Do you view your old eating habits as a personal failing?
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I don't have anything more to add to this thread at this point but I did enjoy reading everyone's thoughtful responses. Thank you for sharing them.
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I feel guilt and shame for nothing I eat....
But, maybe if I did adopt such an attitude, this weight loss thing would be easier. I'm much too lenient with myself when it comes to my diet. But Rome wasn't built in a day... and this Rome is starting from a Moon standpoint---craters, lack of resources and all.0 -
When I look back on how I used to eat I can only feel repulsion. But I know that I ate half gallons of ice cream in one sitting and those huge Butterfinger bars, as well as hot pockets and stouffers Mac and cheese to excess was because I was so depressed throughout college that I didn't care and no one else seemed to either. I gained forty pounds in college.
Since I've embarked on my weight loss journey and become more interested in fitness (running!!) I've found myself in a much better place and food isn't my go-to when I'm sad. And if I am sad and I want a thin mint or two, I make it fit into my calories for the day.0 -
Hmm... Failing at a juice diet (or at keeping new years resolutions or whatever plan someone tries to do and fails) doesn't seem the same as, for me anyway, feeling a sense of personal failure for habitual overeating. For putting on weight, knowing this is a problem, ignoring it and making excuses for it in favor of continuing self-destructive overeating - this just seems to me a different kind of personal failure than setting out to do a thing and not succeeding.
Like, I certainly would not put my failure as being on par with someone who "failed" to finish their climb of Mt. Everest, or failed to keep their New Years resolution to start their day with a green smoothie every morning.
I guess I was using a definition of failure that had to with what I feel was a lack of character. And I personally would put "Not caring" in that "lack of character" camp.0 -
Lourdesong wrote: »Hmm... Failing at a juice diet (or at keeping new years resolutions or whatever plan someone tries to do and fails) doesn't seem the same as, for me anyway, feeling a sense of personal failure for habitual overeating. For putting on weight, knowing this is a problem, ignoring it and making excuses for it in favor of continuing self-destructive overeating - this just seems to me a different kind of personal failure than setting out to do a thing and not succeeding.
Like, I certainly would not put my failure as being on par with someone who "failed" to finish their climb of Mt. Everest, or failed to keep their New Years resolution to start their day with a green smoothie every morning.
I guess I was using a definition of failure that had to with what I feel was a lack of character. And I personally would put "Not caring" in that "lack of character" camp.
Not sure I'm following - are you trying to say that allowing oneself to get fat shows a "lack of character"...?
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Lourdesong wrote: »Hmm... Failing at a juice diet (or at keeping new years resolutions or whatever plan someone tries to do and fails) doesn't seem the same as, for me anyway, feeling a sense of personal failure for habitual overeating. For putting on weight, knowing this is a problem, ignoring it and making excuses for it in favor of continuing self-destructive overeating - this just seems to me a different kind of personal failure than setting out to do a thing and not succeeding.
Like, I certainly would not put my failure as being on par with someone who "failed" to finish their climb of Mt. Everest, or failed to keep their New Years resolution to start their day with a green smoothie every morning.
I guess I was using a definition of failure that had to with what I feel was a lack of character. And I personally would put "Not caring" in that "lack of character" camp.
Not sure I'm following - are you trying to say that allowing oneself to get fat shows a "lack of character"...?
Well, it's generally not virtuous, it could be neutral I suppose. It wasn't neutral or virtuous in my case for sure...
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Lourdesong wrote: »I guess I was using a definition of failure that had to with what I feel was a lack of character. And I personally would put "Not caring" in that "lack of character" camp.
I wouldn't. (I'd consider it neutral.)0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »Lourdesong wrote: »I guess I was using a definition of failure that had to with what I feel was a lack of character. And I personally would put "Not caring" in that "lack of character" camp.
I wouldn't. (I'd consider it neutral.)
I guess I was thinking of it more like when you start caring you likely wouldn't want to experience again a mentality of not caring. Which is why I wouldn't view not caring as neutral.
