What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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Did anyone's hands get more veiny? I feel like I've just noticed it, but my hands are super veiny, and if I lay my hand flat, they bulge! I've always had fairly prominent veins (the blood donation people love me) but I'm not used to them being so prominent in my hands!11
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joyanna2016 wrote: »While many of you are excited about how your shrinking breasts are opening up new bra opportunities, let me tell you about the other side of that coin that "nobody told me about losing weight". I have lost a cup size from a C to a B and I am NOT happy about it! I feel self conscious about this change when I'm with my husband.
TMI coming up...
A few years ago, my wife and I lost weight together. She was self-conscience of the same thing. After a while she realized that it was simply part of the whole weight loss process. I did not care, actually, I kind of liked it. I am married to her and will never see other breasts, (that's not a bad thing). It was kind of fun to have something different. I have always enjoyed her at every size and shape, from spilling out of her bra to flat and hanging. I love her and really don't care about the perfect beasts.
So, to let you know... they are breasts and your husband is a man. I'm positive he is happy. Don't let this be something to come between your intimacy with each other. Nobody is perfect so please quit comparing. Comparison is the thief of joy.
I hope this helps to hear from a man's prospective.
Keep up the good work.
I also don't think we express our love and gratitude enough. Thank you to everybody for sharing the ups and downs of this journey. I come here to get motivation and inspiration. I love to hear about all of our trials and successes.
I have a list of things I have noticed but for some reason I feel like I need to be at goal before I share. I will share one of them.
I love to track my weight and look at the calendar and try to figure out what my weight will be at a given point in time if I keep it up. I realized that I am always looking forward to some milestone. It seemed like I was waiting to be happy. I realized I am happy right now. I feel so much better right now than I did just pounds ago. I feel in control of my life and body right now, not just when I am at my goal weight.
Take care everyone, Remember, we are not in this life alone. I look forward to your frustrations and successes.85 -
I have a long way to go. Thanks for sharing everyone. I know that most people I know look at me and say why bother.24
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meowysmiling5779 wrote: »I have a long way to go. Thanks for sharing everyone. I know that most people I know look at me and say why bother.
Please don’t believe that. Many (I hope most) people are impressed by someone having the courage to try and improve themselves ESPECIALLY if it seems like it will be a long road.16 -
meowysmiling5779 wrote: »I have a long way to go. Thanks for sharing everyone. I know that most people I know look at me and say why bother.
You don't have to worry, people are so focused on themselves that even if they were to say something, they are saying it because there's something inside them that's insecure, and they burst out with something mean to reassure themselves of their own insecurities. Most of the time, though, we try to make reality out of our own thoughts, and it is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves, projected onto others. So, please don't tell yourself "why bother". You deserve it because you're here now, trying.
Weight loss is such a personal journey that it really only matters if you personally feel you deserve it or not, so even if it feels like a lie in the beginning, tell yourself that you deserve it
The person you want to worry about is you. When you get better at it (and it takes practice, I still struggle a lot, but I'm getting better), what other people might say becomes a lot less important.21 -
meowysmiling5779 wrote: »I have a long way to go. Thanks for sharing everyone. I know that most people I know look at me and say why bother.
For me, anytime I see anyone working at weight-loss I think "You go girl, you can do this!"
In the end, who gives a rats behind about what anyone thinks of you---you do what's best for you and disregard what anyone thinks.14 -
nixverstehen wrote: »joyanna2016 wrote: »While many of you are excited about how your shrinking breasts are opening up new bra opportunities, let me tell you about the other side of that coin that "nobody told me about losing weight". I have lost a cup size from a C to a B and I am NOT happy about it! I feel self conscious about this change when I'm with my husband.
TMI coming up...
A few years ago, my wife and I lost weight together. She was self-conscience of the same thing. After a while she realized that it was simply part of the whole weight loss process. I did not care, actually, I kind of liked it. I am married to her and will never see other breasts, (that's not a bad thing). It was kind of fun to have something different. I have always enjoyed her at every size and shape, from spilling out of her bra to flat and hanging. I love her and really don't care about the perfect beasts.
