Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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mudmonkeyonwheels wrote: »On the 3 hour drive home from a weekend away I stopped to buy a cold drink since my A/C is broken. I also convinced myself into buying a large pack of chippies to share with my partner since I had done a lot of mountain biking over the weekend. I ate the entire pack, by myself and even after logging my exercise was way over my calorie goal. Note to self: Do not go into supermarkets when tired!
I try to avoid going into gas stations because they are one of my weak spots. They always have giant candy bars and candy varieties that you don't see in other stores. Plus pumpkin seeds and Hostess cupcakes. Abd Coke to wash it all down. It's best for me to just not go in at all.
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Sometimes, even though I know exactly what I need to do in order to lose weight and even though I know with fair accuracy my TDEE and what is a healthy and sustainable deficit for me, I still wish I could starve myself skinny or find that magic fix, even though I know there isn't one.
I don't mind the calorie counting. I don't mind the exercise (I'm not gonna lie, I actively enjoy it). I just want results more quickly than I know is realistic. And I don't want to give up my vices, even when I know I'm actively standing in my own way by indulging in them. I don't care ^.^ you will pry my whiskey and my beer and my other indulges out of my cold, dead hands. My cold, dead, fatter-than-they-would-otherwise-be hands.0 -
I equate feelings of fullness with feeling happy.
I had never realised that this is what made me 100lbs overweight. I use food as a crutch.
Going on a diet has made me evil tempered with my family as I can't self medicate with food.
None of this makes me unique or special but I didn't realise the extent to which it affects me and I'm a bit sad about it.
I don't know whether therapy might help. there's a woman near here who specialises in weight management therapy but I always seem to have something better to spend my money on.
What's better than your mental health and happiness?0 -
BodyByButter wrote: »Confession: I get really really excited when I poop before breakfast.
LMAO! Me, too! I can count on one hand the number of times I've gotten to weigh myself "empty". I'm a 10 AM pooper, lol. True story.0 -
I generally eat whatever I feel like, but in small portions so I don't "run out" of calories. That way I can follow through on my cravings. I ate a one digiorno's pizza for dinner last night and breakfast, lunch, and dinner today. Weird or not? Also, today I bought a dark chocolate bar, ate two small sections, and then left it in my car (in 10 degree weather.) Now I am definitely not interested in going out to get more.0
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I despise scales, I never weigh myself unless I'm forced to go to the doctors. It makes me feel too pressured if I weigh myself daily, weekly, or whatever. The thing is, I never know my true weight because I have a habit of eating and drinking in the morning before I go to the doctors and I also wear these heavy combat boots 75% of the year.
Also, I hoard food. I can't have just one pack, box, tea, etc of something I like, I have to have 10 stored away in case I never see it again in stores. But I went through liking something a lot many times and having it discontinued, so that may be why I do that. I've been scarred by the food people.
One last thing. When I used to binge and purge (I'm passed that point in my life, thankfully) and get mad I did such, I stay up really late at night and wait for everyone to sleep, so I can pack up the remaining junk food in the house, take it outside to the fire pit and burn it.
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I made a delicious eggplant, zucchini and lentil curry for lunches. Then I couldn't cope with it being vegetarian and added chicken.0
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Soooo...your confession is, you're a vampire?..with cholesterol problemsItalian_Buju wrote: »kellylynrobitaille wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »kellylynrobitaille wrote: »I can't keep butter in the house. I eat it.
Like on its own?
Yes
I love the way it tastes.
Well then....I do not even think I could do that.....
I do eat some weird stuff though, one of my favorites is peanut butter and tomato sandwiches
Or I will make that a whole breakfast by adding bacon, mayo, cucumber and an egg to the PB and tomato....
Another thing, I eat my roast/steak VERY rare, like blue if I can get it that way.....and even though I have not done it in decades as I know now it is dangerous, when I was a kid, if we had any kind of beef thawing for dinner, I would save the blood from the package and mix it into plain oatmeal and eat it the next day
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MyChocolateDiet wrote: »
Soooo...your confession is, you're a vampire?..with cholesterol problemsItalian_Buju wrote: »kellylynrobitaille wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »kellylynrobitaille wrote: »I can't keep butter in the house. I eat it.
