always friendzoned - advice?

eraser51

Hey!

Would love to get some advice.....

I tried a couple of times to pick up girls per online dating (30-40 dates) and it also worked couple of times (3-5). Had some short relationships and ONS but it hardly ever lasted and also werent that much

I read A LOT of books on flirting and similiar subjects but have no idea what to do really. I dont really buy in that PUA stuff.. but especially the "daygame" , at least so to say, is what I really lack despite being on campus right now... I am just shy somehow and dont know how I get over it...

do you guys have some serious advice?

I asked a couple of Friends (female) and ex-GF for advice but usually get.. "time isnt right" ...."just be yourself"..... "you will find her".. and stuff like that



Also thought about trying NoFap to lessen social anxiety of girls a bit; but am I not objectifing the girls even more because I know its only possible to get sex with the girls?
Do they like to be looked at (sexually)?




What do girls care for (first)?
Looks? Sympathy? Weight? Stature?

How do you girls give hints to the guy?
Just eye contact? or something else?


Should I approach in the supermarket/studio/on their regular schedule?
What if they dont see me/notice me? Do they feel overwhelmed`? Insecure? Suprised?

eraser51

bump

rambabean

http://www.girlonthenet.com/2013/01/05/friend-zone-nice-guys-of-ok/

This article is a little mean and blunt and might not apply to your situation exactly, but might make you chuckle and give you a different viewpoint on the "Friend Zone". FYI, it is on a sex blog so the adverts are NSFW!

Your friends are completely right when they say to just be yourself, that's all you can be and someone will love you for it. I'd also add that if you generalise 50% of the worlds population as "girls" and assume they all think the same, you're going to get slapped a few times.

slideaway1

God knows mate. I have no idea how girls minds work. Try acting a bit more like a dickhead. Single girls in todays dating game seem to respond to that

ninerbuff

If you're not getting any interest, you're either not interesting to them or you're not their type (in their eyes). And desperation is usually sensed by people.
IMO, quit looking. Work on yourself first with self improvement on health, mind, and finances. Eventually time will hook you up with someone IF you let it.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

enoughisenough9

rambabean wrote: »

http://www.girlonthenet.com/2013/01/05/friend-zone-nice-guys-of-ok/

This article is a little mean and blunt and might not apply to your situation exactly, but might make you chuckle and give you a different viewpoint on the "Friend Zone". FYI, it is on a sex blog so the adverts are NSFW!

Your friends are completely right when they say to just be yourself, that's all you can be and someone will love you for it. I'd also add that if you generalise 50% of the worlds population as "girls" and assume they all think the same, you're going to get slapped a few times.

In similar taste to this response - whenever I hear someone say "friendzone" my mind always jumps to this: http://i.imgur.com/FLkTlUl.jpg.

There is no such thing as the friendzone.

mumblemagic

enoughisenough9 wrote: »

rambabean wrote: »

http://www.girlonthenet.com/2013/01/05/friend-zone-nice-guys-of-ok/

This article is a little mean and blunt and might not apply to your situation exactly, but might make you chuckle and give you a different viewpoint on the "Friend Zone". FYI, it is on a sex blog so the adverts are NSFW!

Your friends are completely right when they say to just be yourself, that's all you can be and someone will love you for it. I'd also add that if you generalise 50% of the worlds population as "girls" and assume they all think the same, you're going to get slapped a few times.

In similar taste to this response - whenever I hear someone say "friendzone" my mind always jumps to this: http://i.imgur.com/FLkTlUl.jpg.

There is no such thing as the friendzone.

These posters have pretty much summed up my feelings. There are numerous other rants to this effect from female bloggers because sadly, too many of us have experienced a guy "friend" with a "nice guys finish last" attitude not respecting our right to not sleep with them.

That said, I am currently in a very good relationship with a guy I was friends with for 5 years before we started dating. We've been together 4 years and our friendship made a fantastic foundation for our relationship.