So, to let you know... they are breasts and your husband is a man. I'm positive he is happy. Don't let this be something to come between your intimacy with each other. Nobody is perfect so please quit comparing. Comparison is the thief of joy.
I hope this helps to hear from a man's prospective.
Keep up the good work.
I also don't think we express our love and gratitude enough. Thank you to everybody for sharing the ups and downs of this journey. I come here to get motivation and inspiration. I love to hear about all of our trials and successes.
I have a list of things I have noticed but for some reason I feel like I need to be at goal before I share. I will share one of them.
I love to track my weight and look at the calendar and try to figure out what my weight will be at a given point in time if I keep it up. I realized that I am always looking forward to some milestone. It seemed like I was waiting to be happy. I realized I am happy right now. I feel so much better right now than I did just pounds ago. I feel in control of my life and body right now, not just when I am at my goal weight.
Take care everyone, Remember, we are not in this life alone. I look forward to your frustrations and successes.
Thank you...I needed to hear this!13 -
Back in '07 I lost 50 lbs, taking me from a size 12 to a size 2. This time I'm losing 60 lbs taking me from a 16 to a 4. Currently I'm between a 12/14. I'm 5'4.
- Being cold
- My butt bones (below a 6) being uncomfortable when seated in the bathtub
- LOTS more romantic attention (mostly for me at a 10 and below)
- Some friends are very supportive, some are jealous. Some of the overweight ones think that my weight loss has something to do with them, which it does not
- I used to get upset about unexplained, overnight weight gains, then I remembered that I have my period again because I stopped taking the birth control that was preventing it, so now I have to consider my monthly cycles
- Smaller sizes means buying new clothes, my bra size is down 1 band and 2 cups!
- I feel more compassionate towards myself and others
- I feel more creative and productive
- My libido is higher
- Weight fluctuations are a bit of a curiosity/mystery to solve now and not an apocalypse. For example, I charted my period and saw that the couple of pounds I gained overnight was due to ovulation. Sometimes gains, or stagnant weight, mean the need to switch up something. I play the detective to find out why my weight isn't moving in the downward direction and take action rather than getting upset.
- I began expanding as a person, for example, I'm doing fun things I never would have considered doing before
- Psychology is so important, I see now that weight loss is as much a mind game as it is about fitness and food. For example, I struggled for years to find a "why" that truly motivated me through thick and thin. What I discovered is that my "why" is actually a library of them. Whenever I'm in a situation that requires motivation I look into my library of "whys", which are all great, and find the one that best speaks to my need in that moment. There was never one powerful, overarching WHY that was so impressive to me that it always worked perfectly. I like this library approach to picking a why that works in the moment.19 -
Finding my belly button again.
And I'm so dang cold at work now6 -
RelCanonical wrote: »meowysmiling5779 wrote: »I have a long way to go. Thanks for sharing everyone. I know that most people I know look at me and say why bother.
You don't have to worry, people are so focused on themselves that even if they were to say something, they are saying it because there's something inside them that's insecure, and they burst out with something mean to reassure themselves of their own insecurities. Most of the time, though, we try to make reality out of our own thoughts, and it is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves, projected onto others. So, please don't tell yourself "why bother". You deserve it because you're here now, trying.
Weight loss is such a personal journey that it really only matters if you personally feel you deserve it or not, so even if it feels like a lie in the beginning, tell yourself that you deserve it
The person you want to worry about is you. When you get better at it (and it takes practice, I still struggle a lot, but I'm getting better), what other people might say becomes a lot less important.
I know I need to work on this ^^ I project my own view of myself onto others, and tend to read in their words or actions what I'm expecting to see based upon my own perceptions and not necessarily what they are really saying. But if I think about it, I don't go around judging larger people and usually don't really think much beyond noting it as a brief fact - the same sort as noting eye color, hair color, height, or whatever. It's simply a fact that is filed away and I don't often find myself making a judgment. So if I'm that way, why do I expect people around me to treat me any different?
Besides, most people will cheer on those who are trying to improve themselves. You'll run into a few who will make snide comments because jealousy or their own insecurity, but really, those types are few and far between.
