Rude comments?
Replies
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stevencloser wrote: »
By that logic you aren't allowed to say anything unless it's all bubbly nice with sugar on top, because someone might feel sad from it.
What's a tired, horse-beaten topic without a strawman?
Because after all, there can't possibly be ANYTHING between being a bubbly sugary giggling moron, and being a complete azzhat.
But I think a ridiculous "Oh fine, then I'll just be completely sugary-disgusting instead"-style nonsense comment was pretty much bound to happen at some point, sooner or later. In this case, sooner.
Indeed. A person can disagree with someone else's viewpoint or point out what they believe to be inaccuracies in their information without belittling or mocking them. (And if people genuinely think they are educating others by addressing them that way, they should imagine how they would feel if a teacher spoke to them like that.)
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Everyone has the right to thier own opinion. It's easy to forget that when you are on the internet and you don't have to debate the other person face to face. You know what's right for you, listen to all the advice and learn what you can and let the negative chatter go.0
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Needs more Dr Poon , less sniveling.0
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atypicalsmith wrote: »Just want to share a story about the danger of rude comments:
Trevor, 13 years old and a little overweight loved football. Some people looked at him and decided he would be a good target to pick on. So one boy started to pick on him, calling him fatty, elephant and other hurtful names. Him and his pals would say, "Hey, fatty, what have you get in your lunch box today?" Then they would take his lunch box, throw his lynch on the ground and then squash it with their feet and tell Trevor it would make him get thin. They would laugh at him and sometimes beat him up. Trevor never told his parents or teachers and would tell him mum the injuries were from playing football. One day Trevor had enough. He went home early, grabbed a rope, tied one end round his neck and the other end round the top banister of the stairs. Wrote a note saying sorry to his mum. Then started walking down the stairs. He wanted to end every harsh word, every torment, every nasty comment. Suddenly, the phone rang, it was his mum, the answering machine got the call. He started to run, forgot the rope, tripped and that was the end. Trevor's mum came home, opened the door and met her only son lifeless.
Trevor was no more. His mum was never the same again. How do I know? True story, it happened when I was in secondary school and I know his family very well.
Internet bullying and nasty words can have the same effect. Think before you say something. The person could be like Trevor. We should all be kind to one another and supportive. The world is a nasty place and we need to be united.
Sorry for the long post, I felt I should share this story.
Did he ever ask anyone for advice on how to lose his weight? This is a completely different story than what happens on MFP when people ask for advice, and when they get sensible answers, get hysterical when it's not what they want to hear.
You are so wrong. Some people here delight in making fun of others and are downright nasty. I am gobsmacked by the sheer unadulterated bullying that I see on this site. You can say to someone "Are you sure you are weighing correctly?" Or "Calories in and calories out is a good formula to follow" Rather than "I have that since I cut out salads I have lost weight, must be those salads not the cheesecake I was scoffing" or actively ridiculing someone because of their chosen diet. I just wonder sometimes whether successful losers or people that have never had to lose are like reformed smokers. You know the sort of person who is sooooo holier than thou and never misses an opportunity to belittle another addict.
Honestly, you can eat a salad that has way more calories than a piece of cheesecake. It depends on what you put on your salad, and how big or what your cheesecake it made out of. *shrug*
There are a select few people on these forums that will set out to only ridicule someone. Most people who post will - when asked - offer either their experience with a particular diet, scientific fact and research to back up what they are saying, or suggestions to the OP. @atypicalsmith was correct in what she said. It might not be what people want to hear, but that's life. And since MFP doesn't have an "I was just joking, don't get your panties twisted" or a "I'm just trying to help! I'm not bullying you!" font, some people will just interpret things as being mean.
In the forums, many times a poster will ask for an opinion on a particular type of diet because of what they saw on social media, a commercial or because they heard about it from a friend and have a very small bit of knowledge about it. That poster will either want: a) serious answers and assistance, or b) to hear what they want to hear.
When coming to the forum, you might not like everything you hear. It's an open forum and I doubt anyone who has spent a ton of time on here, either lurking or actively posting, has read things that delight the balls off of them. I think this is one of the reasons why MFP suggests that if you're looking to only find one side on a topic, or the topic is particularly divisive in nature, to look for a group to post in.
But flying off the handle when someone gives a differing opinion that the OP doesn't necessarily want to hear and calling the poster who is trying to help a "bully" or getting indignant for offering advice that was asked for is - unfortunately - more common than the OP saying, "oh! thanks so much for the help! I didn't realize..."
