Rude comments?
blessedwith3boys
Posts: 136 Member
How do you deal with rude comments or people thinking that your not doing enough weather here or in real life?
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I ignore them. How someone else speaks isn't a reflection of you, it's a reflection of them. Focus on the things that have a positive influence in your life, not the things that bring you down. However, if someone is genuinely trying to help you consider what they're saying because it might just be what you need to hear. If it's not ignore it.1
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Let your progress speak for itself. If that's not good enough for them, then it's a good thing your weight isn't their business.1
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People don't generally make rude comments here. Blunt honesty is often mistaken for rudeness by people who would rather hear sugar coated half-truths, or outright lies.
In real life, eff 'em. Anyone who would make a rude comment isn't worth spending the brain power on to worry about it.0 -
Depends on the situation and person involved.
If it's someone online, I tell them to stop being a jerk/grow up. If it's on Facebook, I eventually block them.
If it's in real life, and it's someone I have a decent/more than superficial relationship with, I may, depending on the relationship/person involved:
Ignore the remark
Tell them to bite me
Smile with a strained look on my face and say nothing
Point out something about them that is lacking
Change the subject.0 -
I think on here a lot of what comes off as rude is not meant to be hurtful, just a bit blunt and sometimes a misunderstood sense of humour.
In real life, I can generally tell if someone means to be rude, and if they do, I think it says a lot more about them than it does about me, so I feel a bit sorry for them, and get on with my awesome life.0 -
Well, I really can't control the next person. If it's IRL, I may give either a withering or quizzical stare, but really, what can ya do? People are all over the spectrum of knowledge/capability of social graces. Someone else raised the person; you can't do it now. The person was raised to be fantastic, a total azzhole or somewhere in between. Just give a brief look, turn around, walk away and get on with your day.
If it's online, there are people who are genuinely clueless, and then there are people who have made a career of vomiting out the same tired memes ("special snowflake" is among my current favorites to ignore) and other "follower" temporary witticisms in order to sound cool...you can't really do much about that either...but know this: that person has his/her seven seconds' claim to fame on some anonymous message board, then everyone forgets him/her again. A few in the posse will jump on board hyuck-hyucking their own tired regurgitated nettisms and equally-follower gifs, then it will all blow over again. I hate to sound so cynical, but really, a few minutes' observation on the internet will show you all of this. It's up to you whether or not to participate; these sorts of methods will continue forever, as far as I can see, at least as long as "forever" includes anonymity online and a frustration/invisibility IRL. It just...is.0 -
Depends on the rude comments, but I don't see how what you are doing is anyone else's business. As someone else said, I'd just ignore it or let it me motivation and focus on your efforts. Your results will speak for themselves!0
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lemurcat12 wrote: »Depends on the rude comments, but I don't see how what you are doing is anyone else's business. As someone else said, I'd just ignore it or let it me motivation and focus on your efforts. Your results will speak for themselves!
Indeed.
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It is easy to feel like others are judging harshly some days. I think when I am feeling that others are being harsh that those feelings are rooted in the way I feel about myself. When I make better friend with myself the feelings usually go away.
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I try to decide if they may have a point. Sometimes a rude comment may just be a truth I just don't want to hear. It also depends who it's comming from. I've heard rude comments made and never let it get to me because usually it was just some miserable person unhappy with themselves and wanted to take it out on me. Plus they may not have the whole story. someone who judges me on one moment without considering there's always more to a story isn't worth my time.
Occasionally I use a rude comment as motivation. They think that? I'll show them! Even if "they" never know, I still feel empowered that I proved them wrong to myself.
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Is this a reprise of the "Don't be so mean" thread that was shut down?0
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Depends on if the comment is truthful and how I feel about the commenter.0
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atypicalsmith wrote: »Is this a reprise of the "Don't be so mean" thread that was shut down?Today Is Only Wednesday, you are 2 day too early.
Perhaps resurrection would have been a better term. Wait until Friday.0 -
just imagine that you're sucker punching em in the face and that you're not gonna be hauled off to jail! Works for me!0
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And what do you gain from that?rocknlotsofrolls wrote: »just imagine that you're sucker punching em in the face and that you're not gonna be hauled off to jail! Works for me!
A very high level of satisfaction.0 -
a satisfying feeling! Just like when your yelling at some dip wipe on the road that can't drive and you just know that he can't hear ya!
And what do you gain from that?rocknlotsofrolls wrote: »just imagine that you're sucker punching em in the face and that you're not gonna be hauled off to jail! Works for me!