And if you ARE surrounded by such negative, mean people, I'd say you need a new social circle!8 -
RelCanonical wrote: »Did anyone's hands get more veiny? I feel like I've just noticed it, but my hands are super veiny, and if I lay my hand flat, they bulge! I've always had fairly prominent veins (the blood donation people love me) but I'm not used to them being so prominent in my hands!
Yep, definitely! Especially after an arms workout my hands are crazy looking. If I want to take a nice photo of my manicure I hold my hand over my head for a minute first, so they look more “girly.” But mostly I like my crazy veins, they are a sign of strength!
When I was obese they could never find a vein, to the point that I once had to have emergency medication given intramuscularly because they gave up. At my last blood draw, the phlebotomist didn’t even put the tube around my arm, she just swooped right into my vein which was already visible.4 -
RelCanonical wrote: »Did anyone's hands get more veiny? I feel like I've just noticed it, but my hands are super veiny, and if I lay my hand flat, they bulge! I've always had fairly prominent veins (the blood donation people love me) but I'm not used to them being so prominent in my hands!
My arm, whilst quietly working from home:
It never used to be particularly vascular.9 -
@RelCanonical True grit.
We can't worry too much what others think about us. We can't be afraid to say what we really think or believe. It creates active avoidance and it all boils down to being scared of whether people like you or not.
If you find yourself constantly doing what others tell you to do and thinking the way others tell you to think, you risk knowing who you really are.
Think about why you care. Know that people don't normally care all that much about your food and exercise regimen. Most of the people in my small corner of the world don't care about it or even want to talk about it.
Find your own group of people. Birds of a feather. That's what MFP is for me. A place to mill around and shoot the breeze and share what really matters to us. We do care about all of this are we wouldn't be here on the daily, year after year. Posting and tooling along as we go down the highway.9 -
rheddmobile wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »Did anyone's hands get more veiny? I feel like I've just noticed it, but my hands are super veiny, and if I lay my hand flat, they bulge! I've always had fairly prominent veins (the blood donation people love me) but I'm not used to them being so prominent in my hands!
Yep, definitely! Especially after an arms workout my hands are crazy looking. If I want to take a nice photo of my manicure I hold my hand over my head for a minute first, so they look more “girly.” But mostly I like my crazy veins, they are a sign of strength!
When I was obese they could never find a vein, to the point that I once had to have emergency medication given intramuscularly because they gave up. At my last blood draw, the phlebotomist didn’t even put the tube around my arm, she just swooped right into my vein which was already visible.
Good to know the holding over the head part! I think that's why they might have been a bit more veiny, because it was just after a walk where my hands were down and I was also getting my blood flow up with minor exercise.3 -
Diatonic12 wrote: »@RelCanonical True grit.
We can't worry too much what others think about us. We can't be afraid to say what we really think or believe. It creates active avoidance and it all boils down to being scared of whether people like you or not.
If you find yourself constantly doing what others tell you to do and thinking the way others tell you to think, you risk knowing who you really are.
Think about why you care. Know that people don't normally care all that much about your food and exercise regimen. Most of the people in my small corner of the world don't care about it or even want to talk about it.
Find your own group of people. Birds of a feather. That's what MFP is for me. A place to mill around and shoot the breeze and share what really matters to us. We do care about all of this are we wouldn't be here on the daily, year after year. Posting and tooling along as we go down the highway.
The neat thing is that not caring as much about whether people like you, tends to have the effect of people liking you more. People like confidence and good self-esteem. It can be tiring to be around someone who is so affected by what others might think, because they're afraid that anything they say could potentially hurt the other person. When you're confident, they feel more comfortable being themselves as well. And, if two personalities don't work, it's okay, because it's okay that some people just aren't going to like you or what you do with your life.9 -
Our mileage may always vary. Like sandpaper, we rub the rough edges off of one another.
It's affection not perfection that matters.
10 -
RelCanonical wrote: »Diatonic12 wrote: »@RelCanonical True grit.
We can't worry too much what others think about us. We can't be afraid to say what we really think or believe. It creates active avoidance and it all boils down to being scared of whether people like you or not.