Stick around and frequent forums with open eyes. You see this behavior quite a bit.0 -
hungry people tend to say things they don't always mean!!!0
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SconnieCat wrote: »atypicalsmith wrote: »Just want to share a story about the danger of rude comments:
Trevor, 13 years old and a little overweight loved football. Some people looked at him and decided he would be a good target to pick on. So one boy started to pick on him, calling him fatty, elephant and other hurtful names. Him and his pals would say, "Hey, fatty, what have you get in your lunch box today?" Then they would take his lunch box, throw his lynch on the ground and then squash it with their feet and tell Trevor it would make him get thin. They would laugh at him and sometimes beat him up. Trevor never told his parents or teachers and would tell him mum the injuries were from playing football. One day Trevor had enough. He went home early, grabbed a rope, tied one end round his neck and the other end round the top banister of the stairs. Wrote a note saying sorry to his mum. Then started walking down the stairs. He wanted to end every harsh word, every torment, every nasty comment. Suddenly, the phone rang, it was his mum, the answering machine got the call. He started to run, forgot the rope, tripped and that was the end. Trevor's mum came home, opened the door and met her only son lifeless.
Trevor was no more. His mum was never the same again. How do I know? True story, it happened when I was in secondary school and I know his family very well.
Internet bullying and nasty words can have the same effect. Think before you say something. The person could be like Trevor. We should all be kind to one another and supportive. The world is a nasty place and we need to be united.
Sorry for the long post, I felt I should share this story.
Did he ever ask anyone for advice on how to lose his weight? This is a completely different story than what happens on MFP when people ask for advice, and when they get sensible answers, get hysterical when it's not what they want to hear.
You are so wrong. Some people here delight in making fun of others and are downright nasty. I am gobsmacked by the sheer unadulterated bullying that I see on this site. You can say to someone "Are you sure you are weighing correctly?" Or "Calories in and calories out is a good formula to follow" Rather than "I have that since I cut out salads I have lost weight, must be those salads not the cheesecake I was scoffing" or actively ridiculing someone because of their chosen diet. I just wonder sometimes whether successful losers or people that have never had to lose are like reformed smokers. You know the sort of person who is sooooo holier than thou and never misses an opportunity to belittle another addict.
Honestly, you can eat a salad that has way more calories than a piece of cheesecake. It depends on what you put on your salad, and how big or what your cheesecake it made out of. *shrug*
There are a select few people on these forums that will set out to only ridicule someone. Most people who post will - when asked - offer either their experience with a particular diet, scientific fact and research to back up what they are saying, or suggestions to the OP. @atypicalsmith was correct in what she said. It might not be what people want to hear, but that's life. And since MFP doesn't have an "I was just joking, don't get your panties twisted" or a "I'm just trying to help! I'm not bullying you!" font, some people will just interpret things as being mean.
In the forums, many times a poster will ask for an opinion on a particular type of diet because of what they saw on social media, a commercial or because they heard about it from a friend and have a very small bit of knowledge about it. That poster will either want: a) serious answers and assistance, or b) to hear what they want to hear.
When coming to the forum, you might not like everything you hear. It's an open forum and I doubt anyone who has spent a ton of time on here, either lurking or actively posting, has read things that delight the balls off of them. I think this is one of the reasons why MFP suggests that if you're looking to only find one side on a topic, or the topic is particularly divisive in nature, to look for a group to post in.
But flying off the handle when someone gives a differing opinion that the OP doesn't necessarily want to hear and calling the poster who is trying to help a "bully" or getting indignant for offering advice that was asked for is - unfortunately - more common than the OP saying, "oh! thanks so much for the help! I didn't realize..."
Stick around and frequent forums with open eyes. You see this behavior quite a bit.
^winning0 -
jenncornelsen wrote: »unfortunately it is so easy to take comments the wrong way online. i really don't think anyone is trying to hurt others feelings or be rude. but sometimes people forget what it's like to be new and intimidated and sometimes people lose they're patience and should maybe not respond at all. i have done this once or twice. when i realize ive been a jerk i usually will message them personally and say sorry. i think though that most people mean well
I've appologized for being a jerk on here, usually it's because I'm not taking my own advice above and getting defensive. I end up getting ganged up on by many IIFYM people because of my opinions about sugar and the benefits of eating whole foods. Some people get butthurt when you tell them that thier junk food is bad. Then I get butthurt when you tell me that "I don't know the first thing about human physiology." Then we start debating whether a calorie really is just a calorie and whether or not you should take your hormones into consideration.0 -
Just dont rise to them, you have already made the frist step by being on here and doing the hard work0
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Is it rude to point out that I think it's pretty awesome that I woke up this morning and 2 people are behind bars here and I think it's awesome ?