Like on its own?
Yes I love the way it tastes.
Well then....I do not even think I could do that.....
I do eat some weird stuff though, one of my favorites is peanut butter and tomato sandwiches
Or I will make that a whole breakfast by adding bacon, mayo, cucumber and an egg to the PB and tomato....
Another thing, I eat my roast/steak VERY rare, like blue if I can get it that way.....and even though I have not done it in decades as I know now it is dangerous, when I was a kid, if we had any kind of beef thawing for dinner, I would save the blood from the package and mix it into plain oatmeal and eat it the next day
Perhaps.....actually I have great cholesterol lol0 -
mudmonkeyonwheels wrote: »On the 3 hour drive home from a weekend away I stopped to buy a cold drink since my A/C is broken. I also convinced myself into buying a large pack of chippies to share with my partner since I had done a lot of mountain biking over the weekend. I ate the entire pack, by myself and even after logging my exercise was way over my calorie goal. Note to self: Do not go into supermarkets when tired!
When I read this I got irritated that I am buried in several FEET of snow.....0 -
InvaderGashloog wrote: »
Also, I hoard food. I can't have just one pack, box, tea, etc of something I like, I have to have 10 stored away in case I never see it again in stores. But I went through liking something a lot many times and having it discontinued, so that may be why I do that. I've been scarred by the food people.
I have a walk in food pantry.....the running joke is that I am ready for the zombie apocalypse......
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kellycasey5 wrote: »
Girl....if you could see me sweat it out to hip hop abs you would be embarrassed FOR me! I also flop around miserably during the ab work on my 30 day shred dvd. I tried the super man banana move from p90x and the dog barked at me. NOT a good sign lol!shawndaslim wrote: »I feel silly doing the work out videos I'm embarrassed at my self then get discouraged and quit. I'm also too embarrassed of myself to even go to the gym i don't like all the stares please help.
Since this is NO JUDGEMENT..... MY CONFESSION:
I wear my regular bra then a sports bra over it because I don't fit in my regular bras anymore and am too ashamed to get fitted for a bigger one
I LOL"ed about the dog barking, that's classic. I flop around miserably at yoga sometimes, that b-word on the TV makes it look so easy, the whole while my legs are screaming!
I wear two bra's also, my regular ones fit, but I have too much boob flop, I"m going to black an eye!
Confession: Today was my husbands birthday, so I made him peanut butter cup bars...I went over my intake by 2 calories because I ate one with the steak dinner I made for him. I'm only slightly ashamed of this.0 -
I just weighed my ice cream and I hate myself for it. Not because I ate the ice cream but because I weighed it before I ate it. I never thought I'd become so obsessed with food. But hey... I'm halfway to my goal.1
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acquilla30 wrote: »
They do and they are delicious. I think they may be a seasonal item for Valentine's Day. I'm not sure if you can get them out of the US or not. They just put them out at the grocery store today
Oreos are an evil genius for making red velvet. *drooling*...hmm maybe if I walk to the store, I will burn enough calories to eat them
Only 140 calories for 2! Haha
I looked for these last week, but they weren't in yet. I pretty much love red velvet anything. Cals are pretty steep, but I will probably look for them again this week anyways. And try to keep to 2 servings at a time. Or just eat a whole row and leave the rest in the break room at work. Ha!
ETA: Red velvet cupcakes are on special this week for V-Day, but only by the dozen. Looks like the break room will have a lot of treats this week.
Found and bought the red velvet oreos today. Going to see how long I can go without opening them. Luckily, there were no RV cupcakes. I will mentally log that as a win.0 -
I have been reading this thread for a few days, and really enjoying seeing that I'm not the only one who has secrets... I have been wondering which of my issues I should share, and then this morning this happened...
