we decided to just marry in August (I covered that a few pages ago lol). She always reminded me how I "owed" her a wedding, and when we found out I was pregnant, oh god! She was adamant she was going to be present during the birth, which I reminded her repeatedly only hubby and MIL were going to be there for that. She got offended when she learned we weren't going to give Raelynn her middle name, and the final straw came after she threw a fit when she found out I'd had another baby shower, thrown by my SILs for family only, that she wasn't invited to. (She had thrown one herself just a month before that one.) I pretty much ended the friendship after that, we were at two completely different stages in life, and I wasn't about to keep putting up with that crap anymore. There were other things too, but it all hit the fan after I got married and had my kid, I guess because the "run around without a care" phase was ending, idk. It hurt like hell, and still does at times, but I know why I had to do it, and I'm at peace with that.

    You're not alone. Hugs! ❤️

    Thank you for sharing your story. Although I don't want other people to relate to this awfulness, it's nice to know I'm not alone. I am sorry you went through it too. It is really hard.

  • Kasey_Ford
    Kasey_Ford Posts: 38 Member
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    Ive been over eating to compensate, for quitting smoking


    Congratulations on a huge accomplishment!!! I quit last year, and it was incredibly difficult! You are awesome for sticking to your guns. It's natural for you to find another "habit" to replace the first, but get past your cravings first. The weight will come back off in time. Right now, celebrate a cancer-free life!!!

  • raelynnsmama52512
    raelynnsmama52512 Posts: 1,184 Member
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    MoHousdon wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    I really love this thread. You guys have helped me through a pretty hard time, and I have seen you help so many other people through hard times as well. People on the internet can be awful, but they can also be great. Best thread ever.

    Same here. This thread has affected my life in many ways. All good ways, which is why I struggle so much to keep up. But I have to accept that I cannot. I have to balance it out with real life, but I'll be here for as long as this thread exists!

    Same for me too. I feel like I've really gotten to know some of you really well, especially when we did the real name thing. Several hundred pages back. I've learned a lot and am very grateful for all of you. Thanks for being so accepting and friendly. Never go away, okay?!

    In till the bitter end!! I've enjoyed getting to know y'all, and I've gotten wonderful advice and support! I truly appreciate it! ❤️
  • riderfangal
    riderfangal Posts: 1,965 Member
    edited June 2015
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    MoHousdon wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    I really love this thread. You guys have helped me through a pretty hard time, and I have seen you help so many other people through hard times as well. People on the internet can be awful, but they can also be great. Best thread ever.

    Same here. This thread has affected my life in many ways. All good ways, which is why I struggle so much to keep up. But I have to accept that I cannot. I have to balance it out with real life, but I'll be here for as long as this thread exists!

    Same for me too. I feel like I've really gotten to know some of you really well, especially when we did the real name thing. Several hundred pages back. I've learned a lot and am very grateful for all of you. Thanks for being so accepting and friendly. Never go away, okay?!

    Is it too late for me to get in on that and tell everyone my name? Because I was just a lurker back then... I was just wondering about that yesterday!

    Go for it. I was just a lurker then too. My name is Jody :)
  • MoHousdon
    MoHousdon Posts: 8,719 Member
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    ShibaEars wrote: »
    Confession: I'm a bad friend. My best friend is moving into a new house in a couple weeks. She created an event thing on Facebook asking people to come help them move. I have no desire to help them. I hate moving myself, why would I want to move someone else? I'm also not overly fond of her family, or her husband and his family (who will be there). What makes me feel worse about my laziness is that she's 8 months pregnant and isn't able to do any of the moving/lifting. In my defense she will have (at least) her husband, 2 brothers-in-law, 1 sister-in- law (and her boyfriend), and most likely both sets of parents moving them. So... with 7-9 people helping, do I really need to be there? I feel terrible, but I still don't want to do it.

    Sounds like she will have plenty of help. Who creates an event for moving?! Weird. If you really feel like you need to help in some way, offer to bring them dinner or something during the move or once they're settled in. I would have loved that. Just a suggestion though.