No, but it IS ironic considering the fact that you were crowing just yesterday about how revenge thoughts are so unhealthy.
But rude? I wouldn't say so, no.
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Chrysalid2014 wrote: »stevencloser wrote: »
By that logic you aren't allowed to say anything unless it's all bubbly nice with sugar on top, because someone might feel sad from it.
What's a tired, horse-beaten topic without a strawman?
Because after all, there can't possibly be ANYTHING between being a bubbly sugary giggling moron, and being a complete azzhat.
But I think a ridiculous "Oh fine, then I'll just be completely sugary-disgusting instead"-style nonsense comment was pretty much bound to happen at some point, sooner or later. In this case, sooner.
Indeed. A person can disagree with someone else's viewpoint or point out what they believe to be inaccuracies in their information without belittling or mocking them. (And if people genuinely think they are educating others by addressing them that way, they should imagine how they would feel if a teacher spoke to them like that.)
I'm an adult. Why would I infantilize myself by placing strangers on the internet in a power position over me? People have the effect on you that you allow them to have.0 -
Actually your statement is incorrect. If you go back and read my posts you will clearly see that I never said people should not think about revenge. What I did do was point out the irony in how someone was crying about people being rude while thinking about punching people in the face.Is it rude to point out that I think it's pretty awesome that I woke up this morning and 2 people are behind bars here and I think it's awesome ?
No, but it IS ironic considering the fact that you were crowing just yesterday about how revenge thoughts are so unhealthy.
But rude? I wouldn't say so, no.
But nice try.
What was all that impassioned, horrified (ZOMG!) breast-beating about people thinking about smacking the person? I guess I'd have to rifle back through the posts.
But nice try.
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Chrysalid2014 wrote: »stevencloser wrote: »
By that logic you aren't allowed to say anything unless it's all bubbly nice with sugar on top, because someone might feel sad from it.
What's a tired, horse-beaten topic without a strawman?
Because after all, there can't possibly be ANYTHING between being a bubbly sugary giggling moron, and being a complete azzhat.
But I think a ridiculous "Oh fine, then I'll just be completely sugary-disgusting instead"-style nonsense comment was pretty much bound to happen at some point, sooner or later. In this case, sooner.
Indeed. A person can disagree with someone else's viewpoint or point out what they believe to be inaccuracies in their information without belittling or mocking them. (And if people genuinely think they are educating others by addressing them that way, they should imagine how they would feel if a teacher spoke to them like that.)
The only ones actually getting mocked are the ones who repeatedly come into threads, spout nonsensical BS, misinterpret articles and studies, lie about what they or others have said and moving goal posts.0 -
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I deal with negativity everyday even from family and loved ones those who mock me tryig to loose weight or who still offer me a cookie knowing im trying really hard it's all mind over matter I have a saying that goes like this "you can't shoot me down unless I hand you the gun" in other words someone cannot bother you unless you show them they intagonize you . I cobra ally hear yeah right you're not going to loose weight and I turn that into motivation to not eat those chips or the chocolate bar in the freezer , to get up everyday and work my *kitten* off and by touch not a drop of soda and I cook for everyone in my house so imagine cooking unhealty foods and piry if soda for my husband and still not touching those fat foods and say *kitten* em all lol0
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Actually your statement is incorrect. If you go back and read my posts you will clearly see that I never said people should not think about revenge. What I did do was point out the irony in how someone was crying about people being rude while thinking about punching people in the face.Is it rude to point out that I think it's pretty awesome that I woke up this morning and 2 people are behind bars here and I think it's awesome ?
No, but it IS ironic considering the fact that you were crowing just yesterday about how revenge thoughts are so unhealthy.
But rude? I wouldn't say so, no.
But nice try.
What was all that impassioned, horrified (ZOMG!) breast-beating about people thinking about smacking the person? I guess I'd have to rifle back through the posts.
But nice try.
The level of emotions flowing through your posts are overwhelming.
I am sorry you're so affected. Perhaps some deep breathing exercises?
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Chrysalid2014 wrote: »stevencloser wrote: »
By that logic you aren't allowed to say anything unless it's all bubbly nice with sugar on top, because someone might feel sad from it.
What's a tired, horse-beaten topic without a strawman?
