What nobody tells you about losing weight
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midsummer174627 wrote: »sashayoung72 wrote: »JessiBelleW wrote: »sashayoung72 wrote: »That I would become somewhat (a lot) judgemental about others food choices. I'm so sorry!!! I just want to help (i don't say anything out loud) But when the lady at work is cramming a 1000+ calorie meal in her piehole (yes I looked it up on mfp) and complaining about HOW SHE CAN'T SEEM TO LOSE WEIGHT it's so hard to not say then put that down.
I want to lead everyone to MFP but it's the horse to water thing right?!
Maybe you could gently point out to her that the meal she is eating is probably half of her daily calories? That way you aren't saying "put that down" but you are giving a wake up call
I've said some "gentle" suggestions, like setting myself as the example, "i can't believe I could eat 2 cupcakes from this store they were 750 EACH" but the specific lady that can't seem to lose weight also tells me how chia seeds have ALL THESE HEALTH BENEFITS.....and then, she poured them in her milkshake......
What you're doing sounds right; all you can do is set an example.
I'm going to gently say....set the example - silently. No one is ready until they are ready and you being ready for them won't work. It's a kindness to listen, sometimes ad nauseam, and maybe be there at the moment the seed can be planted.26 -
Nobody told me.... I'd view a Zone Perfect protein bar as a tasty dessert and enjoy it as much as a couple of cookies or a brownie. It's not perfect nutrition, but it's a 200 calorie bar with a dessert taste, protein and vitamins! And nobody ever told me I'd crave red cabbage!20
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Nobody told me I'd stress out if I was running low on blueberries, tomatoes, or avocado.26
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People might not comment on your weight loss because of me... I lost 30 lbs a few years ago because I had a surprise brush with death. When people would say "Wow you lost weight, how did you do it?" and I'd say "Well, a week in the hospital and a brush with death was all it took!" I really don't like people commenting on my body and tying your worth to your weight. I've been a size S and I've been a size 3X - and I'm still the same person inside. I'm not worth more as a size S and not worth less as a 3X.41
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That people will always have something to say about how you're losing weight. Not everyone is positive, some people will judge you and think they know better. I've learned to keep my journey to myself or in person around friends/family that are supportive; definitely off of social media altogether (except for this place of course
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I now have a very bony neck. My drysuit has a neoprene neck seal, and getting it tight is a nightmare. I leak frequently through it - today's dive was very damp. The water temperature was 12 Celsius, and I lasted an hour before needing to thumb it.
When I was larger, getting a good neck seal was very easy. I didn't leak much at all.
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@drmwc
As you know, those neoprene seals are picky. You have to make sure they get rolled in for them to be water tight. At least they don't rip like the latex seals I use. Maybe it's time to get a new neck gasket installed - a smaller size. Even if the one you have isn't worn out yet, being dry when the water is cold is really nice.7 -
Telling yourself that you're fasting when you're really not is a complete disconnect for the brain.
I'm weighing in on this because generally speaking Time Restricted Eating is almost always called Intermittent Fasting or IF. Using a set window that you consistently use to eat all of your meals every single day is TRE. Intermittent Fasting means irregular intervals of fasting.
All of these disconnects for the brain are cumulative. Over time, there's a track running in the back of your brain telling you that 'fasting' and more fasting is more restriction. These cumulative disconnects for the brain result in eating it all back and starting over and over and over again and not ever reaching that elusive dream weight.
Don't tell yourself you're fasting when you're not. Don't tell yourself that you're not restricting food when you really are. Trying to pull the wool over your own eyes will only dig you into a much deeper hole with food. Coming or going, wild swings back and forth and UP and down with your weight.
Don't tell yourself it's not really a diet when it really is. Don't tell yourself that calories don't count when they really do. Don't tell yourself the scale doesn't matter when you know that you actually care about it. Don't tell yourself that your clothes tell you everything you need to know about yourself because spandex does stretch.
Don't start none. Won't be none.
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@Diatonic12
We all fast every night at least while we sleep. Some people eat in the morning and call it breakfast. Break the fast. Some don't eat right away; their breakfast may not be until 11:00 or 13:00. It's just a word.
Words do have power, so if that word is causing trouble for you, don't call it fasting. I have to "fast" for ten to 12 hours before getting bloodwork when I go to get my annual physical. It's just a word.