I cried after getting on the scale and seeing that I have put on 1.2lb this week.0 -
9 weeks out of 10 I go over by calorie goal by between 600 and 1000 calories. Yet I generally don't put on weight (I haven't lost the 4lbs gained over Christmas/New Year, but that's by the by). I realise this must mean my calorie expenditure is higher than I've set it on MFP, but I don't change it because I'm worried I will then just exceed the new higher goal by another bucketload of calories and then I WILL really start gaining weight. I eat well, lots of fruit, veg, different proteins, reasonable amounts of carbs, and I have treats regularly, plus I exercise a lot; I feel generally my habits are good. But I still don't put up the MFP goal.0
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Every couple weekends, I keep from making any plans to leave the house, and I eat laxatives and colace every couple hours, switching off. This started when my doctor told me to get these items to try and ease abdominal pain I was having, residual to scar tissue and nerve damage from numerous surgeries since I started on MFP.
Even though I told her at the time that I cannot have them in my house due to bulimia and struggling to use them responsibly, she told me to use them... and I let the excuse of medical necessity be reason enough to buy them. I got huge bottles, because they were mix-and-match buy 1 get 1 at Walgreens. I felt like no one would take my pain seriously if I refused to follow through with bowel "rest" as she put it.
I don't do it every day, or every weekend, but when I do, I lose 5-8 pounds because I basically only eat pills and drink water. I know that this is like a little bulimia vacation, so to speak, and it's not a good thing, but I find it easily justifiable.0 -
I also figure I should admit... I'm so big (and this is not body dysmorphia talking here) that I can't imagine I'll ever be appealing to anyone. Sometimes, it gets so lonely... All I want sometimes is someone that can see past how rough I've been with my body, and consider me beautiful.
I have panic attacks sometimes, thinking about the fact that I'm in my 30s, and getting to a normal size of any type seems so impossible. I think I'm too late to do anything worthwhile, and that I will die alone. Ha.1 -
Thread killer! LOL0
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You guys know that red velvet is just chocolate with lots of red food coloring and cream cheese icing?0
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I have panic attacks sometimes, thinking about the fact that I'm in my 30s, and getting to a normal size of any type seems so impossible. I think I'm too late to do anything worthwhile, and that I will die alone. Ha.
Just to say that there will be someone out there for you. Heck, there are probably lots of people out there for you! There is no reason that you have to die alone.
I didn't mean that to come off as patronising. I just couldn't let your comment go without saying something.0 -
enmouvement wrote: »last night i went out and had beer and poutine. then was sad about it. then realized it was actually delicious and i really don't care
Confession: Six years after being first introduced to it... Nope, I still don't like poutine. It's actually edible and quite nice *before* they dunk the sauce on top.
Glad you enjoyed yours though
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I'm so sick of others asking me. Oh, you trying to lose weight cause of medical reasons. No, I'm trying to lose weight cause I am fat and I want to be healthy. How's that? If I wanted to be mean, I should say, maybe you should try it too. Why do people small or big, take the time to look and see what I am eating for lunch? Oh, is that all you gonna eat, you taking this diet thing seriously. I cant eat anything without people making smart remarks or jokes. But you know what, watch me as I get healthier because I want to. Later, when you are sick or need to lose weight. You will be asking me for advise.
Does anyone else have this problem?
I don't get this but I do get, what do you want to lose you're going to disappear. Or a few years ago I had lost tons of weight and felt fantastic. People said I looked sick and THAT used to make me so angry. My cousins would jokingly say I'm starting to look like a crack head. I didn't let it bother me. I figured they were just jealous because their fat *kitten* wished they looked like me....lol. It is NEVER okay to insult anyone over their weight, fat or thin?0 -
acquilla30 wrote: »
They do and they are delicious. I think they may be a seasonal item for Valentine's Day. I'm not sure if you can get them out of the US or not. They just put them out at the grocery store today
Oreos are an evil genius for making red velvet. *drooling*...hmm maybe if I walk to the store, I will burn enough calories to eat them
Only 140 calories for 2! Haha
I looked for these last week, but they weren't in yet. I pretty much love red velvet anything. Cals are pretty steep, but I will probably look for them again this week anyways. And try to keep to 2 servings at a time. Or just eat a whole row and leave the rest in the break room at work. Ha!