Because after all, there can't possibly be ANYTHING between being a bubbly sugary giggling moron, and being a complete azzhat.
But I think a ridiculous "Oh fine, then I'll just be completely sugary-disgusting instead"-style nonsense comment was pretty much bound to happen at some point, sooner or later. In this case, sooner.
Indeed. A person can disagree with someone else's viewpoint or point out what they believe to be inaccuracies in their information without belittling or mocking them. (And if people genuinely think they are educating others by addressing them that way, they should imagine how they would feel if a teacher spoke to them like that.)
I'm an adult. Why would I infantilize myself by placing strangers on the internet in a power position over me? People have the effect on you that you allow them to have.
+1
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I'm the one that said I would imagine punching the rude person in the face when I answered the OP's question, and somehow it got blowned waaayy out of proportion. I apologized for it and now it's gotten brought back up again. I regret having any thoughts on the matter. And when I said this morning about saying something about my mama, I was only kidding, but I see what others are talking about when they say people take things too seriously sometimes on here. Either way, I've learned a lesson, and that is too keep all personal thoughts to myself and just try to help the OP. That's what support is all about afterall.
Actually your statement is incorrect. If you go back and read my posts you will clearly see that I never said people should not think about revenge. What I did do was point out the irony in how someone was crying about people being rude while thinking about punching people in the face.Is it rude to point out that I think it's pretty awesome that I woke up this morning and 2 people are behind bars here and I think it's awesome ?
No, but it IS ironic considering the fact that you were crowing just yesterday about how revenge thoughts are so unhealthy.
But rude? I wouldn't say so, no.
But nice try.
What was all that impassioned, horrified (ZOMG!) breast-beating about people thinking about smacking the person? I guess I'd have to rifle back through the posts.
But nice try.
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stevencloser wrote: »Chrysalid2014 wrote: »stevencloser wrote: »
By that logic you aren't allowed to say anything unless it's all bubbly nice with sugar on top, because someone might feel sad from it.
What's a tired, horse-beaten topic without a strawman?
Because after all, there can't possibly be ANYTHING between being a bubbly sugary giggling moron, and being a complete azzhat.
But I think a ridiculous "Oh fine, then I'll just be completely sugary-disgusting instead"-style nonsense comment was pretty much bound to happen at some point, sooner or later. In this case, sooner.
Indeed. A person can disagree with someone else's viewpoint or point out what they believe to be inaccuracies in their information without belittling or mocking them. (And if people genuinely think they are educating others by addressing them that way, they should imagine how they would feel if a teacher spoke to them like that.)
The only ones actually getting mocked are the ones who repeatedly come into threads, spout nonsensical BS, misinterpret articles and studies, lie about what they or others have said and moving goal posts.
It's almost as if you chose the right person to quote in your response...
And +1 about the bars
(another rude tick mark for me today)0 -
stevencloser wrote: »Chrysalid2014 wrote: »stevencloser wrote: »
By that logic you aren't allowed to say anything unless it's all bubbly nice with sugar on top, because someone might feel sad from it.
What's a tired, horse-beaten topic without a strawman?
Because after all, there can't possibly be ANYTHING between being a bubbly sugary giggling moron, and being a complete azzhat.
But I think a ridiculous "Oh fine, then I'll just be completely sugary-disgusting instead"-style nonsense comment was pretty much bound to happen at some point, sooner or later. In this case, sooner.
Indeed. A person can disagree with someone else's viewpoint or point out what they believe to be inaccuracies in their information without belittling or mocking them. (And if people genuinely think they are educating others by addressing them that way, they should imagine how they would feel if a teacher spoke to them like that.)
The only ones actually getting mocked are the ones who repeatedly come into threads, spout nonsensical BS, misinterpret articles and studies, lie about what they or others have said and moving goal posts.
Also? Mocking/refuting/debating the information in someone's post is not the same as mocking THEM, though with all the butthurt floating around, it seems people see it that way.
Woo and BS deserve mockery and contempt.
http://whatstheharm.net/
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peachyfuzzle wrote: »People don't generally make rude comments here. Blunt honesty is often mistaken for rudeness by people who would rather hear sugar coated half-truths, or outright lies.
In real life, eff 'em. Anyone who would make a rude comment isn't worth spending the brain power on to worry about it.
Really? You couldn't have been more ruder to me.0 -
duffylynnreb wrote: »peachyfuzzle wrote: »People don't generally make rude comments here. Blunt honesty is often mistaken for rudeness by people who would rather hear sugar coated half-truths, or outright lies.