If you fancy a girl, say hi, try chatting to her. Not with stupid PUA lines but genuinely show interest in who she is. Guys who find women mystifying are those who don't bother to get to know the women they date. We're actually not that incomprehensible - we just are not all the same person in different bodies. Treat the women you fancy as human beings and individuals, not as trophies to be won, or notches on your bedpost and you will likely find someone who will fancy you back.

kittenful

mumblemagic wrote: »

enoughisenough9 wrote: »

rambabean wrote: »

http://www.girlonthenet.com/2013/01/05/friend-zone-nice-guys-of-ok/

This article is a little mean and blunt and might not apply to your situation exactly, but might make you chuckle and give you a different viewpoint on the "Friend Zone". FYI, it is on a sex blog so the adverts are NSFW!

Your friends are completely right when they say to just be yourself, that's all you can be and someone will love you for it. I'd also add that if you generalise 50% of the worlds population as "girls" and assume they all think the same, you're going to get slapped a few times.

In similar taste to this response - whenever I hear someone say "friendzone" my mind always jumps to this: http://i.imgur.com/FLkTlUl.jpg.

There is no such thing as the friendzone.

These posters have pretty much summed up my feelings. There are numerous other rants to this effect from female bloggers because sadly, too many of us have experienced a guy "friend" with a "nice guys finish last" attitude not respecting our right to not sleep with them.

That said, I am currently in a very good relationship with a guy I was friends with for 5 years before we started dating. We've been together 4 years and our friendship made a fantastic foundation for our relationship.

If you fancy a girl, say hi, try chatting to her. Not with stupid PUA lines but genuinely show interest in who she is. Guys who find women mystifying are those who don't bother to get to know the women they date. We're actually not that incomprehensible - we just are not all the same person in different bodies. Treat the women you fancy as human beings and individuals, not as trophies to be won, or notches on your bedpost and you will likely find someone who will fancy you back.

^So much this!

First, please stop reading those books. They're trash. It seems to me that you need to work on yourself, first. Get comfortable with yourself, and stop worrying about being with somebody. Confidence in yourself is appealing. Being friends with the sole intent of getting with a girl, not so much. That's not friendship.

I can't speak for other women, as we all think differently. I simply think that you should stop worrying so much about what other people may or may not be thinking. That gets confusing and stressful, and does NOTHING good for social anxiety. Just try to be friends, without a sexy motive. It will help with anxiety around women.

My best advice: if you're confused about something, then ASK about it. That is the only way to really know how she may feel. There will be rejection, but that's not always going to be the case.

Timorous_Beastie

I hate the idea of the "friend zone," like it's some mysterious penalty box you get put in for saying the wrong thing. If someone isn't interested in you, it's because of lack of chemistry and attraction, not because of anything you can (or even should) change about yourself.

quintoespada

The phrase 'friend zone' makes me so angry. Even had a 14 year old use it on me once - and I'd told her 'No, we can't date' because I was 23! It really has to stop being spread around society as if it's okay to expect people to date you just because you're nice to them. That's ridiculous. Seems a bit shallow, too, doesn't it - to expect someone to give you something just because you're acting like a decent human being to them?

Pillowtlk

I've been on dates with 4 different guys in the past year & a half and from my perspective, here's what I found:

The first guy I met online. After chatting for about a week and a half, we met up at a hip bar. We stayed there for about 3 hours talking, but I don't think either of us were impressed. We got along, but our interests didn't seem to coincide. The point was that we just wouldn't get excited by each other.

The second guy I met at a party. He was super nice, but there was no spark for me. I wasn't really attracted to him and after the date, realized I wasn't really interested in a relationship at that time.

The third guy I also met online. Talking online was alright-- unlike the first guy we had a lot of things in common and eventually moved over to texts. We met up in an arcade for our first date. He seemed nervous, but so was I so that was fine; however, after we left he invited me over to his apartment to watch a movie (it was still fairly early). Since we weren't busy playing sweet arcade game anymore, this is when I noticed some of his weird mannerisms: he liked to pat my head or pinch my cheek like I was a child? I don't appreciate being touched on first dates, even as innocently as that, so it was annoying. He called me "cute" about 15 times (I started counting after the first couple). Lastly, he kept trying to angle my face to kiss him during the movie. NOT OKAY. It might not be as romantic or "cute", but ask for permission instead of just going for it on a first date.