If your goal is losing weight, then the scale does matter. If the scale doesn't matter, you aren't trying to lose weight. And if you are trying to lose weight, then calorie restriction to create a deficit is clearly required.
I hope you can find some words that work in your head and help with making your journey not just successful but also enjoyable. Intermittent fasting seems to work for some people as a way to help maintain a calorie deficit. There was one guy that asked me to be his friend that seems to have wandered away that was doing pretty much one giant meal per day of things like sausage or hamburgers. He was creating a deficit. It worked for him. I don't think he called it fasting. I think he called it OMAD (one meal a day). That would NOT work for me.
I really hope you explore and find what works for you. It seems "fasting" isn't it.
See you down the path. We're all trying to head to a healthier us. I want to see you there!21 -
No one told me that my skin would stay relatively clear after going from 126 to 115lbs.6
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It's not the word 'fasting' that gives me a pinch.
I don't fast, haven't fasted and won't fast. If you're eating every single day you're not fasting either.
Example: This is not a diet but a food elimination protocol. There are all kinds of slick marketing tricks used for dieting that mean exactly the same thing. The word 'diet' is replaced with alternative words to take away the sting of the word 'diet'. It's still a diet at the beginning and end of the day.
The body reset. The reboot. The cleanse....
When you tell yourself it's not a diet, this is not a diet but it's exactly the same thing as a diet with alternative words used for everything the brain will try to wrap itself around those concepts. That's the brain's job to make sense out of nonsense.
It you continue telling yourself it's not a diet but the brain knows the truth of the matter it creates a disconnect.
When you tell yourself you are fasting but you're simply taking a break between meals like you've always done since the days of childhood you create a disconnect. These add up over time and the brain makes a course correction.
These course corrections can sneak right up on you. You won't even know what's happening until the eating it all back phase comes knocking on your doorstep. The brain is the master controller and it knows a master cleanse from a homecooked meal.
You can call it a way of life, a journey or a nutraceutical odyssey but the brain wants straight talk.
If it weren't so there would be no such thing as rebound weight gain with friends. Your Intermittent Fasting journey would be conducted one time until you reach your dream weight. One fasting reboot protocol would fix everything for you. Until it doesn't. OMAD's chickens have come home to roost and they're mad because it's slim pickins out there in the yard.
Disconnects matter. The brain wants straight talk and direction every single day. The minute you start coasting and flying by the seat of your pants that would be the brain taking you on another ride so you will forget everything you've ever done or learned about reboots, resets, cleanses, fasts and diets.
Straight talk. CICO. Improved and consistent dietary compliance will get you there. The brain can handle the truth about everything. It knows what hunger is. It's bent on survival and will make any course correction it wants to make sure that you survive. Don't hand it no lines.
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@Diatonic12 I think perhaps you could just change your post to read "Don't tell myself..." instead of "Don't tell yourself..." assuming it applies to everyone. I certainly don't have any brain disconnect or issue with any of the things you listed, and based on the reactions you've received, it appears I'm not the only one. If you have difficulty squaring these terms in your own head, that's fine, but that doesn't make it an issue for everyone else. 🤷♀️20
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What nobody tells you about losing weight.
The body sometimes speaks more powerfully than words. The power others possess or even their words possess is the power we give them. Their power is only our perception of their power.
My perception of dieting and starting over and over and over without finding long term, permanent weight stability is based on my own power. Continually dieting or intermittent fasting and then eating it all back sets up a fight, a battle inside and that is the definition of disconnecting.
The more you try not to have something, the more you want it. Even though we try to convince ourselves that we're choosing to restrict certain foods or food groups the brain does believe it's being deprived. Even if you're trying to convince your mind it's for your own 'good' or overall health it's just another disconnect.
Reinforcing mental deprivation with constant dieting or intermittent fasting with a whole bunch of strict food rules messes with your head. Let go of all of the food rules and regulations.
CICO. Straight talk. It has a biological and mental advantage over all of the rest. You can have what you want every single day. I've given myself permission to be my own authority with freedom to choose what I want. Constantly dieting robs you of your freedom to choose.
