Rude comments?
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blessedwith3boys wrote: »How do you deal with rude comments or people thinking that your not doing enough weather here or in real life?
I consider the source. If it's from a person I respect, I might consider what s/he said and also why s/he may have said it in a rude manner, and I might ask about how the message was delivered in such a negative way.
If it's from a person I don't respect, I disregard it without hurt or a second thought.0 -
Rude's a matter of perception, and it's awfully hard to discern tone on the internet.
The majority of what is considered rude on here is people not hearing what they want to hear.
Oh well. This is a forum for adults. That's the way life works. It's not always going to cater to you.
Some of the people who have reputations for being the rudest happen to be the most knowledgeable and should actually be listened to the most. I learned that quite quickly when I lurked a while before posting. Some of the people who try to come across as sunshine and rainbows are ugly, petty human beings. That's life.0 -
lemonsnowdrop wrote: »rocknlotsofrolls wrote: »I think being rude is when someone asks a question and you get a, "oh no, here we go again" or some sarcastic remark like that. Why the heck are you even typing something if you are not gonna try to help the person. There are thousands of topics on here, and maybe that person hasn't got the time on their hands to track down every one of them, so they post a topic for a quick reply. Not everyone on here is an experienced dieter. Some of us fall for crap because we are desperate to lose weight and we have to find out what works and what don't. Telling someone the honest truth about something is a different story. At least you are telling them the cold hard truth. I do not find that rude at all.
Girl, you got way too offended over that. Every time I start talking about the annoying chick in my class to my husband, he says, "Oh no, here we go again." He would be equally as unenthused if I then told him he was being a rude meanie pants for saying that. Maybe I'm just used to the internet, but forums are not the place for overly sensitive people.
yeah, I guess I did, didn't I? LOL! I don't get offended anymore, ever again! (Go ahead, say something bout my mama!)0 -
rocknlotsofrolls wrote: »lemonsnowdrop wrote: »rocknlotsofrolls wrote: »I think being rude is when someone asks a question and you get a, "oh no, here we go again" or some sarcastic remark like that. Why the heck are you even typing something if you are not gonna try to help the person. There are thousands of topics on here, and maybe that person hasn't got the time on their hands to track down every one of them, so they post a topic for a quick reply. Not everyone on here is an experienced dieter. Some of us fall for crap because we are desperate to lose weight and we have to find out what works and what don't. Telling someone the honest truth about something is a different story. At least you are telling them the cold hard truth. I do not find that rude at all.
Girl, you got way too offended over that. Every time I start talking about the annoying chick in my class to my husband, he says, "Oh no, here we go again." He would be equally as unenthused if I then told him he was being a rude meanie pants for saying that. Maybe I'm just used to the internet, but forums are not the place for overly sensitive people.
yeah, I guess I did, didn't I? LOL! I don't get offended anymore, ever again! (Go ahead, say something bout my mama!)
Must. Resist. Posting. Joker. Here. We. Go. Gif.0 -
rocknlotsofrolls wrote: »yeah, I guess I did, didn't I? LOL! I don't get offended anymore, ever again! (Go ahead, say something bout my mama!)
Your mama is a lucky person to have you as a daughter. You said say something, well I did. Its great to have a little girl, nothing wrong with boys, I have three.
See I'm not been rude or nasty and I don't want a coddle for being nice. We all see things from different view points that's what makes this world interesting. What you find sweet, I might find rude. One man's junk is another man's treasure and that.
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OK we've covered off rude and mean
can we move on to insipid and cloying next?0 -
rocknlotsofrolls wrote: »rocknlotsofrolls wrote: »ok. I have opinions just like everyone else on here. I believe the original post was, "how to handle rude comments" I answered her, and the last time I checked, it's not against the law to imagine punching someone, unless that has changed. Get over it already. Geez!
Right, we all do have opinions. But, people come on here all the time and ask for help and then get upset and balk at people who give them advice contrary to what they want to hear, and then everybody else who says what the OP wants to hear gets pats on the back. This is considered rude behavior in my book.just imagine that you're sucker punching em in the face and that you're not gonna be hauled off to jail! Works for me!
I personally think it's 100% okay to debate and argue, but violence whether physical or spoken is paying like for like, which as mom used to say, "Two rights don't make a wrong."
You can't expect to post such a volatile response and not have anyone else have an opinion about it.
Yup, pretty much. It's the same attitude we see from the people mad that everyone is not supporting every dumb idea they have. They call everyone rude then start cursing them out. Man everyone is so rude, I'll just imagine punching them in the face. Lol.
come on now. You just did the same thing yourself, didn't you? You can dish it out, but you can't take it when someone fights back. How rude of you! Doesn't feel so good, does it now?rocknlotsofrolls wrote: »
including yourself, eh?rocknlotsofrolls wrote: »ok. I have opinions just like everyone else on here. I believe the original post was, "how to handle rude comments" I answered her, and the last time I checked, it's not against the law to imagine punching someone, unless that has changed. Get over it already. Geez!