I'm not sure I can speak for anyone who has actually not cared, because I said I didn't care but I really did, I was not sincerely aloof about my overeating or my weight problem. It had always bothered me a great deal.
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I've known plenty of people who genuinely don't care. They're quite happy making the trade off in favour of eating more, more often.
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lemurcat12 wrote: »Lourdesong wrote: »I guess I was using a definition of failure that had to with what I feel was a lack of character. And I personally would put "Not caring" in that "lack of character" camp.
I wouldn't. (I'd consider it neutral.)
Disregarding circumstances out of your control (health issues and such), why would you say it's neutral?
I wouldn't particularly use the term "character" just because it's a bit vague. But it certainly shows a lack of self-discipline and a need for instant gratification, along with many other things. All of which are negative qualities, in my own opinion.0 -
pavingnewpaths wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »Lourdesong wrote: »I guess I was using a definition of failure that had to with what I feel was a lack of character. And I personally would put "Not caring" in that "lack of character" camp.
I wouldn't. (I'd consider it neutral.)
Disregarding circumstances out of your control (health issues and such), why would you say it's neutral?
I wouldn't particularly use the term "character" just because it's a bit vague. But it certainly shows a lack of self-discipline and a need for instant gratification, along with many other things. All of which are negative qualities, in my own opinion.
I'd view it more as a societal failure. At any other point in history this would not have happened. I understand there's a lot of shame, guilt and just emotional baggage in general associated with being overweight but when 30% of the worlds population is I think it moves beyond the individual. Take charge and responsibility to change your circumstances but for goodness sakes be kind to yourself -- you don't deserve contempt and derision.0 -
AlabasterVerve wrote: »pavingnewpaths wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »Lourdesong wrote: »I guess I was using a definition of failure that had to with what I feel was a lack of character. And I personally would put "Not caring" in that "lack of character" camp.
I wouldn't. (I'd consider it neutral.)
Disregarding circumstances out of your control (health issues and such), why would you say it's neutral?
I wouldn't particularly use the term "character" just because it's a bit vague. But it certainly shows a lack of self-discipline and a need for instant gratification, along with many other things. All of which are negative qualities, in my own opinion.
I'd view it more as a societal failure. At any other point in history this would not have happened. I understand there's a lot of shame, guilt and just emotional baggage in general associated with being overweight but when 30% of the worlds population is I think it moves beyond the individual. Take charge and responsibility to change your circumstances but for goodness sakes be kind to yourself -- you don't deserve contempt and derision.
You're the one who introduced and equated the consequential concepts of contempt, derision, shame and the like with failure. They don't go hand in hand of necessity. You keep posting as if they do.
It's okay to have done something wrong.
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I don't see them as failing. It is what it was at that time. I didn't have the knowledge I have now and I believe I still have a lot more to learn about myself that will further help lose weight nd then maintain, with a set of new rules and coping mechanisms.0
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I do not consider my old eating habits a failure. That is too black and white and the world simply doesn't work that way. My eating habits started as a kid, and that was the coping mechanism I picked up to cope with my surroundings. That was the only coping mechanism I knew being so young, and it obviously later turned into a very heavily ingrained habit. While the coping mechanism wasn't ideal by any means, I certainly do not consider it a failure. The coping mechanism could have been much worse, but it wasn't, and for that I am thankful. I dealt with the cards I had in front of me and while I have to fix it now, I am thankful that changing my eating habits are the only thing I need to fix. Basically, the point is, it could always be worse.0
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I don't see them as failing. It is what it was at that time. I didn't have the knowledge I have now and I believe I still have a lot more to learn about myself that will further help lose weight nd then maintain, with a set of new rules and coping mechanisms.
You said it perfectly. /thread
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mamapeach910 wrote: »AlabasterVerve wrote: »pavingnewpaths wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »Lourdesong wrote: »I guess I was using a definition of failure that had to with what I feel was a lack of character. And I personally would put "Not caring" in that "lack of character" camp.
I wouldn't. (I'd consider it neutral.)
