always friendzoned - advice?
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Women are not a slot machine where you put in coins and sex comes out. This "game" crap is disgusting. Women don't generally like people trying to pick them up in stores and stuff. It's sleazy and rather frightening. Either a relationship forms naturally, or not. If you push it like this that will drive everyone away.0
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Seriously, if an article from The Onion causes you distress, you're going to have a rough life.0
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TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »lydiakitten, it's a joke.
I'm aware. That's why I said that even as satire, it's pathetic, and that the Onion usually does better. I mean, we all have different senses of humour, I suppose. It was nothing personal at all.
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lol, ok. We lose so many parts of communication when we only use text---tone of voice, inflections, pace, etc.
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TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »lol, ok. We lose so many parts of communication when we only use text---tone of voice, inflections, pace, etc.
Tell me about it. It's like dialogue wheels in RPG games. The option you pick says "I'm sorry, I cannot rescue your kitten right now", and instead your character ends up spewing "Go die in a fire you useless peasant, how dare you assume I would possibly waste my valuable time trying to save your flea-ridden feline horror", and you are left there, softly whining "but that's really not what I was trying to saAAAaay....".
Everything really does sound so much more aggressive online.
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And you sound like a huge nerd.0
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HumboldtFred wrote: »One thing to remember is that every single romantic relationship either ends in a dissolution or a lifetime together.
This is one of my favorite things ever to tell my friends. You'll either break up or end up together and I'm not sure which one is worse.0 -
lydiakitten wrote: »TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »lol, ok. We lose so many parts of communication when we only use text---tone of voice, inflections, pace, etc.
Tell me about it. It's like dialogue wheels in RPG games. The option you pick says "I'm sorry, I cannot rescue your kitten right now", and instead your character ends up spewing "Go die in a fire you useless peasant, how dare you assume I would possibly waste my valuable time trying to save your flea-ridden feline horror", and you are left there, softly whining "but that's really not what I was trying to saAAAaay....".
Everything really does sound so much more aggressive online.
Ugh, that happens so much and drives me nuts. I end up quicksaving before conversations and quickloading after hastily exiting. But Alistair, I love you! Don't leave me.
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Ugh, that happens so much and drives me nuts. I end up quicksaving before conversations and quickloading after hastily exiting. But Alistair, I love you! Don't leave me.
Ahahhahahahahahhhhhah. Oh my god, yes. Oh yes. Good ol' Alistair, licking his lampposts in the winter; I've missed this game. Though, to be honest -and please do not judge me too harshly on that- my personal guilty crush was Loghain Mac Tir. I was devastated that you could recruit him and get his side of the story, but not woo him.TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »And you sound like a huge nerd.
Guilty as charged. I humbly aim to be Nicola Tesla in the body of Isabeli Fontana. Is that too much to ask?
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I want to be Bryan Cox in the body of John Cena.0
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I want to be John Goodman in the body of Toby Keith.0
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I'm not sure if this has been covered, but in case it hasn't:
Don't be a knob and stop using the term "friendzone" unless you're 14.0 -
*puts on Arvid voice from Revenge of the Nerds*
"I... consider myself a nerd."
It gratifies me that we finally live in a time when "nerd" is not a cuss word any more.0 -
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lol! No hipsters allowed! With your hairy faces, your long whiskers, your little tiny feet, your sawdust bedding... wait. Hamsters. No HAMSTERS allowed.
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Sorry! I missed this:mumblemagic wrote:Do you have any suggestions for how to tell guys we are not interested, politely, that leaves no room for attempts at "negotiation"?
No, I don't any suggestions to politely tell a tenacious male that you are not interested. If he doesn't back off when you politely let him know that you're not interested, treat him like you would a misbehaving dog.
If he doesn't get a clue when you tell him politely, he's stupid. You can't fix stupid, and stupid people have to be treated more bluntly so they can understand.
Will he use foul language? Probably. Will he try to hurt your feelings? Maybe. Remember, he's stupid and he's small. So he'll do what stupid and small men do. And think about this: do you get upset or offended when a tiny dog barks at you? Little wiener dog yipping at you, does that ruin your day? These men are no different. They'll bark and yip a little.
