What nobody tells you about losing weight
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1)All the mixed feeling when you meet new people, who have no idea how big you used to be and everything else that comes with being bigger(how your style/confidence,etc. have changed.
Sometimes I feel like it's a dirty secret, a skeleton in the past. Other times - by biggest success and proudest moment.
2)Also that I'm still going to be ashamed to show new friends the comparison photos.
3) That it's way harder and tiring mentally than physically.
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How jealous people get who are overweight but don’t want to make changes. They shoot your happiness down.13
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dutchandkiwi wrote: »Nobody told me what it can do to the rest of my life.
When I started this journey about 5 years ago I was not in a good place;
I was in a job i liked in many ways and was not happy with in many others. On top of that 5 years ago my work was going through a restructuring phase and many well loved co-workers lost their jobs. I know I was safe as my charge-ability was well above average, but still it shook me to my cor. i felt very much out of control of my life/career and unhappy with the situation. this showed in my weight and meant a downward spiral.
I decided that what was happening to me required me to take charge of the one thing I could control and that was me. The first year went reasonably well Just taking a little more care, starting to walk to work, it did the trick for a little while.
Just under 4 years ago I started logging on MFP. I had noticed before that logging always had helped me, but had never been able to find an easy way. I decided on a 3 month no added sugar break. Just to rid myself of some bad habits of over indulging and the’h it is only 1 (or 4) cookie.
I increased my walking and went on my journey.
It brought me what I wanted; weightless and with it self-confidence that there was something I was in control of and that started to spill over in other parts of me. I allowed myself to consider that what was happening at work had been earth shattering for me and that the result of the restructuring was simply a very bad fit for me. I needed something else., but what.
Let year with the help of external work related contacts and talking with them I found the confidence to start a 6 month post grad course (at 48!) OMG did I love that course the subject had a vague relationship to my job but really in showed me that I was capable of more than I could show at work and that I craved new things and learning. At the time I was not only studying I also held my job, though reduced to 4 days a week. It was a very hard course (involved a lot of advanced physics) and with my over the top workload and an under staffed department I have had my I need to cry moments.
Six months later I graduated and I felt exhilarated. Not only had I achieved a new diploma, but in the process I still had maintained my logging and lost a few kgs to boot.
While I was still waiting for my results I saw a job that just too perfect for words and a major step up in my career. Just one problem; I only met about half of the requirements.
My newfound confidence made that instead of saying “I don’t qualify”, send in y application strongly focussing in my letter on what I could offer and I felt they needed. Much to my amazement I was invited to an interview.
Yesterday I had my going away party for the ill fitting job. On december 1st I am starting that incredible job.
This summer I met my maintenance goal and I know that taking control of me, finding MFP as a tool, the support that I found here, plus my sports and lots and lots of walking has helped me to get there.My first step was finding my confidence back and that is what the weightless did.
So what nobody tells you really is that the weightless journey is part of a bigger journey and if you are willing to open up to that journey more amazing things can happen.
Wow! What an incredible and inspiring story. Thanks for sharing and congratulations,
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kbivins1031 wrote: »How jealous people get who are overweight but don’t want to make changes. They shoot your happiness down.
Literally experienced this the other day. It's like you lost the weight and put it on them or something and should be blamed for their struggle.14 -
No one told me that when you're tall and have a decent amount of weight to lose, your clothing size won't change much. I had lost 45 lbs last year and only went down one pant size. Probably didn't help that I had been stuffing myself into clothes too small for me to begin with. Needless to say it crushed me. How can you lose so much weight but still fit the same clothing?
This exactly...I have lost 42lbs and have gone down 1 UK size from 18 to 16!!!! Have 25lbs more to go til middle of healthy BMI...will I ever be small????
