always friendzoned - advice?

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  • HardcoreP0rk
    HardcoreP0rk Posts: 936 Member
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    I dont know about you specifically, but it's been my experience that guys who get friendzoned over and over again are ending up in that spot because they date and pursue girls who are hopelessly out of their league. These women enjoy the company and comfort and then move on to something "better" later.

    Maybe it isn't you, but it's the women you go after?
  • HardcoreP0rk
    HardcoreP0rk Posts: 936 Member
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    Kalici wrote: »
    slideaway1 wrote: »
    What some people consider the Friend zone, others just see as playing the long game. Just try to put a more positive slant on it ;) .

    No. If you are going to be friends with someone be friends with them. Playing the long game isn't being friends it is being manipulative and dishonest and I don't think that is something to be proud of.

    +1


    Totally agree with that.
  • HardcoreP0rk
    HardcoreP0rk Posts: 936 Member
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    Slacker16 wrote: »
    Best advice I can give you:

    Don't ask women for advice, they have no idea how dating works for men. Don't ask men who have been married for a long time either, they've forgotten whatever game they may have once had.

    Ask guys who pull a lot, especially if they're not incredibly good looking.

    Seems like he "pulls" just fine, but can't make it last.
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris Posts: 502 Member
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    amyrebeccah, I understand that no matter what I say, you will not like it and will take an adversarial approach in your replies to me. That's ok, I am not upset by it. I do hope you feel better.

    If you politely let a man know that you are not interested in him and he continues the behavior, you very well may have to be firm/rude/curt/short or whatever with him so he understands.
    If he still will not stop then you need to get away from him and possibly get some outside help.
  • fatcity66
    fatcity66 Posts: 1,544 Member
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    gothchiq wrote: »
    lol! No hipsters allowed! With your hairy faces, your long whiskers, your little tiny feet, your sawdust bedding... wait. Hamsters. No HAMSTERS allowed.

    cute-hamster-21.jpg

    Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!!
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris Posts: 502 Member
    edited April 2015
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    yopeeps025 wrote:
    Or you can always let someone random in public know. If you had some woman come up to you say that (insert "stupid person") is harassing what would you do. My vote is sometimes you fight fire with lava.

    BTW I never had a situation like that come up but I know for a fact that I would teach harasser whats really good with who he harasses.

    I have intervened in multiple situations. Not as macho-man stuff, but more like, "Hey man, dial it back. She's not into you." And then only after checking with the woman to make sure it was ok.

  • fatcity66
    fatcity66 Posts: 1,544 Member
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    amyrebeccah wrote: »
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »
    amyrebeccah, I understand that no matter what I say, you will not like it and will take an adversarial approach in your replies to me. That's ok, I am not upset by it. I do hope you feel better.

    If you politely let a man know that you are not interested in him and he continues the behavior, you very well may have to be firm/rude/curt/short or whatever with him so he understands.
    If he still will not stop then you need to get away from him and possibly get some outside help.
    I cannot possibly imagine how I could have mischaracterized you as condescending. Will you ever forgive me for my ovary-driven hysteria?

    Sarcasm factor 10. LMAO
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris Posts: 502 Member
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    amyrebeccah, Am I condescending, or am I reciprocating?

    Ultimately, all I can do is try to address what was a part that I left out but you brought up. And, while you won't like it, perhaps someone else may find it useful: if a man will not honor a polite request, if he ignores a firm refusal, and then begins to escalate, get away from him. Do what you have to do, whether it's just walking away or driving off or screaming and running. Usually your vibes will be pretty accurate.
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris Posts: 502 Member
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    You seemed angry.
  • slideaway1
    slideaway1 Posts: 1,006 Member
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    I've been in nightclubs with a group of mates and a few of the shy and quiet ones (even when intoxicated) have gone up to a group of girls etc to chat/introduce themselves etc and have been brutally humiliated by these girls. The kind of stuff that you can not laugh off (if your a bit sensitive/reserved etc) and will probably stay with them forever. Woman in these situations hold all the power (in the same way that men sort of hold the power in the street by whistling/swearing etc at girls) and I've seen friends destroyed by girls because they had the audacity to try and talk to them and even compliment them on a night out. Tough world we live in.
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris Posts: 502 Member
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    slideaway1 wrote: »
    I've been in nightclubs with a group of mates and a few of the shy and quiet ones (even when intoxicated) have gone up to a group of girls etc to chat/introduce themselves etc and have been brutally humiliated by these girls. The kind of stuff that you can not laugh off (if your a bit sensitive/reserved etc) and will probably stay with them forever. Woman in these situations hold all the power (in the same way that men sort of hold the power in the street by whistling/swearing etc at girls) and I've seen friends destroyed by girls because they had the audacity to try and talk to them and even compliment them on a night out. Tough world we live in.