The last guy I met on Tindr, so kind of online? We met up after work to go mini golfing and then grabbed some food and walked around a park. It was the best out of all the dates because we had something to focus on while we warmed up to each other (getting a little competitive with the mini golf was fun) and conversation flowed well during dinner and walking around -- we shared a lot of interests and the conversation was pretty equal between us. We didn't kiss on the first date, but we did on the second, which was a movie (gave us something neutral to talk about now that we knew each other but maybe weren't super convinced yet).

I've been dating the last guy for a few months now.

So my advice for online dating: wait longer before you go on a date, chat over text or whatever to make sure you have common interests. When you do go on a date, do something together instead of just going out for drinks or a restaurant where all there is talking. Don't do a lot of intimate touching or try to escalate things (like a ONS). Be casual-- a few compliments will help set her at ease (try low key, like "you're shirt/dress/etc. is awesome, by the way"; something little, like maybe her nail color or how she has a nice laugh). Also, don't take it personally if nothing comes from it. Online dating always feels less serious. Use these dates as a well to discover what you want out of a date or a partner too (but always remember to be realistic-- no one is perfect!).

Sorry for writing a novel! But I hope this helps.

Jennym93

Be kind and be you, it's way more attractive and in time it will happen, for now focus on you and things that make you happy

TheLegendaryBrandonHarris

I've tried a lot of different ways, mainly based on time periods in my life and how I was feeling. It wasn't a conscious choice---shy and awkward in the early years, cocky and confident in my 20s, more reserved in college (I started college in my late 20s and most of the girls I dated were 5 to 9 years younger than me), then after college back to low self-confidence, and currently becoming the confident Alpha type again. It's how I feel about myself, which is heavily driven by how fat or thin I am.

The truth is, don't ask women what women want because they don't know. The answer you'll get will be what they want to be true, although that won't harmonize with reality. Be yourself, as long as yourself is confident and motivated. I know that sounds like I'm a jerk and I know people will throw things at me, but that's all there is to it.

Now, there are tons of subtleties to this. I dont mean act like Gaston from "Beauty and the Beast." I mean someone who is confident in their abilities while being gracious to others. For instance, you see someone broken down on the side of the road and you say, "I'm going to stop because I can help these people, even if its just asking if they are OK and have mobile phone."
Confidence isn't something you can will or conjure up. It's learned and it's felt and it comes from action and experience. Make sure you're always studying something. Learning to do things, anything. It makes your mind better and you'll think differently, and confidenence grows out of knowing you are a pretty good guy who takes care of his body and mind and is strong enough to look out for and take care of others. This also ties in to motivation. Be doing something. Set goals and objectives. Women do not like idle men.

Also, be generous. They like that. So does the person you help. And it's the right thing to do. Win/win/win. Be confident enough to say nice things about people. Weak men cry and moan and tear other people down, and it's unattractive. Be a builder. Build a better body, mind, a stronger character. That goes a long way. And don't forget to have fun.

mumblemagic

TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »

I've tried a lot of different ways, mainly based on time periods in my life and how I was feeling. It wasn't a conscious choice---shy and awkward in the early years, cocky and confident in my 20s, more reserved in college (I started college in my late 20s and most of the girls I dated were 5 to 9 years younger than me), then after college back to low self-confidence, and currently becoming the confident Alpha type again. It's how I feel about myself, which is heavily driven by how fat or thin I am.

The truth is, don't ask women what women want because they don't know. The answer you'll get will be what they want to be true, although that won't harmonize with reality. Be yourself, as long as yourself is confident and motivated. I know that sounds like I'm a jerk and I know people will throw things at me, but that's all there is to it.