Right, we all do have opinions. But, people come on here all the time and ask for help and then get upset and balk at people who give them advice contrary to what they want to hear, and then everybody else who says what the OP wants to hear gets pats on the back. This is considered rude behavior in my book.just imagine that you're sucker punching em in the face and that you're not gonna be hauled off to jail! Works for me!
I personally think it's 100% okay to debate and argue, but violence whether physical or spoken is paying like for like, which as mom used to say, "Two rights don't make a wrong."
You can't expect to post such a volatile response and not have anyone else have an opinion about it.
What? And, that's to both of your remarks.
Where is the stated violence in either of our replies, except for quoting yours?
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In for the bingo squares
(probably rude)0 -
atypicalsmith wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »Some people on here are rude. Some are too sensitive. Some are whiners. Some irrationally come to the defense of others just to argue or "I told you so" to certain posters that they don't care for. And some post things just to piss off posters that they don't care for.
It's all obnoxious.
Obnoxious? I find disagreements very enlightening and putting stuff into perspective.
What I talked about in my post has nothing to do with disagreements. It's got everything to do with nitpicking other people's posts because you (general) don't like that person.
I love disagreements and debates. I don't love people popping into threads to point out that someone they don't like is rude - and never offering their own input/advice/support. It also annoys me when people pop into posts just to be snarky. Those are the things I find obnoxious and IMO actually take away from the discussion/debate at hand.0 -
stevencloser wrote: »
By that logic you aren't allowed to say anything unless it's all bubbly nice with sugar on top, because someone might feel sad from it.
What's a tired, horse-beaten topic without a strawman?
Because after all, there can't possibly be ANYTHING between being a bubbly sugary giggling moron, and being a complete azzhat.
But I think a ridiculous "Oh fine, then I'll just be completely sugary-disgusting instead"-style nonsense comment was pretty much bound to happen at some point, sooner or later. In this case, sooner.
Indeed. A person can disagree with someone else's viewpoint or point out what they believe to be inaccuracies in their information without belittling or mocking them. (And if people genuinely think they are educating others by addressing them that way, they should imagine how they would feel if a teacher spoke to them like that.)
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Everyone has the right to thier own opinion. It's easy to forget that when you are on the internet and you don't have to debate the other person face to face. You know what's right for you, listen to all the advice and learn what you can and let the negative chatter go.0
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Needs more Dr Poon , less sniveling.0
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atypicalsmith wrote: »Just want to share a story about the danger of rude comments:
Trevor, 13 years old and a little overweight loved football. Some people looked at him and decided he would be a good target to pick on. So one boy started to pick on him, calling him fatty, elephant and other hurtful names. Him and his pals would say, "Hey, fatty, what have you get in your lunch box today?" Then they would take his lunch box, throw his lynch on the ground and then squash it with their feet and tell Trevor it would make him get thin. They would laugh at him and sometimes beat him up. Trevor never told his parents or teachers and would tell him mum the injuries were from playing football. One day Trevor had enough. He went home early, grabbed a rope, tied one end round his neck and the other end round the top banister of the stairs. Wrote a note saying sorry to his mum. Then started walking down the stairs. He wanted to end every harsh word, every torment, every nasty comment. Suddenly, the phone rang, it was his mum, the answering machine got the call. He started to run, forgot the rope, tripped and that was the end. Trevor's mum came home, opened the door and met her only son lifeless.
Trevor was no more. His mum was never the same again. How do I know? True story, it happened when I was in secondary school and I know his family very well.
Internet bullying and nasty words can have the same effect. Think before you say something. The person could be like Trevor. We should all be kind to one another and supportive. The world is a nasty place and we need to be united.
Sorry for the long post, I felt I should share this story.
Did he ever ask anyone for advice on how to lose his weight? This is a completely different story than what happens on MFP when people ask for advice, and when they get sensible answers, get hysterical when it's not what they want to hear.
You are so wrong. Some people here delight in making fun of others and are downright nasty. I am gobsmacked by the sheer unadulterated bullying that I see on this site. You can say to someone "Are you sure you are weighing correctly?" Or "Calories in and calories out is a good formula to follow" Rather than "I have that since I cut out salads I have lost weight, must be those salads not the cheesecake I was scoffing" or actively ridiculing someone because of their chosen diet. I just wonder sometimes whether successful losers or people that have never had to lose are like reformed smokers. You know the sort of person who is sooooo holier than thou and never misses an opportunity to belittle another addict.
Honestly, you can eat a salad that has way more calories than a piece of cheesecake. It depends on what you put on your salad, and how big or what your cheesecake it made out of. *shrug*
There are a select few people on these forums that will set out to only ridicule someone. Most people who post will - when asked - offer either their experience with a particular diet, scientific fact and research to back up what they are saying, or suggestions to the OP. @atypicalsmith was correct in what she said. It might not be what people want to hear, but that's life. And since MFP doesn't have an "I was just joking, don't get your panties twisted" or a "I'm just trying to help! I'm not bullying you!" font, some people will just interpret things as being mean.
In the forums, many times a poster will ask for an opinion on a particular type of diet because of what they saw on social media, a commercial or because they heard about it from a friend and have a very small bit of knowledge about it. That poster will either want: a) serious answers and assistance, or b) to hear what they want to hear.