It's sad and I am sorry that it's necessary, but sometimes there is no polite way to get through.0 -
Mumble, I prefer a solid No to a soft Yes. The simpler the better. That way I can get on with asking the next young lady if she would privilege me with an enjoyable exchange of time and companionship. (Yes I talk like this in real life.)0
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TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »Sorry! I missed this:mumblemagic wrote:Do you have any suggestions for how to tell guys we are not interested, politely, that leaves no room for attempts at "negotiation"?
No, I don't any suggestions to politely tell a tenacious male that you are not interested. If he doesn't back off when you politely let him know that you're not interested, treat him like you would a misbehaving dog.
If he doesn't get a clue when you tell him politely, he's stupid. You can't fix stupid, and stupid people have to be treated more bluntly so they can understand.
Will he use foul language? Probably. Will he try to hurt your feelings? Maybe. Remember, he's stupid and he's small. So he'll do what stupid and small men do. And think about this: do you get upset or offended when a tiny dog barks at you? Little wiener dog yipping at you, does that ruin your day? These men are no different. They'll bark and yip a little.
It's sad and I am sorry that it's necessary, but sometimes there is no polite way to get through.
Or you can always let someone random in public know. If you had some woman come up to you say that (insert "stupid person") is harassing what would you do. My vote is sometimes you fight fire with lava.
BTW I never had a situation like that come up but I know for a fact that I would teach harasser whats really good with who he harasses.
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I dont know about you specifically, but it's been my experience that guys who get friendzoned over and over again are ending up in that spot because they date and pursue girls who are hopelessly out of their league. These women enjoy the company and comfort and then move on to something "better" later.
Maybe it isn't you, but it's the women you go after?0 -
slideaway1 wrote: »What some people consider the Friend zone, others just see as playing the long game. Just try to put a more positive slant on it .
No. If you are going to be friends with someone be friends with them. Playing the long game isn't being friends it is being manipulative and dishonest and I don't think that is something to be proud of.
+1
Totally agree with that.0 -
Best advice I can give you:
Don't ask women for advice, they have no idea how dating works for men. Don't ask men who have been married for a long time either, they've forgotten whatever game they may have once had.
Ask guys who pull a lot, especially if they're not incredibly good looking.
Seems like he "pulls" just fine, but can't make it last.
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amyrebeccah, I understand that no matter what I say, you will not like it and will take an adversarial approach in your replies to me. That's ok, I am not upset by it. I do hope you feel better.
If you politely let a man know that you are not interested in him and he continues the behavior, you very well may have to be firm/rude/curt/short or whatever with him so he understands.
If he still will not stop then you need to get away from him and possibly get some outside help.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote:Or you can always let someone random in public know. If you had some woman come up to you say that (insert "stupid person") is harassing what would you do. My vote is sometimes you fight fire with lava.
BTW I never had a situation like that come up but I know for a fact that I would teach harasser whats really good with who he harasses.
I have intervened in multiple situations. Not as macho-man stuff, but more like, "Hey man, dial it back. She's not into you." And then only after checking with the woman to make sure it was ok.
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amyrebeccah wrote: »
I cannot possibly imagine how I could have mischaracterized you as condescending. Will you ever forgive me for my ovary-driven hysteria?TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »amyrebeccah, I understand that no matter what I say, you will not like it and will take an adversarial approach in your replies to me. That's ok, I am not upset by it. I do hope you feel better.
If you politely let a man know that you are not interested in him and he continues the behavior, you very well may have to be firm/rude/curt/short or whatever with him so he understands.
If he still will not stop then you need to get away from him and possibly get some outside help.
Sarcasm factor 10. LMAO0 -
amyrebeccah, Am I condescending, or am I reciprocating?
Ultimately, all I can do is try to address what was a part that I left out but you brought up. And, while you won't like it, perhaps someone else may find it useful: if a man will not honor a polite request, if he ignores a firm refusal, and then begins to escalate, get away from him. Do what you have to do, whether it's just walking away or driving off or screaming and running. Usually your vibes will be pretty accurate.0 -
You seemed angry.0
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I've been in nightclubs with a group of mates and a few of the shy and quiet ones (even when intoxicated) have gone up to a group of girls etc to chat/introduce themselves etc and have been brutally humiliated by these girls. The kind of stuff that you can not laugh off (if your a bit sensitive/reserved etc) and will probably stay with them forever. Woman in these situations hold all the power (in the same way that men sort of hold the power in the street by whistling/swearing etc at girls) and I've seen friends destroyed by girls because they had the audacity to try and talk to them and even compliment them on a night out. Tough world we live in.0
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