Now, there are tons of subtleties to this. I dont mean act like Gaston from "Beauty and the Beast." I mean someone who is confident in their abilities while being gracious to others. For instance, you see someone broken down on the side of the road and you say, "I'm going to stop because I can help these people, even if its just asking if they are OK and have mobile phone."
Confidence isn't something you can will or conjure up. It's learned and it's felt and it comes from action and experience. Make sure you're always studying something. Learning to do things, anything. It makes your mind better and you'll think differently, and confidenence grows out of knowing you are a pretty good guy who takes care of his body and mind and is strong enough to look out for and take care of others. This also ties in to motivation. Be doing something. Set goals and objectives. Women do not like idle men.

Also, be generous. They like that. So does the person you help. And it's the right thing to do. Win/win/win. Be confident enough to say nice things about people. Weak men cry and moan and tear other people down, and it's unattractive. Be a builder. Build a better body, mind, a stronger character. That goes a long way. And don't forget to have fun.

Yes our tiny little fluffy feminine brains are incapable of making decisions. How condescending. And a little rapey, although I hope that's not how you intended it to come across.

I do agree with your point about not being Gaston, however. In general, I would avoid emulating any of the people outlined in this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OzDSCqmAgY

TheLegendaryBrandonHarris

I understand that you don't like what I said. I understand that you are trying to use signal words like rapey to let everyone else know that I am the bad guy and to scare me into being quiet. It's OK. A lot of people do that when they see things they don't like. Unfortunately, it stifles an honest discussion.

But you are right. For more clarity I should have stated it thusly:
Don't ask women what women want in a man because they don't know.

mumblemagic

TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »

I understand that you don't like what I said. I understand that you are trying to use signal words like rapey to let everyone else know that I am the bad guy and to scare me into being quiet. It's OK. A lot of people do that when they see things they don't like. Unfortunately, it stifles an honest discussion.

But you are right. For more clarity I should have stated it thusly:
Don't ask women what women want in a man because they don't know.

When you phrase it that way I actually agree with you, but I still think you are being condescending. My intention in saying the following:

Yes our tiny little fluffy feminine brains are incapable of making decisions. How condescending. And a little rapey, although I hope that's not how you intended it to come across.

was to tell you that the way you were coming across sounded condescending and rapey, not that you were rapey as a person, nor to stifle honest debate. You are reading far more into my comment than is actually there.

Back to the main issue, I agree that it is not constructive to ask other people what women want, for two reasons:

1. women are not all the same. We are individuals and so necessarily want different things. It is over-generalising to assume that all women are the same and therefore must know what all women want, in the same way that it would be over-generalising to say the same of men.
2. most people do not have a checklist of things they want in a partner, and even if they have a few loose ideas, some of them will be more important than others so they may not end up with someone with those characteristics anyway. However, a lot of people do have a few ideas about what they don't want in a partner.

lydiakitten

Yes. They do. Most women do know what they want. Not accurately, but at least vaguely, they do.

We are largely sick of this whole "Alpha males" and "Beta males" nonsense, and the ridiculous macho PUA lines, and the whole "I'm gonna neg her to show my confidence" kind of crap. We can smell someone who is following those ridiculously sexist manblogs for dating advice, is a "men's right activist", reproduces lines he's seen on a youtube video, and is trying to "act Alpha", from a mile away. And though a very few of us, mostly those who see themselves as bimbo prizes to be won, will be attracted to that kind of man, the vast majority of us are very strongly repulsed.

No, we are generally not indecisive, hormonal creatures who have secret switches in their brains, and if you somehow trigger their prehistoric soft spots their legs will open. I have come across a thousand of these puerile articles, and every single woman I know is deeply disgusted by men who actually read and believe that crap.

To the OP... Look, each woman has her own taste and her own fantasies. My man is not ripped and fit and hypermasculine; he is rather the aristocratic, quiet, elegant type. Some women would find him unattractive no doubt, but to me the intelligent discussions we have, his understanding and his intuition and his smoothness, the long lithe limbs and the slender wrists are insanely attractive. That's me. I know a girl who likes tall men, and finds that to be a strong priority in her dating life. I know another who cares very little about appearance, but always ends up being attracted to men who are the safe, hard-working, honest, simple kind. And yet another who always gets into battles of wit and will fall for anyone that can meet her witty banter needs and get her geeky references.

