Lame Jokes. And I mean REALLY lame.

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  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
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    How could George Washington throw a silver dollar across the Delaware?

    Money went further in those days
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
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    I told my doctor that when I woke up in the morning I couldn’t stand looking at myself in the mirror. He said, “At least we know your vision is perfect.”

    What does an annoying pepper do? It get’s jalapeño face

    My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

    Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

    “Knock knock”
    “Who’s there?”
    “Europe”
    “Europe who?”
    “No you’re a poo!”


    When’s a good time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
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    What do you call a Rabbit who was raised in a home and never leaves?

    An in-grown Hair (Hare)
  • AmandaLipphardt
    AmandaLipphardt Posts: 80 Member
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    A dyslexic walks into a bra...
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
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    I love corny jokes, I am that Dad, embarrassing my kids was always fun
  • tincanonastring
    tincanonastring Posts: 3,944 Member
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    What time did Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?
    About ten-ish
  • deucemon69
    deucemon69 Posts: 647 Member
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    why did the cowboy get a dauchsund? So he can get a long little doggie
    what do you call a man with no nose and no body? nobody knows
    what do you call an alligator wearing a vest? an investigator
    what did the one goldfish say to the other in the tank? you man the gun I'll drive
    why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender
  • AgentOrangeJuice
    AgentOrangeJuice Posts: 1,069 Member
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    A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants, the bartender says "Hey Pirate! you've got a steering wheel in the front of your pants!" The pirate responds

    ARGHHHHH! IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS!
  • AmandaLipphardt
    AmandaLipphardt Posts: 80 Member
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    What do you call a man in a tree holding a suitcase? A branch manager
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    I stayed up all night wondering where the day went. Then it dawned on me.
  • JSurita2
    JSurita2 Posts: 1,304 Member
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    Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? FO DRIZZLE
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    Did you know grapes don't fight back when you step on them? They do wine a little bit though.
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
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    Why do elephants paint their toe nails red?

    To Hid in Cherry trees.

    Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

    Works doesn't it
  • Just_Ceci
    Just_Ceci Posts: 5,926 Member
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    Why was 6 afraid of 7?
    Because 7 8 9.
  • deucemon69
    deucemon69 Posts: 647 Member
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    what did the one fish say to the other after hitting a wall? dam
  • JSurita2
    JSurita2 Posts: 1,304 Member
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    A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
  • JSurita2
    JSurita2 Posts: 1,304 Member
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    Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
    Brunette: "I don’t know."
    Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
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    a big guy walks up to a little guy knocks him down and says that was karate from japan. Little guy gets up and brushes himself off. the big guy knocks him down and says that was ta kwon do from korea. Little guys again picks himself up and brushes himself off. Once again the big guy knocks him down and says that was Kung fu from China. Little guy picks himself up and tells the big guy to wait a minute I will be right back. Little guy leave and comes back in a few moments and BAM right in the back of the head of the big guy. Little guy gathers the people who had been watching all of this and says, when he wakes up tell him that was crowbar from Wal-Mart.
  • tjcuipylo
    tjcuipylo Posts: 21 Member
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    where do cows go for their first date?

    the mooooooooovies!
  • AgentOrangeJuice
    AgentOrangeJuice Posts: 1,069 Member
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    A Brunette, a red head and a blonde were at the hospital about to give birth.

    The Brunette says "I was on top so I'm going to have a boy"

    The red head says "I was on bottom so I'm going to have a girl"

    The Blonde starts crying uncontrollably "I'm going to have puppies, waaaaaaa"

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