Disregarding circumstances out of your control (health issues and such), why would you say it's neutral?
I wouldn't particularly use the term "character" just because it's a bit vague. But it certainly shows a lack of self-discipline and a need for instant gratification, along with many other things. All of which are negative qualities, in my own opinion.
I'd view it more as a societal failure. At any other point in history this would not have happened. I understand there's a lot of shame, guilt and just emotional baggage in general associated with being overweight but when 30% of the worlds population is I think it moves beyond the individual. Take charge and responsibility to change your circumstances but for goodness sakes be kind to yourself -- you don't deserve contempt and derision.
You're the one who introduced and equated the consequential concepts of contempt, derision, shame and the like with failure. They don't go hand in hand of necessity. You keep posting as if they do.
It's okay to have done something wrong.
Actually, I think those concepts are the things we can't change! Those are so deeply embedded in society that an alternative, more positive way of thinking is very, very difficult. Also, we sort of need to feelings so that we can rationally and objectively criticize and better ourselves.
What I disagree with is the fact that this is a societal failure. Sure, our society is a massive part of the issue, but isn't the sole issue, or even the most liable, I think. If it were truly beyond the individual and due to society, a much larger portion of the population would be overweight.
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pavingnewpaths wrote: »I wouldn't particularly use the term "character" just because it's a bit vague. But it certainly shows a lack of self-discipline and a need for instant gratification, along with many other things. All of which are negative qualities, in my own opinion.
It also represents a choice. Why do you feel compelled to describe that choice in such judgemental language?
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Although I do not and have never had any weight to lose, I certainly had some questionable eating habits for a portion of my teen years when it comes to eating a well balanced diet. I wouldn't consider it a personal failing, but I was quite the picky eater.0
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BlackScorpio91 wrote: »DedRepublic wrote: »You just have to decide what you want more....brownies...or weight loss. Or count the calories in brownies and stay at a deficit.
My advice would be to have a cheat meal (NOT DAY) once a week. And on this meal add brownies. For me...Saturday night is cheat meal...usually family date night and date night with wifey. We always go out to eat...it is mandatory. On this meal I splurge a little.
This
My Cheat Meal from Saturday. I was down 3 lbs on the week and needed to make up som cals...plus I'm love the Monte Cristo meal so I added it to my usual. See...I splurge sometimes...but once and only once per week...sometimes I dream about this meal during the week especially if I'm low carbing it...makes it that much more satisfying. Now on the Cheat Meal it is best to limit it to 45 minutes or less and for me it takes the place of meals 5 and 6 on Saturday...so I do not eat again on the day after this meal. Also best to keep the Cheat Meal to night time as doing in over lunch may lead to more cheating throughout the day. Also this meal is productive for me as I usually workout heavy 2 hours before the meal...so I give those carbs some place to go.
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Man, that's evil. Do I even want to know what's on the plate with the fries? Yes, I do and then I can have fantasies about eating it.DedRepublic wrote: »BlackScorpio91 wrote: »DedRepublic wrote: »You just have to decide what you want more....brownies...or weight loss. Or count the calories in brownies and stay at a deficit.
My advice would be to have a cheat meal (NOT DAY) once a week. And on this meal add brownies. For me...Saturday night is cheat meal...usually family date night and date night with wifey. We always go out to eat...it is mandatory. On this meal I splurge a little.
This
My Cheat Meal from Saturday. I was down 3 lbs on the week and needed to make up som cals...plus I'm love the Monte Cristo meal so I added it to my usual. See...I splurge sometimes...but once and only once per week...sometimes I dream about this meal during the week especially if I'm low carbing it...makes it that much more satisfying. Now on the Cheat Meal it is best to limit it to 45 minutes or less and for me it takes the place of meals 5 and 6 on Saturday...so I do not eat again on the day after this meal. Also best to keep the Cheat Meal to night time as doing in over lunch may lead to more cheating throughout the day. Also this meal is productive for me as I usually workout heavy 2 hours before the meal...so I give those carbs some place to go.
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