Women are not some hive mind. We don't all have the same tastes and the same priorities. Burn your PUA books and forget whatever you read. I assure you that all you need to do is work on yourself, for yourself, to make yourself more like what you want to be, what would make you feel more confident and more comfortable. Become emotionally and psychologically independent, self-sufficient, healthy. And then, if you keep being sociable and open to meeting people, you will eventually come across a likeable girl whose type will be exactly you.

Ps. Woman like to be desired -like everyone does, including men- but they mostly don't like to be objectified (unless it's sexual roleplay/play/consensual dirty talking). Don't treat them as a puzzle you need to solve, as if each one has a secret code and if you hit it sex will come out. They're just people, as complex and diverse as men, and you should approach them exactly as such.

mumblemagic

lydiakitten wrote: »

Yes. They do. Most women do know what they want. Not accurately, but at least vaguely, they do.

We are largely sick of this whole "Alpha males" and "Beta males" nonsense, and the ridiculous macho PUA lines, and the whole "I'm gonna neg her to show my confidence" kind of crap. We can smell someone who is following those ridiculously sexist manblogs for dating advice, is a "men's right activist", reproduces lines he's seen on a youtube video, and is trying to "act Alpha", from a mile away. And though a very few of us, mostly those who see themselves as bimbo prizes to be won, will be attracted to that kind of man, the vast majority of us are very strongly repulsed.

No, we are generally not indecisive, hormonal creatures who have secret switches in their brains, and if you somehow trigger their prehistoric soft spots their legs will open. I have come across a thousand of these puerile articles, and every single woman I know is deeply disgusted by men who actually read and believe that crap.

To the OP... Look, each woman has her own taste and her own fantasies. My man is not ripped and fit and hypermasculine; he is rather the aristocratic, quiet, elegant type. Some women would find him unattractive no doubt, but to me the intelligent discussions we have, his understanding and his intuition and his smoothness, the long lithe limbs and the slender wrists are insanely attractive. That's me. I know a girl who likes tall men, and finds that to be a strong priority in her dating life. I know another who cares very little about appearance, but always ends up being attracted to men who are the safe, hard-working, honest, simple kind. And yet another who always gets into battles of wit and will fall for anyone that can meet her witty banter needs and get her geeky references.

Women are not some hive mind. We don't all have the same tastes and the same priorities. Burn your PUA books and forget whatever you read. I assure you that all you need to do is work on yourself, for yourself, to make yourself more like what you want to be, what would make you feel more confident and more comfortable. Become emotionally and psychologically independent, self-sufficient, healthy. And then, if you keep being sociable and open to meeting people, you will eventually come across a likeable girl whose type will be exactly you.

Ps. Woman like to be desired -like everyone does, including men- but they mostly don't like to be objectified (unless it's sexual roleplay/play/consensual dirty talking). Don't treat them as a puzzle you need to solve, as if each one has a secret code and if you hit it sex will come out. They're just people, as complex and diverse as men, and you should approach them exactly as such.

And this.

mumblemagic

Re: Shyness, getting over shyness is a 'fake it until you make it' thing. Break your comfort zone and pretend you're a ninja or something. Expect some rejections, but don't take it to heart. Eventually you will get used to not being in your comfort zone and it won't feel so intimidating.