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Just want to share a story about the danger of rude comments:
Trevor, 13 years old and a little overweight loved football. Some people looked at him and decided he would be a good target to pick on. So one boy started to pick on him, calling him fatty, elephant and other hurtful names. Him and his pals would say, "Hey, fatty, what have you get in your lunch box today?" Then they would take his lunch box, throw his lynch on the ground and then squash it with their feet and tell Trevor it would make him get thin. They would laugh at him and sometimes beat him up. Trevor never told his parents or teachers and would tell him mum the injuries were from playing football. One day Trevor had enough. He went home early, grabbed a rope, tied one end round his neck and the other end round the top banister of the stairs. Wrote a note saying sorry to his mum. Then started walking down the stairs. He wanted to end every harsh word, every torment, every nasty comment. Suddenly, the phone rang, it was his mum, the answering machine got the call. He started to run, forgot the rope, tripped and that was the end. Trevor's mum came home, opened the door and met her only son lifeless.
Trevor was no more. His mum was never the same again. How do I know? True story, it happened when I was in secondary school and I know his family very well.
Internet bullying and nasty words can have the same effect. Think before you say something. The person could be like Trevor. We should all be kind to one another and supportive. The world is a nasty place and we need to be united.
Sorry for the long post, I felt I should share this story.1 -
thank you for sharing that story jorinya. I agree that you don't have to sugar coat anything and still be able to politely answer someone's question without all the sarcasm.0
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blessedwith3boys wrote: »How do you deal with rude comments or people thinking that your not doing enough weather here or in real life?
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I just remembered him cos his anniversary is coming soon and his was my vest friend's little cousin. I was bullied too but that was for wearing glasses and been thin. Long story. Trevor is the reason I didn't do anything stupid cos I didn't want my friend to be hurt again. We are all just players in this thing we call life's journey.rocknlotsofrolls wrote: »thank you for sharing that story jorinya. I agree that you don't have to sugar coat anything and still be able to politely answer someone's question without all the sarcasm.
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Just want to share a story about the danger of rude comments:
Trevor, 13 years old and a little overweight loved football. Some people looked at him and decided he would be a good target to pick on. So one boy started to pick on him, calling him fatty, elephant and other hurtful names. Him and his pals would say, "Hey, fatty, what have you get in your lunch box today?" Then they would take his lunch box, throw his lynch on the ground and then squash it with their feet and tell Trevor it would make him get thin. They would laugh at him and sometimes beat him up. Trevor never told his parents or teachers and would tell him mum the injuries were from playing football. One day Trevor had enough. He went home early, grabbed a rope, tied one end round his neck and the other end round the top banister of the stairs. Wrote a note saying sorry to his mum. Then started walking down the stairs. He wanted to end every harsh word, every torment, every nasty comment. Suddenly, the phone rang, it was his mum, the answering machine got the call. He started to run, forgot the rope, tripped and that was the end. Trevor's mum came home, opened the door and met her only son lifeless.
Trevor was no more. His mum was never the same again. How do I know? True story, it happened when I was in secondary school and I know his family very well.
Internet bullying and nasty words can have the same effect. Think before you say something. The person could be like Trevor. We should all be kind to one another and supportive. The world is a nasty place and we need to be united.
Sorry for the long post, I felt I should share this story.
Did he ever ask anyone for advice on how to lose his weight? This is a completely different story than what happens on MFP when people ask for advice, and when they get sensible answers, get hysterical when it's not what they want to hear.0 -
atypicalsmith wrote: »Did he ever ask anyone for advice on how to lose his weight? This is a completely different story than what happens on MFP when people ask for advice, and when they get sensible answers, get hysterical when it's not what they want to hear.
He played football and eat healthy, was under doctor's supervision but nothing seemed to work. I guess the nasty comments made him eat much behind his parents backs. He was so brainy and funny.0 -
Words hurt....but some people forget that. Do you best to hold your head up high. Sometimes I ignore and consider the source.0
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atypicalsmith wrote: »Did he ever ask anyone for advice on how to lose his weight? This is a completely different story than what happens on MFP when people ask for advice, and when they get sensible answers, get hysterical when it's not what they want to hear.
He played football and eat healthy, was under doctor's supervision but nothing seemed to work. I guess the nasty comments made him eat much behind his parents backs. He was so brainy and funny.
I am terribly sorry about this sweet young man's demise; I know it must hurt you very much to see such a shattered loss. I had both a grandfather and an aunt who committed suicide. Mental illness is not controllable. Weight loss is. I don't mean to sound mean or cynical, but your story has nothing to do with MFP.0 -
unfortunately it is so easy to take comments the wrong way online. i really don't think anyone is trying to hurt others feelings or be rude. but sometimes people forget what it's like to be new and intimidated and sometimes people lose they're patience and should maybe not respond at all. i have done this once or twice. when i realize ive been a jerk i usually will message them personally and say sorry. i think though that most people mean well0
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jenncornelsen wrote: »unfortunately it is so easy to take comments the wrong way online. i really don't think anyone is trying to hurt others feelings or be rude. but sometimes people forget what it's like to be new and intimidated and sometimes people lose they're patience and should maybe not respond at all. i have done this once or twice. when i realize ive been a jerk i usually will message them personally and say sorry. i think though that most people mean well
And you are absolutely right.0
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