Being free to fulfill our potential distinguishes us. We can't lose ourselves while 'losing' weight.2 -
No one told me that somewhere along this journey I would become my parents (whom I considered a bit odd when I was a teen
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1. I eat a ginormous salad every day for lunch. And I make sure to have a healthy portion of protein with it to make sure to stay full while eating a large volume of food. Yep. Definitely thought my parents were so BORING eating the same stinkin’ thing every day for lunch. Turns out I don’t like their kind of salads. By mine? (I have a few different varieties I tend to rotate through every few months) DELICIOUS. SO DELICIOUS. It works well to eat a large portion of my veggies for this meal. Makes planning dinner for the family a bit easier. I find that getting the veggies in my body is more important than overly stressing about the “proper” way to eat them. I make them delicious and sometimes that means pan fried potatoes and over easy eggs go on top of all those greens. YUM.
2. I workout 5x a week, these days it’s more for mental & physical health than the weight loss/muscle building. I do enjoy being strong, but my mental health and longevity of life are what bring me downstairs to the basement or outside to move and play.
3. I drink almost a gallon of water daily. Just. Like. My. Dad. I feel physically better when I do this and when I feel better physically, my mood is better.
4. Which is the last bit...it took me a long time to put together that all these things my dad has done for his entire life have not only been to maintain health of body but also health of mind. For me (and apparently it runs in the family) the two are intricately connected and truly “the time will pass anyway”. Even in the years when I was having babies and never gaining any true progress I just kept on keeping on because the time was going to pass anyway...might as well keep making steps toward health. Might as well eat those veggies, drink that h2o and move my body today...I’ll feel better today, and today is what matters.
5. I lied. One more thing no one ever mentioned that I would eventually not really care about all that stuff I thought I could never live without. I kept the chocolate. That fits into the calorie budget daily. But a lot of stuff landed in the “not really worth it” category. Like the store bought cake mentioned in the comments above...not worth it. Blueberries and strawberries covered in fresh whipped cream? worth it. 27 -
No one told me it would hurt when I sit for a while, because I have less natural padding now...16
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diet1
/ˈdʌɪət/
the kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats.
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I feel better. I no longer have diabetic foot pain or shooting pains up to my knees. I can bend down and over without feeling stiff, achy or feeling tired. After weeks of learning to put it all together, I understand macros and training much better and feel an energy balance that was a downward spiral before. I took note of things such as fitting into brand new bras I bought almost 2 years ago, thinking I was still the same size and didn't fit into them until now. I noticed that my tummy doesn't jut out as much and just looking smaller overall. My posture is better, I don't struggle to get up and down, especially the stairs. Where I used to struggle, I now find myself doing a little sprint. I haven't gone down a size in clothing but preparing for it because I love my jeans and t shirts or a sweater. Money is tight so the budget comes first. I've always been that way, so I'm not trying to hide anything. I insist on having my meals planned and budgeting for groceries, preferring to stick to stuff that isn't slop but a step up in my cooking skills, so I honor my need for variety, a bit of creativity and doesn't leave me frustrated. It's much easier to let it flow and keep going once I've just got it all figured.
If I have an extra nibble or two, I don't care. I don't beat myself up about it. That's what the journey is. Detours, mix ups, found the right path now there's a fork in the road. One day it's a sunny walk, the next a slippery run on a bad day. Stick to training I enjoy, understand my macros and it opens up your journey from a narrow alley to a 4 lane highway.
Thanks to everyone for sharing their insights. Hugs and fudge cake 🥳.27 -
springlering62 wrote: »ixchelkeshet wrote: »How hard it is to lose weight or feel motivated when you are older. It takes forever. And you have to work around chronic injuries.
Very respectfully disagree. When I had kids and a full time job, that was the time I was unmotivated. In retrospect, I wish it hadn’t been, but that’s the sad truth.
With kids grown and gone and (involuntary) retirement came the freedom and motivation to do things for me.
Because I was motivated, and invested in and enjoying the process of “me” as my latest project, the time seemed to go by really fast. (Or maybe that was age, lol!)
It was chronic pain that actually made me shake my butt in gear. I had the choice of taking arthritis meds now, and worrying that they would be less effective later, when I might need them more, and thyroid meds for chronic tiredness that made my re-evaluate.
I had dabbled in yoga for years and knew it helped with joint pain. So I Extended my slow morning stretch to thirty minutes a day, and stepped up the yoga, eventually working my way to a moderately advanced practice.
The joint pain isn’t gone, however, it is much more manageable. The GERD (acid reflux) From Hell vanished with the first ten pounds lost.