What is NoFap, BTW?

slideaway1

What some people consider the Friend zone, others just see as playing the long game. Just try to put a more positive slant on it .

determined_ella

Ok..... I have had 3 relationships from online..... not a dating sites though! it was actually just a normal chat room... 8 years ago they didn't have hardly any...er... well maybe the odd perv but there wasn't much sex chat etc.
I met them and things went great for a matter of months... then the real them came through.... not forgetting the person you are on a computer compared to real life is sometimes very different... they can be so quiet on here... but then you meet them and they are loud and crazy crazy lol. honestly, I'd say back away from the internet if you're looking for love....... my ex I met him off a chat room... he used to flirt like crazy... then when we met it was great.. then eventually moved in with me.... then I saw exactly what I wasn't seeing through a computer screen.... he was still on the chat room hooking up with women! also his ex lol. I only found this out as he gave me his phone when he got a new one... his ex and his other girlies were texting me saying hey thanks for the pics etc.... so I replied saying sorry who's this... then they told me everything... was a good 3 hour conversation with 3 women he had strung along... so booted him to the curb
sadly that wasn't the only time... happened twice but I caught the second one out within a month lol. learn by your mistakes.

honestly go out your front door... and be yourself!! because reading these books are not going to make you into something you are not.... I mean how long could you keep up with the book... say you met someone, because of the lines you're throwing at her.... then 1-5 years down the line you're fed up of being someone you're not... then you change back and she dislikes that you're "not the same as you were when you met" then you have officially wasted part of your life see where I'm going with this?

girls tend to go for what they want.... sadly some people put looks before everything but you wouldn't want one of them.... you seem like you could be a settling down kind of guy.

Do they like to be looked at (sexually)? <<< not unless they feel the same way about you.

you would know if a woman is interested... the eye contact, the body gestures etc. should read a book on body language... now that is an interesting read... and it is actually very accurate! good luck!

mumblemagic wrote: »

What is NoFap, BTW?

it's basically quitting mast*rbation and p*rn

almondbutterbay

Most of my nice guy friends who think they're being friendzoned or think no one wants to date them, aren't directly asking girls out. Or they're asking out girls who barely know them. Or they're ignoring the girls who are completely interested in them but they don't see what's right in front of them. For instance one of my friends is really good friends with a girl who is so completely interested in him but he's looking for "a girl to date" and isn't even thinking about the girls who he sees everyday and has conversations with. He's not doing this on purpose I think it's more like he's so focused on trying to find a relationship that he's sabatoging himself.

Also most girls can sense desperation. And if it's not syncing then it's just not gonna work out. Like there's this guy who keeps asking me out but we have nothing in common and it's obvious by the way he flirts and talks that he just really wants a girlfriend and any girl will do.

fatcity66

TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »

I've tried a lot of different ways, mainly based on time periods in my life and how I was feeling. It wasn't a conscious choice---shy and awkward in the early years, cocky and confident in my 20s, more reserved in college (I started college in my late 20s and most of the girls I dated were 5 to 9 years younger than me), then after college back to low self-confidence, and currently becoming the confident Alpha type again. It's how I feel about myself, which is heavily driven by how fat or thin I am.

The truth is, don't ask women what women want because they don't know. The answer you'll get will be what they want to be true, although that won't harmonize with reality. Be yourself, as long as yourself is confident and motivated. I know that sounds like I'm a jerk and I know people will throw things at me, but that's all there is to it.

Now, there are tons of subtleties to this. I dont mean act like Gaston from "Beauty and the Beast." I mean someone who is confident in their abilities while being gracious to others. For instance, you see someone broken down on the side of the road and you say, "I'm going to stop because I can help these people, even if its just asking if they are OK and have mobile phone."
Confidence isn't something you can will or conjure up. It's learned and it's felt and it comes from action and experience. Make sure you're always studying something. Learning to do things, anything. It makes your mind better and you'll think differently, and confidenence grows out of knowing you are a pretty good guy who takes care of his body and mind and is strong enough to look out for and take care of others. This also ties in to motivation. Be doing something. Set goals and objectives. Women do not like idle men.

Also, be generous. They like that. So does the person you help. And it's the right thing to do. Win/win/win. Be confident enough to say nice things about people. Weak men cry and moan and tear other people down, and it's unattractive. Be a builder. Build a better body, mind, a stronger character. That goes a long way. And don't forget to have fun.