    Absolutely. I've been on the receiving end and seen it happen to others. And it sucks but you can't take it personally. Hey, at least she let's you know straight away.
  • slideaway1
    slideaway1 Posts: 1,006 Member
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    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »
    slideaway1 wrote: »
    I've been in nightclubs with a group of mates and a few of the shy and quiet ones (even when intoxicated) have gone up to a group of girls etc to chat/introduce themselves etc and have been brutally humiliated by these girls. The kind of stuff that you can not laugh off (if your a bit sensitive/reserved etc) and will probably stay with them forever. Woman in these situations hold all the power (in the same way that men sort of hold the power in the street by whistling/swearing etc at girls) and I've seen friends destroyed by girls because they had the audacity to try and talk to them and even compliment them on a night out. Tough world we live in.

    Absolutely. I've been on the receiving end and seen it happen to others. And it sucks but you can't take it personally. Hey, at least she let's you know straight away.

    It then creates a cycle of already shy/nervous (But perfectly brilliant people) to want to avoid this kind of pain, so become even more shy/introverted etc by avoiding approaching/chatting to girls/guys. I think the message is that we should try to be kinder to each other. But, in the real world, people will always be rude/ignorant etc. I think self confidence comes in when you realise that you can talk to anybody, nobody is better than you and it should be their privillage to hear what you have to say. Don't be intimidated by anybody.
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris Posts: 502 Member
    edited April 2015
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    amyrebeccah, you're still doing it.

    I am trying to not sound like I am talking to a child, but every time I make a comment it's got to be further boiled down and dissected. "The sky is blue." "That's really a demonstration of your position that you can call the sky blue. Sometimes it's red." Sweet mercy. Yes, there will be caveats and exceptions to everything.

    Ok, let me rewind. When a dog barks at you it's just noise. That dog could be calling me the worst names in the universe in its little dog language, but I don't care. Dogs bark. I really do wish I had chosen to use birds squawking instead of dogs barking. Sheesh.

    Sigh, this really is tedious.

    For the vast majority of instances in which a woman will have to reject a man firmly because he didn't take the hint when she was polite, it will more likely end in foul language and name calling than it will end in a sexual assault. Could it end in a sexual assault? YES. IT COULD. But in the context of the question I was asked, my answer was the most succinct.
  • valkoffe41
    valkoffe41 Posts: 12
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    Present yourself well, be kind, and dont be creepy. Being genuinely nice to someone even if you arent sure you will get their attention does a lot. My friends judged my current boyfriend, but he was so nice to me that I didn't care at all about any physical imperfections.
  • slideaway1
    slideaway1 Posts: 1,006 Member
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    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »
    amyrebeccah, you're still doing it.

    I am trying to not sound like I am talking to a child, but every time I make a comment it's got to be further boiled down and dissected. "The sky is blue." "That's really a demonstration of your position that you can call the sky is blue. Sometimes it's red." Sweet mercy. Yes, there will be caveats and exceptions to everything.

    Ok, let me rewind. When a dog barks at you it's just noise. That dog could be calling me the worst names in the universe in its little dog language, but I don't care. Dogs bark. I really do wish I had chosen to use birds squawking instead of dogs barking. Sheesh.

    Sigh, this really is tedious.

    For the vast majority of instances in which a woman will have to reject a man firmly because he didn't take the hint when she was polite, it will more likely end in foul language and name calling than it will end in a sexual assault. Could it end in a sexual assault? YES. IT COULD. But in the context of the question I was asked, my answer was the most succinct.

    Lol. You need to need to make your analogies clearer. Or at least use different animals.
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris Posts: 502 Member
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    slideaway1 wrote:
    It then creates a cycle of already shy/nervous (But perfectly brilliant people) to want to avoid this kind of pain, so become even more shy/introverted etc by avoiding approaching/chatting to girls/guys. I think the message is that we should try to be kinder to each other. But, in the real world, people will always be rude/ignorant etc. I think self confidence comes in when you realise that you can talk to anybody, nobody is better than you and it should be their privillage to hear what you have to say. Don't be intimidated by anybody.

    Yes, it definitely can exacerbate an individual's shyness. I've seen a woman tell a man who had asked her to dance, "No. You're too short. Go away." I was actually at this club with the girl (not as a couple) and I told the guy, "Hey, don't take that too hard. I promise, it's not you."
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris Posts: 502 Member
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    I'm going to just have to switch over to using pictures.
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris Posts: 502 Member
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    lol...Mario's 'girlfriend' is constantly at Bowser's house...

    At some point she's not being kidnapped.
  • itsfatum
    itsfatum Posts: 113 Member
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