When coming to the forum, you might not like everything you hear. It's an open forum and I doubt anyone who has spent a ton of time on here, either lurking or actively posting, has read things that delight the balls off of them. I think this is one of the reasons why MFP suggests that if you're looking to only find one side on a topic, or the topic is particularly divisive in nature, to look for a group to post in.
But flying off the handle when someone gives a differing opinion that the OP doesn't necessarily want to hear and calling the poster who is trying to help a "bully" or getting indignant for offering advice that was asked for is - unfortunately - more common than the OP saying, "oh! thanks so much for the help! I didn't realize..."
Stick around and frequent forums with open eyes. You see this behavior quite a bit.0 -
hungry people tend to say things they don't always mean!!!0
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SconnieCat wrote: »atypicalsmith wrote: »Just want to share a story about the danger of rude comments:
Trevor, 13 years old and a little overweight loved football. Some people looked at him and decided he would be a good target to pick on. So one boy started to pick on him, calling him fatty, elephant and other hurtful names. Him and his pals would say, "Hey, fatty, what have you get in your lunch box today?" Then they would take his lunch box, throw his lynch on the ground and then squash it with their feet and tell Trevor it would make him get thin. They would laugh at him and sometimes beat him up. Trevor never told his parents or teachers and would tell him mum the injuries were from playing football. One day Trevor had enough. He went home early, grabbed a rope, tied one end round his neck and the other end round the top banister of the stairs. Wrote a note saying sorry to his mum. Then started walking down the stairs. He wanted to end every harsh word, every torment, every nasty comment. Suddenly, the phone rang, it was his mum, the answering machine got the call. He started to run, forgot the rope, tripped and that was the end. Trevor's mum came home, opened the door and met her only son lifeless.
Trevor was no more. His mum was never the same again. How do I know? True story, it happened when I was in secondary school and I know his family very well.
Internet bullying and nasty words can have the same effect. Think before you say something. The person could be like Trevor. We should all be kind to one another and supportive. The world is a nasty place and we need to be united.
Sorry for the long post, I felt I should share this story.
Did he ever ask anyone for advice on how to lose his weight? This is a completely different story than what happens on MFP when people ask for advice, and when they get sensible answers, get hysterical when it's not what they want to hear.
You are so wrong. Some people here delight in making fun of others and are downright nasty. I am gobsmacked by the sheer unadulterated bullying that I see on this site. You can say to someone "Are you sure you are weighing correctly?" Or "Calories in and calories out is a good formula to follow" Rather than "I have that since I cut out salads I have lost weight, must be those salads not the cheesecake I was scoffing" or actively ridiculing someone because of their chosen diet. I just wonder sometimes whether successful losers or people that have never had to lose are like reformed smokers. You know the sort of person who is sooooo holier than thou and never misses an opportunity to belittle another addict.
Honestly, you can eat a salad that has way more calories than a piece of cheesecake. It depends on what you put on your salad, and how big or what your cheesecake it made out of. *shrug*
There are a select few people on these forums that will set out to only ridicule someone. Most people who post will - when asked - offer either their experience with a particular diet, scientific fact and research to back up what they are saying, or suggestions to the OP. @atypicalsmith was correct in what she said. It might not be what people want to hear, but that's life. And since MFP doesn't have an "I was just joking, don't get your panties twisted" or a "I'm just trying to help! I'm not bullying you!" font, some people will just interpret things as being mean.
In the forums, many times a poster will ask for an opinion on a particular type of diet because of what they saw on social media, a commercial or because they heard about it from a friend and have a very small bit of knowledge about it. That poster will either want: a) serious answers and assistance, or b) to hear what they want to hear.
When coming to the forum, you might not like everything you hear. It's an open forum and I doubt anyone who has spent a ton of time on here, either lurking or actively posting, has read things that delight the balls off of them. I think this is one of the reasons why MFP suggests that if you're looking to only find one side on a topic, or the topic is particularly divisive in nature, to look for a group to post in.
But flying off the handle when someone gives a differing opinion that the OP doesn't necessarily want to hear and calling the poster who is trying to help a "bully" or getting indignant for offering advice that was asked for is - unfortunately - more common than the OP saying, "oh! thanks so much for the help! I didn't realize..."
Stick around and frequent forums with open eyes. You see this behavior quite a bit.
^winning0 -
jenncornelsen wrote: »unfortunately it is so easy to take comments the wrong way online. i really don't think anyone is trying to hurt others feelings or be rude. but sometimes people forget what it's like to be new and intimidated and sometimes people lose they're patience and should maybe not respond at all. i have done this once or twice. when i realize ive been a jerk i usually will message them personally and say sorry. i think though that most people mean well
I've appologized for being a jerk on here, usually it's because I'm not taking my own advice above and getting defensive. I end up getting ganged up on by many IIFYM people because of my opinions about sugar and the benefits of eating whole foods. Some people get butthurt when you tell them that thier junk food is bad. Then I get butthurt when you tell me that "I don't know the first thing about human physiology." Then we start debating whether a calorie really is just a calorie and whether or not you should take your hormones into consideration.0 -
Just dont rise to them, you have already made the frist step by being on here and doing the hard work0
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