I would challenge you to think what making even small changes can do for you versus finding reasons to do nothing at all.
Said with much love from a former Master of Finding Reasons to Remain on My *kitten*.springlering62 wrote: »ixchelkeshet wrote: »How hard it is to lose weight or feel motivated when you are older. It takes forever. And you have to work around chronic injuries.
Very respectfully disagree. When I had kids and a full time job, that was the time I was unmotivated. In retrospect, I wish it hadn’t been, but that’s the sad truth.
With kids grown and gone and (involuntary) retirement came the freedom and motivation to do things for me.
Because I was motivated, and invested in and enjoying the process of “me” as my latest project, the time seemed to go by really fast. (Or maybe that was age, lol!)
It was chronic pain that actually made me shake my butt in gear. I had the choice of taking arthritis meds now, and worrying that they would be less effective later, when I might need them more, and thyroid meds for chronic tiredness that made my re-evaluate.
I had dabbled in yoga for years and knew it helped with joint pain. So I Extended my slow morning stretch to thirty minutes a day, and stepped up the yoga, eventually working my way to a moderately advanced practice.
The joint pain isn’t gone, however, it is much more manageable. The GERD (acid reflux) From Hell vanished with the first ten pounds lost.
I would challenge you to think what making even small changes can do for you versus finding reasons to do nothing at all.
Said with much love from a former Master of Finding Reasons to Remain on My *kitten*.
Thank you for the encouragement and for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I have found it challenging to be unable to do the exercise I loved when I was younger, running. But I did find a work-around that's really working, using a stepper while sitting down. It is so easy to do an hour a day, that I look forward to it. And the great thing is that it so quickly strengthened my weak knees. Acknowledging that I can no longer lose as quickly is for me a strength, because I can deal with what's real.
I am not retired, but with the health emergency, I am on indefinite telework and this has increased my time for thinking, opportunity for focus, and ability to control what and when I eat. I am building new habits and am grateful.14 -
That you end up with a disconnect between the size you think you are and the size you actually are. Due to covid I've been buying clothes online (although shops are open the changing rooms aren't so I wouldn't be able to try them on even if I went to the shops). I've been struggling to believe what the sizing charts tell me (I *can't* be a small, surely?) and have ended up with clothes which, although they're smaller than my old ones, are still decidedly loose. This morning I've finally ordered some smalls so finger crossed!38
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@ixchelkeshet I also miss running but there's so many other things I can still do4
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Laying in bed thinking you are laying on a remote control and realizing its your ribs!
Going from walking through ikea trying not to look in the mirror to stopping at every mirror not recognising yourself.
Going into designer clothes shops and buying clothes that fit!28 -
Not sure if this is from weight loss or my body just getting weird....
My leg seems to go to sleep quicker when I lay on my side on the couch in the evening6 -
Nobody told me I'd become the type of person who likes to take pictures of my food. It just seemed outside my character. However it's hard not to when a salad, for example, contains so many colors and interesting textures that it's a true pleasure to behold! Not only that but I've started using THE GOOD dishes. It's more fun when I make a bit of an event out of my small, flavorful, nutrient packed meals. I still love to cook and I still love to eat, just not as much at any given time.26
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Nobody told me I’d become obsessed with yoga wear.
I’ll be SOL if I put any of the weight back on.19 -
Showing my husband how to do a spiderman pushup yesterday. That's right, hubby. Daaaammmnn indeed.20
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How rewarding it is to nail a move in a workout that I believe I’m still struggling with. Really?? That was it?? HA! That’s where I measure the strength gained.
I couldn’t do a push up at all a few months ago. I could lower myself fractionally, and then collapse to the ground. There was no in between. While I still have a long way to go, I can lower myself at a controlled speed and hold that bent-elbow plank long enough to move legs or middle for some wonky push-up variant.25 -
What no one will tell you:
Everyone here, and I mean EVERYONE, thinks they have the answers and secret to success. I learned the hard way that the only thing that will work for me is the diet and plan that were meant for me. It will take some experimentation with yourself to figure out what works for you. That's the only way anyone loses weight, they do what's best for them.19 -
That in fact, others who have gone down this road before really do have a lot to teach you. And while not all advice is equally helpful, some of it actually is - which is why I read these forums. And that evidence based practices really do work.42
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