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LizinLowell wrote: »No one told me that when you're tall and have a decent amount of weight to lose, your clothing size won't change much. I had lost 45 lbs last year and only went down one pant size. Probably didn't help that I had been stuffing myself into clothes too small for me to begin with. Needless to say it crushed me. How can you lose so much weight but still fit the same clothing? It kinda defeated me and I gained it all back. I am back on the wagon, 24 lbs down (1/4ish the way there) and not going to let that stop me now that I know it'll take a bit more for me to see a difference.
I'm 5'8" and I experienced this too! I must have been stuffing myself into my 14s because I lost 40 pounds and I'm still only in 12s lol. Oh well! My mom is 5"3" and she always said "Every ten pounds is a size" Uh, nope!
Yep, no way is 10 pounds one size down- I'm 5'3"- have lost 18 lb. from a 40lb. goal- started in a snug 16-now in a snug 14- So 18 pounds to get down a size. I honestly think it will take another 20lbs. more to get down to a 12-
But some of us ladies just need more room for our voluptuous lower halves.7 -
I think my face is going to look older once it deflates more- I'm 60 and had decent skin and few wrinkles- now I'm seriously starting to see lots of them-bummer- but at least I'll have good cheekbones! And yes, I already use really good skin care products so I guess I'll get what I get!7
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Jancandoit7 wrote: »I think my face is going to look older once it deflates more- I'm 60 and had decent skin and few wrinkles- now I'm seriously starting to see lots of them-bummer- but at least I'll have good cheekbones! And yes, I already use really good skin care products so I guess I'll get what I get!
Haha same here! Now I have circles under my eyes, before I suppose there were fat cushions! Thank god for concealers But I'm very happy my eyelids god 'skinny', so my eyes look bigger !4 -
gymprincess1234 wrote: »Jancandoit7 wrote: »I think my face is going to look older once it deflates more- I'm 60 and had decent skin and few wrinkles- now I'm seriously starting to see lots of them-bummer- but at least I'll have good cheekbones! And yes, I already use really good skin care products so I guess I'll get what I get!
Haha same here! Now I have circles under my eyes, before I suppose there were fat cushions! Thank god for concealers But I'm very happy my eyelids god 'skinny', so my eyes look bigger !
Yeah I hear ya. My body looks great but my face looks really gaunt. All that fat on my face before gave me a bit more of a youthish look... Oh well still wouldn't want to gain the weight back.7 -
Jancandoit7 wrote: »I think my face is going to look older once it deflates more- I'm 60 and had decent skin and few wrinkles- now I'm seriously starting to see lots of them-bummer- but at least I'll have good cheekbones! And yes, I already use really good skin care products so I guess I'll get what I get!
Same here 72 look ok with makeup but I'm glad I'm a healthy weight, no BP meds now and stronger thanks to cardio and weights exercise
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gymprincess1234 wrote: »kbivins1031 wrote: »How jealous people get who are overweight but don’t want to make changes. They shoot your happiness down.
Literally experienced this the other day. It's like you lost the weight and put it on them or something and should be blamed for their struggle.
Isn’t that strange?? People who are supportive generally and love me will look at me and not say a word. Some will say something mean about my clothes or shoes, and skip over the 80 pound loss. My favorite is the diet lecture from people who are fatter than I am—my diet is unsustainable or unhealthy, etc.. Why aren’t they just happy for me? I asked one family member how much weight she had lost, and when she told me I told her how good she looked, how great it was that she had gotten so far, etc. and she said NOTHING about me. I never would have expected that.
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pennoxford wrote: »
Why aren’t they just happy for me?
I get the ones who don't say anything. Some of my closest friends would only say 'you look amazing' when I post a picture, or 'Good job' when I mention my weight loss progress. Otherwise they think and know it's quite a sensitive topic to a lot of people. One friend told me she didn't want to ask me how I lost the weight, cause she was afraid I might be ill, cause the initial loss was so big.
For the others.. maybe they don't want to mention your weight loss, because they are ashamed to talk about their, or just pure jealousy.
Anyways, it's a tricky thing. Never in my life thought weight loss would impact existing friendships and relationships, but boy I was wrong. I think it's the fact you succeeded in something, that makes others reflect about themselves, maybe makes them feel bad - they lack your determination, motivation or strength to do something.