If you find yourself constantly doing what others tell you to do and thinking the way others tell you to think, you risk knowing who you really are.
Think about why you care. Know that people don't normally care all that much about your food and exercise regimen. Most of the people in my small corner of the world don't care about it or even want to talk about it.
Find your own group of people. Birds of a feather. That's what MFP is for me. A place to mill around and shoot the breeze and share what really matters to us. We do care about all of this are we wouldn't be here on the daily, year after year. Posting and tooling along as we go down the highway.
The neat thing is that not caring as much about whether people like you, tends to have the effect of people liking you more. People like confidence and good self-esteem. It can be tiring to be around someone who is so affected by what others might think, because they're afraid that anything they say could potentially hurt the other person. When you're confident, they feel more comfortable being themselves as well. And, if two personalities don't work, it's okay, because it's okay that some people just aren't going to like you or what you do with your life.
... and the congregation says, "amen."
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joyanna2016 wrote: »nixverstehen wrote: »joyanna2016 wrote: »While many of you are excited about how your shrinking breasts are opening up new bra opportunities, let me tell you about the other side of that coin that "nobody told me about losing weight". I have lost a cup size from a C to a B and I am NOT happy about it! I feel self conscious about this change when I'm with my husband.
TMI coming up...
A few years ago, my wife and I lost weight together. She was self-conscience of the same thing. After a while she realized that it was simply part of the whole weight loss process. I did not care, actually, I kind of liked it. I am married to her and will never see other breasts, (that's not a bad thing). It was kind of fun to have something different. I have always enjoyed her at every size and shape, from spilling out of her bra to flat and hanging. I love her and really don't care about the perfect beasts.
So, to let you know... they are breasts and your husband is a man. I'm positive he is happy. Don't let this be something to come between your intimacy with each other. Nobody is perfect so please quit comparing. Comparison is the thief of joy.
I hope this helps to hear from a man's prospective.
Keep up the good work.
I also don't think we express our love and gratitude enough. Thank you to everybody for sharing the ups and downs of this journey. I come here to get motivation and inspiration. I love to hear about all of our trials and successes.
I have a list of things I have noticed but for some reason I feel like I need to be at goal before I share. I will share one of them.
I love to track my weight and look at the calendar and try to figure out what my weight will be at a given point in time if I keep it up. I realized that I am always looking forward to some milestone. It seemed like I was waiting to be happy. I realized I am happy right now. I feel so much better right now than I did just pounds ago. I feel in control of my life and body right now, not just when I am at my goal weight.
Take care everyone, Remember, we are not in this life alone. I look forward to your frustrations and successes.
Thank you...I needed to hear this!
Just to add a little something (a bit crude though) . . . my husband always says that more than a handful is wasted! He would agree with everything that @nixverstehen has said. My husband has seen me at all the sizes from massive to tiny over the last 32 years and it doesn't bother him. Talking about it helps as well, if it's bothering you that much. You'll probably find that your husband doesn't care about what cup size you are, he married you for YOU, not your breast size.14 -
Willpower and motivation are limited resources. It takes more than good intentions.
In some ways we are fighting against our own biology. The body adapts to what we're doing because we are all bent on survival. Got plateaus? The body is just sitting there on idle. The engine is still running but it's conserving your energy and protecting you. You can't get mad or upset because dropping it like it's hot is not all it's cracked UP to be. Your skin will hang like a shar-pei dog if you put the pedal to the metal.
There are some biological adaptations that are hard wired into our DNA. There's not enough food resets, reboots and realignments that will fix that vehicle. Look yourself directly in the eye. Face the truth. It's always good to know what we're really up against.
6 -
It's not just about losing weight but losing the lifestyle and mindset that got you there.
I didn't lose the weight, I've released it because I have no intentions of finding it again.
When you feel like giving UP, remember......You are too darned smart to be the only thing standing in your way.
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FoolishJoy wrote: »ExistingFish wrote: »I did not notice a reduction in allergies with weight loss. That sucks.