ETA: Red velvet cupcakes are on special this week for V-Day, but only by the dozen. Looks like the break room will have a lot of treats this week.
Found and bought the red velvet oreos today. Going to see how long I can go without opening them. Luckily, there were no RV cupcakes. I will mentally log that as a win.
OPEN THEM! LET ME LIVE THROUGH YOU!!!1 -
I also figure I should admit... I'm so big (and this is not body dysmorphia talking here) that I can't imagine I'll ever be appealing to anyone. Sometimes, it gets so lonely... All I want sometimes is someone that can see past how rough I've been with my body, and consider me beautiful.
I have panic attacks sometimes, thinking about the fact that I'm in my 30s, and getting to a normal size of any type seems so impossible. I think I'm too late to do anything worthwhile, and that I will die alone. Ha.
Nope, I had lots of sex while fat, and I wasnt "cute" fat either. And I have stretchmarks and LOTS of scarring. You'll find someone who is interested in all you have to bring to the table.
I have an anxiety disorder, and if you havent gotten on meds for that shiz yet, do so, immediately. Sometimes I just embrace the fear, pat it on the head, and continue on with my life.
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CaffeinatedConfectionist wrote: »Sometimes, even though I know exactly what I need to do in order to lose weight and even though I know with fair accuracy my TDEE and what is a healthy and sustainable deficit for me, I still wish I could starve myself skinny or find that magic fix, even though I know there isn't one.
I don't mind the calorie counting. I don't mind the exercise (I'm not gonna lie, I actively enjoy it). I just want results more quickly than I know is realistic. And I don't want to give up my vices, even when I know I'm actively standing in my own way by indulging in them. I don't care ^.^ you will pry my whiskey and my beer and my other indulges out of my cold, dead hands. My cold, dead, fatter-than-they-would-otherwise-be hands.
Oh, yeah. Totally me. Switch the whiskey and beer over to margaritas and long islands, and we're twins.
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I also figure I should admit... I'm so big (and this is not body dysmorphia talking here) that I can't imagine I'll ever be appealing to anyone. Sometimes, it gets so lonely... All I want sometimes is someone that can see past how rough I've been with my body, and consider me beautiful.
I have panic attacks sometimes, thinking about the fact that I'm in my 30s, and getting to a normal size of any type seems so impossible. I think I'm too late to do anything worthwhile, and that I will die alone. Ha.
I don't know if it will help to hear this or not, but I had the same exact concerns in my 30s. So much so that the panic had faded into resigned misery. But when I was 38, I found someone who loves me fat, thin (ish), and even fatter than I was before. I'm not saying it happens for everyone, but it *does* happen sometimes.
I like to think of it as, you and that person who's right for you (and you're right for them) are just taking your sweet-a** time finding each other, for some reason. You're both out there circling around and eventually you'll coincide. What it be great if you could get to each other faster? Heck yeah.
Fwiw, though, I hope you feel worthwhile and good about yourself with or without a partner. We all deserve that.
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Every couple weekends, I keep from making any plans to leave the house, and I eat laxatives and colace every couple hours, switching off. This started when my doctor told me to get these items to try and ease abdominal pain I was having, residual to scar tissue and nerve damage from numerous surgeries since I started on MFP.
Even though I told her at the time that I cannot have them in my house due to bulimia and struggling to use them responsibly, she told me to use them... and I let the excuse of medical necessity be reason enough to buy them. I got huge bottles, because they were mix-and-match buy 1 get 1 at Walgreens. I felt like no one would take my pain seriously if I refused to follow through with bowel "rest" as she put it.
I don't do it every day, or every weekend, but when I do, I lose 5-8 pounds because I basically only eat pills and drink water. I know that this is like a little bulimia vacation, so to speak, and it's not a good thing, but I find it easily justifiable.
I want to hug you with the best, warmest hug.
1
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