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Jancandoit7 wrote: »I think my face is going to look older once it deflates more- I'm 60 and had decent skin and few wrinkles- now I'm seriously starting to see lots of them-bummer- but at least I'll have good cheekbones! And yes, I already use really good skin care products so I guess I'll get what I get!
When I was thinner, I def had more wrinkles. If I get that thin again, I'm going to treat myself to facial fillers/botox whatever!1 -
While I was fat, my body was changing/aging. So I was trim in my twenties and up to mid-thirty. I'm now losing weight in my late forties and the body under that fat is a surprise/shock! I realise now that I was expecting to go back to what I was. Weird. I just found a dent in my thigh that Google explains is probably an injury site that was hidden under subcutaneous fat. And my now-thinner upper arms have fat wings. Lovely! You mean I have to diet AND exercise?16
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Sooooo many things...but here's just a few:
How that "swollen" look (in your face/neck/arms and over all your body really) disappears slowly but surely--you start looking so much healthier and "cuter" too.
How your arms go from flabby (underneath, when you swing them (batwings?)...the fat literally hangs and swings and looks and feels not too good) to getting muscle on top of your arms (biceps?) even if you're not exercising nor lifting weight...muscles still start forming as you lose weight/fat (at least it does for me--I've got what they call "guns" now--these "guns" were produce BEFORE I started exercising now, I just started moderate/low level exercising recently) and again, the flab underneath start disappearing as you lose fat--that is sooo much FUN to see and feel.
How for years the mirror and taking pictures was to be avoided at all cost, too painful/scary/discouraging to look at yourself or be photographed--no more, now it's FUN to be included in pics and looking in the mirror is fun now too.
How now, when you're looking for something to wear, a lot of your old clothes are super loose or too big, where before the journey, everything was too tight or just looked/hanged awful on you. Now, all those outfits and clothes you purchased maybe years ago are looking/hanging fabulous on you--that is SUPER FUN!
How you increase your smiling more and more as each new day goes by, so much more smiling now (on the inside and out) and it's no longer a smile of "grinning and bearing it"...but instead it's a smile of JOY, strength and genuine cheerfulness. Smiling is soooo much FUN!
You entire outlook on what's fun, cool and important completely changes--I LOVE that!
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That I would look for more ways to be active.9
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One of the best things is when I hear 'Welcome to the gun show' by In This Moment I get this uncontrollable urge to flex9
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Hungry_Shopgirl wrote: »Nobody told me that regardless of how much I lost, it would not be enough to please everybody.
I'm tall, western, and live in Asia. I also happen to speak the local language, which the lady behind me at the supermarket checkout obviously didn't imagine as she chatted up the checkout girl with phrases like: "Look at this fat foreigner. And she's buying so much chicken! No wonder she's huge".
So many things went through my head. The main one was: "Lady, you think I'm huge now, you should have seen me 50 lbs ago!" But the truth is I'm at a healthy BMI, I'm lighter, more toned, fitter than I've ever been in my entire life. And yet it was still not enough to make the random stranger not look down on me and my food choices.
I know it shouldn't bother me, but really, I felt gutted.
This happens to me as well. I'm 5'5 and am now in the low 140's for weight so I'm not large by any means. I'm actually the shortest of my friends and don't stick out like a sore thumb from being so overweight anymore! However I'm Albanian and well, Albanians are tiny. I have so many aunts refer to me as a "large woman". Mind you they're all under 5' and I probably do look huge to them but it's still so rude to say. I've just learned to say "kitten you" in my head and smile at them and move on haha. It's still a bit discouraging though. Moments like that make me wish I was only 5' and had tendencies to stay small, but I'm glad for my "height" (lol I'm not even tall) and I'm glad the Albanian short genes somehow bypassed me!14 -
When I realized size L was way too big and had to ask for size M .. disappointed did not find the size but it was a bitter sweet moment13
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