Lame Jokes. And I mean REALLY lame.

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  • pecanbeth1
    pecanbeth1 Posts: 5 Member
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    Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted. (assaulted)
  • Rivers2k
    Rivers2k Posts: 380 Member
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    Two brownies are in the oven. One brownie says to the other "wow its hot in here." The other brownie shouts "aaaaahhhhh a talking borwnie"
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    Rivers2k wrote: »
    I love corney jokes /otherwise known as dad jokes!!

    What do you call wood with nothing to do...Board

    What kind of dog can tell time ... a watch dog.

    Grasshopper walks into a bar and the bar tender says "we have a drink named after you." The grass hopper says "really you have a drink named Steve?"

    My all time favorite joke
    What did the Zen Budhist say to the NYC hot dog vendor.... Make me one with everything!!!

    So true! Dad jokes! I miss my dad's corny ways!
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    My son's favorite:

    What do you call a penguin on the moon?




    LOST!
  • pecanbeth1
    pecanbeth1 Posts: 5 Member
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    Rivers2k wrote: »
    Two brownies are in the oven. One brownie says to the other "wow its hot in here." The other brownie shouts "aaaaahhhhh a talking borwnie"

    I almost said this one. But it was muffins. "Holy crap, a talking muffin!" :smile:

  • marvybells
    marvybells Posts: 1,984 Member
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    Why is Ireland the richest country in the world?

    Because it's capital is always Dublin!
  • AgentOrangeJuice
    AgentOrangeJuice Posts: 1,069 Member
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    Why'd the pollock take a car door with him into the desert? So he could wind the window down when he got hot.
  • AgentOrangeJuice
    AgentOrangeJuice Posts: 1,069 Member
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    Why was Hellen Keller's leg yellow? Her dog was blind too!
  • Rivers2k
    Rivers2k Posts: 380 Member
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    How does an ethnocentric person change a light bulb. They hold up the light bulb and wait for the world to revolve around them :smile:
  • AgentOrangeJuice
    AgentOrangeJuice Posts: 1,069 Member
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    Knock Knock

    Who's there

    Boo

    Boo Who?

    Don't cry, it's just me
  • AgentOrangeJuice
    AgentOrangeJuice Posts: 1,069 Member
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    Knock Knock

    Who's there

    Lettuce

    Lettuce Who

    Lettuce in and you'll find out
  • Rivers2k
    Rivers2k Posts: 380 Member
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    This one might get me beat up.

    Why does a woman where white on their wedding day. So they can match the other kitchen appliances.

    I don't really believe this please don't hurt me.
  • klkateri
    klkateri Posts: 432 Member
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    This one is my own creation.... ENJOY!!

    Q: Where do Arctic Lesbians like to hang out?
    A: At the Klondike Bar!!
  • Rivers2k
    Rivers2k Posts: 380 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    My son's favorite:

    What do you call a penguin on the moon?

    LOST!

    I am so corny I literally LOL at this.
  • YanskaNY
    YanskaNY Posts: 103 Member
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    Did you hear about the giraffe who walked into a bar?

    He said " Hey everyone! The High Balls (Hi Balls) are on me!" :)
  • cskone38
    cskone38 Posts: 50 Member
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    So, a dyslexic man walks into a bra........
  • Texasgntlman
    Texasgntlman Posts: 50 Member
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    This one is fun to do to people.. Ask if they like a good knock-knock joke.. They say "sure"
    Then you say "ok- you start it.." They say "knock-knock" ...you say "whose there?" -then laugh :)
  • fernandesg
    fernandesg Posts: 54 Member
    edited March 2015
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    What do you call a fish with no eyes? ..... A fsh

    Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? ..... Because the 'P' is silent.

    Where did Napoleon keep his armies? ..... In his sleevies

    Two dyslexics walk into a bra......

    :wink:
  • Rivers2k
    Rivers2k Posts: 380 Member
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    what do you get when you mix a dyslexic, agnostic, philosopher.... someone who sits around contemplating the existence of dog
  • Texasgntlman
    Texasgntlman Posts: 50 Member
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    What do you call a dog with no legs?
    It doesn't matter-he won't come anyway

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