Lame Jokes. And I mean REALLY lame.

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  • raisealittlehell
    raisealittlehell Posts: 341 Member
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    What do you call a cow with no legs?

    Ground Beef
  • Nuka_Gina
    Nuka_Gina Posts: 92 Member
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    What do you get when you mix poison ivy with a four leaf clover???




    A rash of good luck!!!
  • williams969
    williams969 Posts: 2,528 Member
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    What did the fish say when he bumped into a wall?



    Dam(n). :D
  • Reinventing_Me
    Reinventing_Me Posts: 1,053 Member
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    In for lame jokes :smile:
  • kr1stadee
    kr1stadee Posts: 1,774 Member
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    The jokes that my 5 year old think are THE best ever!

    "Wanna hear a joke? ... I fart you choke"
    followed immediately by
    "wanna hear another? ... I fart you smother"

    And this, ladies and gentlemen, is my dainty princess LOL
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    A baby seal walks into a club.

  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    A man sees a dog licking its privates and says "Man, I wish I could do that."
    His friend replies, "Maybe you should pet him first."
  • TeaBea
    TeaBea Posts: 14,517 Member
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    What has 8 legs and 8 eyes?

    8 Pirates
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    A priest, rabbi and minister walk in to a bar .. the bartender says "what is this, some kind of joke?"

  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    Old woman tells old man right before having sex "Remember, I have acute angina."
    Deaf old man replies, "I hope so, cuz your boobs have seen better days."
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    Old woman yells at old man. "Hey, do you want super sex?"
    Old man replies. "I'll take the soup."
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
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    tincanonastring wrote: »
    A horse walks into the bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?"

    lol, I was going to add that one.

    What does Meryl Streep do with her Academy awards?
    I dunno, I'll Oscar.

    (I saw that on Ellen's Facebook)

  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    tjcuipylo wrote: »
    how many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

    Ten!
    Ten tickles.

    Brilliant.
  • xMrBunglex
    xMrBunglex Posts: 1,121 Member
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    What do you call 53 guys watching the Super Bowl on TV?






    The Denver Broncos
  • mikeshockley
    mikeshockley Posts: 684 Member
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    String walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey! Get out! We don't serve your kind!"

    String leaves, ruffles his ends and ties himself in the middle. Walks back into the bar. Bartender says, "Hey, aren't you that string I just told to leave?" String says, "No, I'm a frayed knot".

    :p
  • Evenstranger
    Evenstranger Posts: 69 Member
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    What's brown and sticky?

    A stick.
  • nanaoftwo0614
    nanaoftwo0614 Posts: 59 Member
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    An airplane pilot said, "If we have a bad landing, it's not the co-pilots fault, it's not the stewardesses fault, it's the ASPHALT!
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    haleklausen wrote: »
    A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street. The priest sees a twelve year old boy walking to the corner. The priest says lets *kitten* him. The Rabbi says oughta what?

    OH! "out of what?" Got it.

  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    Rivers2k wrote: »
    How does an ethnocentric person change a light bulb. They hold up the light bulb and wait for the world to revolve around them :smile:


    :(
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?



    A Brazilian

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