This is why so many of my female friends are bi-sexual.

slideaway1

determined_ella wrote: »

Ok..... I have had 3 relationships from online..... not a dating sites though! it was actually just a normal chat room... 8 years ago they didn't have hardly any...er... well maybe the odd perv but there wasn't much sex chat etc.
I met them and things went great for a matter of months... then the real them came through.... not forgetting the person you are on a computer compared to real life is sometimes very different... they can be so quiet on here... but then you meet them and they are loud and crazy crazy lol. honestly, I'd say back away from the internet if you're looking for love....... my ex I met him off a chat room... he used to flirt like crazy... then when we met it was great.. then eventually moved in with me.... then I saw exactly what I wasn't seeing through a computer screen.... he was still on the chat room hooking up with women! also his ex lol. I only found this out as he gave me his phone when he got a new one... his ex and his other girlies were texting me saying hey thanks for the pics etc.... so I replied saying sorry who's this... then they told me everything... was a good 3 hour conversation with 3 women he had strung along... so booted him to the curb
sadly that wasn't the only time... happened twice but I caught the second one out within a month lol. learn by your mistakes.

honestly go out your front door... and be yourself!! because reading these books are not going to make you into something you are not.... I mean how long could you keep up with the book... say you met someone, because of the lines you're throwing at her.... then 1-5 years down the line you're fed up of being someone you're not... then you change back and she dislikes that you're "not the same as you were when you met" then you have officially wasted part of your life see where I'm going with this?

girls tend to go for what they want.... sadly some people put looks before everything but you wouldn't want one of them.... you seem like you could be a settling down kind of guy.

Do they like to be looked at (sexually)? <<< not unless they feel the same way about you.

you would know if a woman is interested... the eye contact, the body gestures etc. should read a book on body language... now that is an interesting read... and it is actually very accurate! good luck!

mumblemagic wrote: »

What is NoFap, BTW?

it's basically quitting mast*rbation and p*rn

That's a real deal breaker for me. I refuse, refuse I tell ya!

almondbutterbay

[/quote]

And this is how some women see "playing the long game"
[/quote]

Hahahah a shocking amount of my guy friends do this to their or my other friends. It's like they expect the girl to ask them out because they're always around or something

LavenderLeaves

TheLegendaryBrandonHarris wrote: »

But you are right. For more clarity I should have stated it thusly:
Don't ask women what women want in a man because they don't know.

Has it ever occurred to you that, like men, women are not one entity and there isn't really any set of specific things all women want from men? All my girlfriends and I require very different qualities in the type of guys we are interested in.

All the guys I've ever known, platonic or otherwise, have varied GREATLY in what they seek out from partners. So when people ask stuff like "What do men/women want?" it's a bit of a ridiculous question unless you know what YOU'RE looking for. Everyone wants something different.

Some people are not remotely aware of what they want and may say one thing but not even realize that's not even very important to them, no matter what gender they are. Some people are more shallow and want their partners to look a certain way, and there's nothing wrong with that, and others may want more than a pretty face and hot body. Women, like men, are not one conglomerate. If I judged all men based on what you've just said, I'd be incredibly misinformed on men as a whole and how they think. Stop being so condescending.

Slacker16

Best advice I can give you:

Don't ask women for advice, they have no idea how dating works for men. Don't ask men who have been married for a long time either, they've forgotten whatever game they may have once had.

Ask guys who pull a lot, especially if they're not incredibly good looking.

determined_ella

it's basically quitting mast*rbation and p*rn

slideaway1 wrote: »

That's a real deal breaker for me. I refuse, refuse I tell ya!

believe it or not.... the real deal is a much better place than sat on your own watching others do what you want to.... plus it has it's benefits

slideaway1

Girls want whatever the media tells them they want. Only joking sisters!!

Kalici

slideaway1 wrote: »

What some people consider the Friend zone, others just see as playing the long game. Just try to put a more positive slant on it .

No. If you are going to be friends with someone be friends with them. Playing the long game isn't being friends it is being manipulative and dishonest and I don't think that is something to be proud of.

slideaway1

I think the wink in all of those comments suggest I was joking anyway. Calm down.