My boobs shrunk, but not enough to but inexpensive OTR bras. I'm still a 30E/32DDD. What I consider 'small' still isn't really absolutely small. So their droopy AND I still have to shell out large sums of money for support. I was as high as a 32N/34M. 30E is comparatively small.
Granted at least you can order 32DDD bras online from regular brands/stores. They just don't often have them in stock.
Double H here. I don't think losing weight is gonna ever allow me to buy inexpensive bras.😂
Alas, weight loss has allowed me to find an abundance of cheap bras, since I have no chest and apparently most of those who need a 34A don’t shop in the adult women’s underwear section 😂
Upon bringing my new bounty of clearance bras home, I made a disturbing discovery—the 34 band easily closes on the amallest row of hooks on a brand new bra with little to no stretching. Uh oh. That means after a few months/washings they’ll be too big. They were the smallest ones Target had in the adult section that I could find 😓. Hopefully post COVID resupply will bring some 32s, so I don’t have to go to the girls’ section.7 -
Nobody told me I would be surprised by my own anatomy.
There have been a few people here worried about 'lumps' that turned out to be bones.
In my case, I wondered what the hard lump was halfway down the midline of my chest. Turns out it's the xiphoid process, a part of the sternum which, in my case, sticks out forwards a bit. Phew!
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Enjoy some of the comments I cant wait to feel and look pretty awesome again5
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Since we’re sharing... nobody tells you, “you’ll be able to towel dry your entire behind so easily whenever you get out of the shower when you lose weight.” But yeah, no acrobatics required anymore for a dry butt crack
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Nobody told me I would be surprised by my own anatomy.
There have been a few people here worried about 'lumps' that turned out to be bones.
In my case, I wondered what the hard lump was halfway down the midline of my chest. Turns out it's the xiphoid process, a part of the sternum which, in my case, sticks out forwards a bit. Phew!
If you used to be obese, it’s not unusual for your xiphoid to “pop” forward to accommodate your belly. Then when you lose weight it looks odd. But chances are good it will gradually return to it’s normal position, mine did after about a year.13 -
You can have the answers to everything and still not be able to do anything.
Don't overthink it.7 -
rheddmobile wrote: »Nobody told me I would be surprised by my own anatomy.
There have been a few people here worried about 'lumps' that turned out to be bones.
In my case, I wondered what the hard lump was halfway down the midline of my chest. Turns out it's the xiphoid process, a part of the sternum which, in my case, sticks out forwards a bit. Phew!
If you used to be obese, it’s not unusual for your xiphoid to “pop” forward to accommodate your belly. Then when you lose weight it looks odd. But chances are good it will gradually return to it’s normal position, mine did after about a year.
Yeah, I was very surprised to read about that. I wonder if the 'popping back' depends on age since the xiphoid process ossifies by 40 years old or so (I have a few years left) 2 -
They do actually tell you that when you lose weight, your health markers will improve.
I just found out mine did. More than I thought they would. I have been monitoring my blood pressure at home, so I've watched that improve over my weight loss and stay healthy in maintenance. I hadn't been to my doctor since before I lost weight, so I got to compare blood tests finally.
Kind of odd, though: My total cholesterol is hardly changed, but my LDL (bad cholesterol) dropped 45 points from being borderline high to being optimal. My HDL went up 50 points, perhaps to compensate. Maybe that HDL is still working to get the LDL out of my system. Triglycerides also dropped 20 points.13 -
lemonsurprise wrote: »Wanted to make this thread for motivationial purposes more than anything but they don't all have to be super positive! More of what came as a surprise. I'll start..
- how much confidence it will actually bring, especially when strangers start treating you like royalty all of a sudden!
- Sitting (particularly in baths) and laying (particularly in beds) will become ever increasingly uncomfortable.
- how vain you will become! I can't walk past a mirror without checking how I look nowadays!
Your turn!
I absolutely love this post, this is so accurate especially the mirror!!! (from past experience haha not now) Thank you for this post, its amazing. I see around 800 people everyday at work and you obviously get to know people and some people you just nod at or w/e .. amazing how many people want to talk to me or suddenly show an interest.. mad that isn't it.0
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