In real life, eff 'em. Anyone who would make a rude comment isn't worth spending the brain power on to worry about it.
Really? You couldn't have been more ruder to me.
Is that a challenge?0 -
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lowendfuzz wrote: »SconnieCat wrote: »atypicalsmith wrote: »Just want to share a story about the danger of rude comments:
Trevor, 13 years old and a little overweight loved football. Some people looked at him and decided he would be a good target to pick on. So one boy started to pick on him, calling him fatty, elephant and other hurtful names. Him and his pals would say, "Hey, fatty, what have you get in your lunch box today?" Then they would take his lunch box, throw his lynch on the ground and then squash it with their feet and tell Trevor it would make him get thin. They would laugh at him and sometimes beat him up. Trevor never told his parents or teachers and would tell him mum the injuries were from playing football. One day Trevor had enough. He went home early, grabbed a rope, tied one end round his neck and the other end round the top banister of the stairs. Wrote a note saying sorry to his mum. Then started walking down the stairs. He wanted to end every harsh word, every torment, every nasty comment. Suddenly, the phone rang, it was his mum, the answering machine got the call. He started to run, forgot the rope, tripped and that was the end. Trevor's mum came home, opened the door and met her only son lifeless.
Trevor was no more. His mum was never the same again. How do I know? True story, it happened when I was in secondary school and I know his family very well.
Internet bullying and nasty words can have the same effect. Think before you say something. The person could be like Trevor. We should all be kind to one another and supportive. The world is a nasty place and we need to be united.
Sorry for the long post, I felt I should share this story.
Did he ever ask anyone for advice on how to lose his weight? This is a completely different story than what happens on MFP when people ask for advice, and when they get sensible answers, get hysterical when it's not what they want to hear.
You are so wrong. Some people here delight in making fun of others and are downright nasty. I am gobsmacked by the sheer unadulterated bullying that I see on this site. You can say to someone "Are you sure you are weighing correctly?" Or "Calories in and calories out is a good formula to follow" Rather than "I have that since I cut out salads I have lost weight, must be those salads not the cheesecake I was scoffing" or actively ridiculing someone because of their chosen diet. I just wonder sometimes whether successful losers or people that have never had to lose are like reformed smokers. You know the sort of person who is sooooo holier than thou and never misses an opportunity to belittle another addict.
Honestly, you can eat a salad that has way more calories than a piece of cheesecake. It depends on what you put on your salad, and how big or what your cheesecake it made out of. *shrug*
There are a select few people on these forums that will set out to only ridicule someone. Most people who post will - when asked - offer either their experience with a particular diet, scientific fact and research to back up what they are saying, or suggestions to the OP. @atypicalsmith was correct in what she said. It might not be what people want to hear, but that's life. And since MFP doesn't have an "I was just joking, don't get your panties twisted" or a "I'm just trying to help! I'm not bullying you!" font, some people will just interpret things as being mean.
In the forums, many times a poster will ask for an opinion on a particular type of diet because of what they saw on social media, a commercial or because they heard about it from a friend and have a very small bit of knowledge about it. That poster will either want: a) serious answers and assistance, or b) to hear what they want to hear.
When coming to the forum, you might not like everything you hear. It's an open forum and I doubt anyone who has spent a ton of time on here, either lurking or actively posting, has read things that delight the balls off of them. I think this is one of the reasons why MFP suggests that if you're looking to only find one side on a topic, or the topic is particularly divisive in nature, to look for a group to post in.
But flying off the handle when someone gives a differing opinion that the OP doesn't necessarily want to hear and calling the poster who is trying to help a "bully" or getting indignant for offering advice that was asked for is - unfortunately - more common than the OP saying, "oh! thanks so much for the help! I didn't realize..."
Stick around and frequent forums with open eyes. You see this behavior quite a bit.
^winning
+1
Also, people throw the "bully" term around way too much these days. If you are feeling "bullied" on here, you can shut down your computer. Try telling a kid who is being bullied in real life that what you see here is "bullying." SMH.0 -
duffylynnreb wrote: »peachyfuzzle wrote: »People don't generally make rude comments here. Blunt honesty is often mistaken for rudeness by people who would rather hear sugar coated half-truths, or outright lies.
In real life, eff 'em. Anyone who would make a rude comment isn't worth spending the brain power on to worry about it.
Really? You couldn't have been more ruder to me.
Were you promoting some pseudo-science woo babble?0
This discussion has been closed.
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